Philadelphia High School for Girls - Milestone Yearbook (Philadelphia, PA)

Page 25 text:

Record Number 23 Rose L. Friedman, Rebecca Weinberg, Ida VVeiss, and Anna Disney, had all become successful stenographers. Martha Schroeder had been sent to South America to represent a Starville business house that dealt in cocoanuts. By this time we had reached the theatre and, to our great disappointment, found that we were too late for the performance. My guide told me of the wonderful art exhibition now in full swing. At the Art Academy, we found an admiring throng gazing in awe at Moonshine, the prize picture, painted by Harriet Shilliday. Elsie Wilson and Betty Bender were also exhibitors. Eleanor VVignall was proudly telling the people who would listen Mathilde Touhseant one of the admir ing throngf fainted from sheer rapture oxer to her, that she had held Betty Bender's paints. Moonshine. We followed her to the Killern F 'RST PR' Z E Hospital to see that she was properly restored. V fff' fy' v There we found that she would be in very aff, rglx 5 ' V g capable hands indeed. Ella May Eastwick, VII? X' nj Pearl Katz, Eleanor Twohig, and Helen Yohn S5 , fj1:'j,,f1,Q: .- were nurses. Grace Rinard, they said, was HSUCH EXP RGSSIONV1 their star patient. Miriam Britsch, Frances Q m'WoN,,eRFU,-.1 Uprichard, and Lillian Vlfright were bacteri- 9 MARvcL0uS ologists and as a side-line dissected hearts to Sven T CCH N nque' find out if Crushitis left permanent scars on that organ. Fannie Lasensky, Mildred Baxter, and Eda Myers were the sure geons and house physicians. They boasted that but 856 of every 10 people they doctored succumbed. Edith McKeith was an eminent brain specialist. She held a special clinic for children who professed to be unduly fond of Latin. Dr. McKeith diagnosed such cases as enlarged growth of the Latinoidus, an organ situated ini the northeast corner of the southwest Spindifiex-Maximus. Near the Killem Hospital ffor obvious reasonsj, Mildred Quinn taught the gentle, soothing art of boxing, to refined young ladies. Elizabeth Reamer and Esther Rubin had graduated, after many battles. from mere pupils to qualified assistants. Annie Jessup, Sarah Palm, and Edith Napier, scientists and' inventors, had were due, for which service they received the undying love of thousands of poor, Evelyn Weinstein, Margaret Stevenson, and Lillian V elenchik, who had all Bauzenberger, Dorothy Becker, and Cecelia Field to keep them from crushing Equally eloquent, inspired. and determined with Edith. a veritable Lady Burke, Annie Jessup, Sarah Palm and Edith Napier, scientists and inventors, had invented a machine that automatically wrote-up note books the night before they were due, for which service they received the undying love of thousands of poor, oppressed high school students. They also invented an instrument that detected whether a teacher meant playfully to spring a test on one. They were working on a creaseless, soilless middy for the exclusive use of high school girls. Evelyn Weinstein, Margaret Stevenson and Lillian Velenchik, who had all grown alarminrgly thin, gave a popular course in How to Reduce in One Month Without D'ieti1'zg or Exercise. So dense were the crowds that surrounded the

Page 24 text:

