Phillips High School - Mirror Yearbook (Birmingham, AL)

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STATISTICS A Synthesis Friends. I hate to ask you to undergo any more pain after the excruciating week of exams just finished, but I'm going to ask that you devote your minds to the fullest to what will be said. It might be embarassing to ask many of you what a synthesis is. although doubtless some of you erudite scholar ., such as Mr. George Graham, our gifted editor, with his colossal assortment of spiel and jargon, could afford to sneer over so elementary a word, and so I ni going to attempt to dispense the shadows Do you know what an analysis is? “A tearing down to set what a thing is made of. Well, a synthesis isn't that. Its just the opposite. A synthesis is a putting together, a combination to form a compound, a new whole. You arc a part of a bewildering celestial synthesis. Your galaxy, the Milk Way system, is perhaps forty or fifty times greater than the average extragalactic nebula: it’s an immense spiral cone some 200.IHKI light years in diameter, and a light year is about six million, million milt's. Ah, yes. there’s plenty of room for our dreamy-eyed star gazers and stars, too. But doesn’t it make you feel just too tremendous when you consider your wretched little five and a half foot body in a universe some one quintillion two hundred quadrillion miles wide. On our planet, old Mother Earth, there's a synthesis, insignificant, it would seem, hut to us of vital importance, the synthesis of life, for consider what you'd he if it were not tor life. When 1 choose to discuss life, I was purposely choosing something of which I knew nothing, because I knew I wouldn’t be hampered by facts. What is this thing, life, composed of? Simply this—man, whom Shakespeare calls the paragon of animals, and woman, the riddle of the universe, for neither she nor anyone else knows what she wants. Oh. what queer creatures arc these human beings. How quaint it is that some of them discolor their hair and eyebrows and beards witlt bright henna dyes as do Persian Mohammedans or besmear their natural youthful beauty with rouge ami lipstick as do modern misses, especially since forty out of every thousand of their intended victims are color Mind. And think of what masterpieces of art we might find if some of that astounding talent for painting were devoted to more worthy aims. Isn’t it just inconceivable that Buddhist monks often seal themselves up in tiny huts, with only a small opening for food, to spend the re t of their lives in cherub contemplation.” Isn’t it stupifying that the Siamese howl with glee when their boxers fighting with only two rules (no biting or kicking a man when he's down) kill each other with reckless abandon. Why. it's almost as brutal as football, think of it. nd aren’t you amazed to learn that that very lniy sitting by you has a neck built fust like i i iraffe’s' Yes. that's right, both with seven vertebrae. Why. that may account for his beastly grades' Isn’t it simply too quaint that these Americans go raving wild over a pop-eyed comedian, who goes Pfft. Pfft, Pfft. or an adventurous Baron who wants to know. Vas you dcre. Sharlic. and goes into spasms of grief liccau.se a Swedish actress tank you go home now. Oh, they’re clever folks, these Americans. Yes. friends. I’m inclined to believe that N’orotan Thomas was right when hr said, It’s a crazy world we're living in. In the I’nitcd States, among all these strange people there is a singularly distinguished little group, containing many youngsters of extraordinary talent, and. friends, we’re it. us. the graduating class of J. II. Phillips High School. Maybe you didn’t know vc were so worthy a group. I guess I’ll have to tell you how good we are, to tell you some things about us you didn't realize. In the first place, we have a unique president. He’s the heaviest in history, and yet he’s a sharp man, in fact, a Speir. Then, we have the makings of a bread factory in our midst, a Miller and a Baker. Maybe

