Phillips High School - Mirror Yearbook (Birmingham, AL)

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THE PAST JULIUS CAESAR ACT I Scene I—The living room of a little green bungalow somewhere in Birmingham. About 8 a. m. Enter, Calpurnia and Caesar. Cal.—What mean you, Caesar, think you to walk forth1 ? You shall not stir out of your house today. Cae.—Caesar shall forth. Cal.—Thrice2 and again have 1 asked thee, yea, verily, have I implored thee to pay your chauffeur license.8 Know ye not that yesterday was the last day. The Ides of March arc come.4 Cae.—The traffic cops that threaten me ne’er looked but on my back; when they shall sec the face of Caesar,5 they shall vanish. Cal.—Peace ho, my lord. Last night 1 did have a most remarkable dream. I did sec most strange sights, I did hear most unusual sounds.0 Cae.—Did I not warn thee against a second goblet of Mrs. Brutus’ homebrew.7 Enter Dec ins. Caesar s office boy. Dec.—Caesar, all hail; good morrow, Caesar, 1 come to fetch thee to the office. Your boss wishes to discourse with you upon some very weighty8 matters. Cae.—Thou art come in a happy time to bear my greetings to the president of my company. Tell him I will not come today. Tell him I am out of gas.0 Cal.—Hie thyself hither, Dccius, say lie has a flat tire.10 Dec.—Let me know some cause lest I be laughed at when I tell them so. Cae.—Thou art mv friend, Dccius. Thou hast proven this to me many times. I hou hast turned many collectors and agents from my private office. 1 will confide my fears in thee. Dec.—Ah. and well you may, noble Caesar. 1. This docs not refer to the order of his walk, but is interpreted to mean, To take the air.” 2. Once plus twice. 3. Driver’s license. 4. The dead line for Caesar. 5. There is no contemporary evidence that Caesar's face had been lifted at this date; on the other hand, he had not been in a wreck or played football. 6. There was no anti-noise law in Caesar’s time. 7. This is unintelligible in the light of modern repeal. I probably a misprint and should read Rome-brcw.” 8. Probably at the instigation of the Bureau of Standards. 9. Costliest rejuvenating fluid. 10. Due to a sharp instrument. [26]

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T he Mirror THE GHOST WALKS Have you ever seen a ghost walk? I did. last summer. Some little boys in the neighborhood concocted a scheme whereby a ghost would float out of an alley. The ghost was a sheet on a coat hanger attached to a string. The first victims were two negro men, returning from work wearing heavy rubber boots. As they trudged along the street, one said. “How com’ us don't nebber see Joe no mo' ?” “He tolc me dat de don't nebber drive dere car in de day time cause de ain’t got no license: de jes' drives it at night,” replied the second darky. At this point one of them spied the ghost and shouted: “Look a dere. man! Com' on, pick 'em up! The last I saw of them they were galloping around the corner as fast as their heavy boots would allow. Our laughter had hardly subsided when two negro boys came down the alley in which the ghost lay in waiting. Their gay talk and carefree laughter could be heard before they came into view. However, it was not long before other sounds could be heard. Such sounds as: “Lawsv me, a ghost! and Glory be! The first negro had a head start on the second, but the former continued to run until he reached the protection of the street lamp. It was not long before a colored man and woman happened to pass along. These were conversing in loud tones about a friend of theirs. “Dat nigger, said the- woman, “is de laziest, good-for-nothingest piece of trash I’sc ebber seed. “Where do he stay now? asked the man. This question was not answered, and by this time the reason should be obvious. The colored gentleman retraced his steps so quickly that one could almost see the pavement roll up behind him. I’m sure the woman would have quickly followed his lead had not an automobile passed at this inopportune moment. The headlights revealed the .string to which the sheet was attached. The woman tried to tell the man this, but he replied: “No sir, I ain’t gwine dat way. 1 knows a ghost when I sees one! Com’ on here, nigger! And back they went in the same direction from which they had come. —Marjorie Dolvin [25]

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The Mirror Cac.—Calpurnia. here, my wife, stays me at home. She dreamt last night that she saw my statute disfigured by many cruel blows of the traffic cop’s billet,n and afterwards draped in becoming stripes while my Ford,12 my little roamin’ Ford, was overwhelmed by plebeians seeking souvenirs. She hath interpreted this dream as a warning, and on her bended knee hath begged that I remain at home today. Dec.—This dream is all amiss interpreted. It was a vision fair and fortunate. Your statue draped in stripes only represents your statue, hereafter draped in blue ribbons of glory. The downfall of vour little roamin’ Ford is only a forerunner of the wonderful Maxwell15 that shall be yours. Cae.—And well hath thou expounded it. Dec.—Oh. great Caesar, the corporation hath concluded to give this day a raise to mighty Caesar. Cae.—1 will go. How foolish arc Calpurnia’s fears. I am ashamed that I have yielded to them. Calpurnia. bring me my garage key.15 Exit. ACT II Scene I—About 9 A.M. on Ides of March, on Second Avenue, Caesar’s little Ford dodging in and out of traffic. Caesar speeds across the street when the sema-phorc16 indicates “Stop.” T.C.—Hence, back, you ignorant knave. Is this a holiday? What, know you not. being city bred,17 you ought not go against the sign of the semaphore? Get you back. Cac.—Know’st thou to whom thou speakest? 1 am Caesar, manager of the Consolidated Factory of Spaghetti Sandwiches. T.C.—What carest I who thou art? Hence, get thee back. Cae.—Woe to the hand that detains the law-abiding Caesar. T.C.—Show thy chauffeur license.1' thou boastful, law-abiding Caesar. Cac.—(After fruitless10 search into extremities of his pockets). Mcthinks I did forget it and leave it at home. T.C.—Aha, thou law-abiding citizen, thou hast none. Come with me. (Blowrs whistle). (Recognizing Brutus). Cae.—Brutus, thou art my friend whom 1 love as none other. Rescue me from this saucy20 fellow, possessing an itching palm. 11. Formerly the policeman hard blow were made with a chih—not with a whistle. 12. Austin. 13. Lincoln Zephyr 14. Increment of emolument 15. Lock later replaced by Photo Electric Eye. 16. Traffic light 17. Light brc(a)d. 18. See Number 3. 19. Usually his pockets contained: apples, watermelon , quinces, crab apples, plums, etc. 20. Hi manner is said to have been chilly. [27]