Phillips High School - Mirror Yearbook (Birmingham, AL)

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The Mirror 3ru.—I am sworn into the office, O Caesar. I have pledged to show partiality to none. Therefore, faithful Cassius, take him hence to the county jail. Cac.—Et tu Brute! ACT III Scene 1 Kru.—Birminghamites and jitney21 riders, hear me for my cause and be silent that you may hear: Believe me on my word as a traffic cop and have respect to my red and green sign, that you may believe; censure me in your wisdom, but keep low your voices lest the judge may hear that censure. If there be any in this assembly, any dear friend of Caesar, this is my answer. Not that 1 loved Caesar less, but that I loved my commission on his fine more. Had you rather Caesar were free and die all pedestrians,22 than that Caesar were in jail to live all free walking men? As Caesar loves me. 1 weep for him; as he was wealthy, I took his wealth away: as he is strong, I fear him; but as he was speeding, I arrested him. There arc tears for his love, a fine for his wealth, chains for his strength, and punishment for his speed.23 Who is so base that would go on his bond? If any, speak, for him have I offended. Who is there so foolhardy as to dare the traffic cops? If any, speak, for him have I offended. I pause for reply. All—None, Brutus, none. Bru.—Then none have I offended. Here comes Mark Antony. For my sake, stay here with Antony; I depart, and there are yet things of value in the Ford. Anthony—Friends, auto owners, and fellow sufferers from traffic laws: Lend me vout ears. The fines that men pa live after them. Unbroken laws are oft forgotten with their bones. So let it be with Caesar. The noble Brutus hath told you Caesar was stingy. It it be true, it was a grievous fault, and grievously hath Caesar paid for it. Here under leave of Brutus and the rest—and Brutus is a traffic cop, so arc they all. all traffic cops—come I to speak in Caesar’s behalf. He is my friend, faithful and just to me, but Brutus says he is stingy, yet Brutus is a traffic cop. He has broken many laws, whose fines did oft the Judge’s pockets fill. Did this in Caesar seem stingy? When that the pedestrians have cried, Caesar wept. Was he stingy with tears? I speak not to disprove what Brutus spoke, vet here am I to speak what I know. You all did love him once not without cause. What cause holds you then to pay for him? Oh. fines: Thou art fled to traffic cops, the chauffeurs24 have lost their money; bear with me. My heart is in the county jail with him. I must pause until it comes hack to me. But yesterday the Ford of Caesar might have '■tood against the world; now lies he in jail, and none so kind to go his bond. If you have cents, prepare to shed them now. You all do know this Ford. I remember the first time Caesar ever rode in it. ’Twits on a summer’s evening in Pratt City, that day he raced the B.R.L. P.23 Look, in this place ran the traffic cop’s handle bars 21. Driver of machine opposite of perpetual motion—u er of hydraulic break . 22. Those who choose to run or lie very still. 23. Ten miles an hour. 24. Motorist . 25. Birmingham Electric Company. [28]

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The Mirror Cac.—Calpurnia. here, my wife, stays me at home. She dreamt last night that she saw my statute disfigured by many cruel blows of the traffic cop’s billet,n and afterwards draped in becoming stripes while my Ford,12 my little roamin’ Ford, was overwhelmed by plebeians seeking souvenirs. She hath interpreted this dream as a warning, and on her bended knee hath begged that I remain at home today. Dec.—This dream is all amiss interpreted. It was a vision fair and fortunate. Your statue draped in stripes only represents your statue, hereafter draped in blue ribbons of glory. The downfall of vour little roamin’ Ford is only a forerunner of the wonderful Maxwell15 that shall be yours. Cae.—And well hath thou expounded it. Dec.—Oh. great Caesar, the corporation hath concluded to give this day a raise to mighty Caesar. Cae.—1 will go. How foolish arc Calpurnia’s fears. I am ashamed that I have yielded to them. Calpurnia. bring me my garage key.15 Exit. ACT II Scene I—About 9 A.M. on Ides of March, on Second Avenue, Caesar’s little Ford dodging in and out of traffic. Caesar speeds across the street when the sema-phorc16 indicates “Stop.” T.C.—Hence, back, you ignorant knave. Is this a holiday? What, know you not. being city bred,17 you ought not go against the sign of the semaphore? Get you back. Cac.—Know’st thou to whom thou speakest? 1 am Caesar, manager of the Consolidated Factory of Spaghetti Sandwiches. T.C.—What carest I who thou art? Hence, get thee back. Cae.—Woe to the hand that detains the law-abiding Caesar. T.C.—Show thy chauffeur license.1' thou boastful, law-abiding Caesar. Cac.—(After fruitless10 search into extremities of his pockets). Mcthinks I did forget it and leave it at home. T.C.—Aha, thou law-abiding citizen, thou hast none. Come with me. (Blowrs whistle). (Recognizing Brutus). Cae.—Brutus, thou art my friend whom 1 love as none other. Rescue me from this saucy20 fellow, possessing an itching palm. 11. Formerly the policeman hard blow were made with a chih—not with a whistle. 12. Austin. 13. Lincoln Zephyr 14. Increment of emolument 15. Lock later replaced by Photo Electric Eye. 16. Traffic light 17. Light brc(a)d. 18. See Number 3. 19. Usually his pockets contained: apples, watermelon , quinces, crab apples, plums, etc. 20. Hi manner is said to have been chilly. [27]

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The Mirror through. See what a rent the envious cop did make in the gas tank of the lofty Ford, and as he plucked those cursed things away, mark how the gasoline of Caesar followed it! This was the most unkindcst gash of all, for the foot of Twentieth Street hill, while all the tank ran gas, the Great Ford stalled. Oh. what a stall was that, my countrymen ! Good friends, sweet friends, let me stir you up to a sudden generosity. They that have done this deed are traffic cops. What private reasons they have, alas, I do know; maybe for his money. 1 come not, friends, to steal away your wealth. 1 am no orator as Brutus is; I have neither wit nor words nor the power of touch to take away men's wallets.20 1 tell you that which you yourselves do know and bid your purses speak for you. 1 put a word in every stripe of Caesar’s uniform that should move the pennies of your purse to rise and pay. All—We'll pay. 1. Citizen—We'll go on his bond. 2. Citizen—No, pay the fine. 3. Citizen—Away then, come seek the jailer. Anthony—Enough, avaunt! But pass the hat. the sound of pennies27 will be as music to mine ears. Then we’ll away to Caesar. Written by English Class of Central High School. Christmas Number of Mirror. 1921 Modernized notes by Ben F. Heyward. Phillips High School. 26. Dough. 27. Tokens. [29]