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The difficulties that we a- individuals must face are more immediate, but far more serious arc those we shall face collectively as we attempt to play our part in the affairs of otir distracted nation. Vet even this picture is not without its exciting promise. Of course there have been bank failures, failures in key business concerns, and even the failure of some schools to remain oj en. hut let us not find in these, causes only for discouragement. Let us remember that tearing down the old is the first step of rebuilding. This is a world of adjustments. As our orator has just | ointcd out, there arc changes which must l c made social ly. economically, politically, and educationally. There is a need for a new application of our religion. Formerly men thought of religious and moral matters as strictly personal, hut industrialism has depersonalized society and intellectualism has depersonalized the universe. Under these conditions there is need for new thinking: wisdom and sanity can direct man in his guidance of the spiritual and mechanical world. Perhaps one of the most essential changes needed is a new mastery of the machine. Some people think that machines arc the sole cause of the depression. None of these, however, would go hack to the time when one had to hew logs to build a house, or when a trip across the continent required several months. Time and tabor saving devices have done much for the world and will do much more when people learn to use the time and labor they save. Mr. Hendrick Van Loon said in a recent article. “We are not suffering from an overproduction of material goods on account of machines, but from the underproduction of good, clear, honest thinking Anti now, my class mates, we have come to the time oi parting, but as we have learned from Pros!. “Men work together whether they work together or apart. There is work to be done and. though apart, we shall join hands and spirits in the task. As we do. let us always remember our Class Motto at Phillips—-“Mms ucqua in arduis.” ROSS C. St'KIK. Class President Winners or the Monogram

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they can help the president put on some weight. He needs it so. poor fellow. May l c you didn't know that we have an outstanding cyclist among us. It is estimated that Jimmy Porter Has gone 831 light years hack and forth to and front school on his trusty vehicle during his lengthy sojourn at I . II. S. After much wheedling and pleading, we have at last gotten a statement from otir class beauties. Handsome Hutchins, our star guard, admits that his looks are inherited, while Beautiful Bowman confesses that hers are self made. We couldn't get Joe Price to explain himself. and so he remains something of a puzzle, for prices always fluctuate, you know. But he is also a record breaker, because It is utterly beyond estimation how many questions he has asked during his stay at Phillips. And such questions like. “Would there he any sound it there were no one to hear it? And such musical talent as we have in this amazing class. Doesn’t our squealing—pardon me—pealing soprano. Margaret McQueen, -imply make yottr blood coagulate And have yon noticed our pianists? Don’t their fingers just oscillate? And such men as we do produce! It is estimated that one of our boys has had more dates with one girl than any other in history, and this is especially disturbing when you consider that lie’s only a Kidd. Oh. dear. I wonder where Sara Lucy is now. Have you ever considered our violinist? It is said that if he had lived during the time of King Arthur he would undoubtedly have been a Knight, one of the dark knights, you know. Coming to the always present, you even see the Laws of Nature demonstrated in in our class. Look at Tom Barr. Isn’t his inertia titanic? And doesn’t this strange magnetic attraction which draws our hefty heroes around our coy critics just fill you with stupefaction. They say that radium and a few other elements to a lesser degree are the only things which produce heat without combustion, the old philosopher's lamp idea, you know, but I still believe that isn’t so. fur I've felt my face simmer under the scorching glances of some of our teachers, and have you ever seen Andy Wallace’s trembling cars burst? They say the Law of Use and Disuse gave man his brain with its super-developed cerebrum and beasts their brains with super-cereMIum. Prom some exam grades seen lately, it appears that many of our eerel ra could endure a little developing. So I suggest these mental calis-themics. Find the distance in par ecs to Autarcs. our largest star, a great red sun of the first magnitude, if a parsec i the distance at which the parallax of star is one second of an arc. If you can do that one. 1 think even the teachers will l e willing to let you graduate. Yes. friends, we’re graduating, we’re going out into the great synthesis. Life, of which 1 hope that I have proved that we’re such an important part. We are going out Into a cruel, cruel world, where there aren’t any parents to direct us. Think of it! Your own boss! Whoopee! Friends. ,Ilc ancient Athenians had a quaint way of expressing approval of a speaker by showering him with garments of all sizes and descriptions. Once a famous speaker was smothered to death by the deluge of clothing and we certainly don’t want any- thing like that to happen today. And so when I consider that terrifying possibility 1 suppose I’ll just say, “Farewell, comrades.” R. WiStsTox RonfiRTS, Jr.. Class Statistician.