22 The Torch Vivian F enstermacher kept a lunch room, famous for the puzzle as to whether the steak were the plank, or the plank the steak, in planked steak, since both were of equal density. Margaret suggested that we go to see the whirlwind success, a play called How? Say'st Thou Not Thus ? written by the illustrious Zena Hunter. The play was given at the Mae Helfcnstein Theatre. Gertrude Smith, the most bril- liant actress in existence, took the part of the pathetic child, Sally the Snubbedf' Eva Bergendoff, Gertrude Shaw, Prentiss Richardson and Grayce Summers made up the rest of the cast. Jessie Gotwals, Rhoda Malany, Ida Miller and Geraldine Zimmerman were shining lights of the screen. Anna Brownder and Gertrude Eddelson, known as the T ick-Tack-Toe-Twins, had recently become renounced ballet dancers. Grace Roberts had also answered the call of the footlights, but the manager had become fascinated by thejdainty way she chewed gum and had speedily made her Mrs. Manager. That all-important informant, a newspaper, the Srarwille Candle, was edited by the well known editor and novelist, Kathryn Kramer. On her efficient staff were Eleanore Gerhard, Sarah Auerbach, cartoonists 3 Helen Straway and Audrey Townsend, reporters. The Starvillc Candle announced that last night with Dorothy Diehl and Isabel Radcliffe, had turned missionary, reciting inspiring Among those present were the following distinguished members of the aristocratic circle: Adeline Myers, Helen Bryson, Ruth Perry, Lillian Stockes, Mary Purring- ton and Dorothy Raulerson, all of whom were dressed 'up to the hour' in the 'height of elegancef Helen Pariser, Isabel Osmun and Dorothy Powell were prevented from attending because of the exciting pogo-stick, cross-country race in which they are taking an active part. Martha Zuber and Bertha Leibfried gave, daily lectures on the VVoman's Page on Why We Ought to NValk VVhen XfVe Don't VVant to Ride. An exciting article told the adventures of the famous globe-trotter, Helen MacCardle, who had just recently returned from the wilds of Africa. There she saw the most astonishing sight she had ever beheld,-that of Anna Sharon, who with Dorothy Diehl and Isabel Radcliff, had turned missionary, reciting inspiring poetry to a band of abashed savages, gaily decked-out for the occasion in paint and bear-skins. Miss MacCardle did not think by the expression of the faces of the poor dear heathensf' that they appreciated Miss Sharon's efforts to lill their souls with beauty. Edna Fry, Grace Adourian and Louise Marsden were declared to be the best literary critics of the day. In the Personals, always a source of great interest, the Wegeten.quick-Ubet Detective Agency, declared that it could Find where stray husband: spent their time and money. Its confidential agents were Elizabeth Hutchinson, Margaret Kerr, Miriam Kennedy and Bernice Alexander. Fanny Goldberg, Judith Gorden, Frances Horwald, Evelyn Thompson and Mildred Jacobson, all proclaimed themselves to be painless dentists. They admitted proudly that only 90 per cent of their patients ever felt any pain. Bardenheur 81 Greenfield-Bankers and Brokers-offered to break you confi- dentially and at a very low rate. If you wished to be broke, you were to consult Ida Davidson, Beatrice Tomkinson, Anna Putt or Edith Brennecky, oliicial agents of the company.

Page 26 text:

24 The Torch ' i i house in their efforts to enroll for the course, that it took all the efforts of Mary Bauzenberger, Dorothy Becker and Cecelia Field to keep them from crushing each other. We had only a few hours' time left, so we went to hear the greatest debate of the ages between two famous lawyers, Edith Diamond and Ruth Buroughs. The momentous question to be settled once and for all time was: Are Cater- pillars Nasty Things ? Muriel French was to be the judge. With bursts of eloquence and indignant protest and fiery enthusiasm, Ruth argued the negative. Equally eloquent, inspired and determined was Edith, a veritable Lady Burke, who, with ringing words, made it perfectly clear that caterpillars were indeed an intolerable nuisance and, by jingof' jolly well nasty things. Verily, they tickleth when they crawleth down one's back. As we made our way back to where. I had parked my cloudster,-for it was now high time we were Z,-:gs leaving-we met Geraldine McClintock, looking per- 4525353 fectly angelic, playing nurse to one of Dorothy Morti- miie 5 G07 more's offsprings while his Mamma was doing her t 'Q' shopping. 5 ' Come and I'll let you peep at someone you 3 haven't seen yetg we have only a moment, and Mar-- garet separated a thick hedge. I saw, among gorgeous Bowers and woody nooks, Angeline Christaldi, gazing I dreamily into space as she walked about courting the ' Muse of Poetry. Catherine Gantz, her ever-faithful iif'Fi g5i ' shadow, dogged her footsteps, writing furiously the gems that fell from Angel's inspired lips. Mar- THAT CATQRPQLLARS garet shook my shoulder to remind me that we really ARC A JO'-U NUISANCC5' must be going and, as it was near dinner time, I hop- ped into my cloudster and went home. EVA ZEITLIN. P. S. C by her classmatesj-Eva Zeitlin, the faithful recorder of this chronicle, was so thrilled by her visit to Starville that she decided to settle there permanently. We send to the Earth people this Radiogram to state that Starville and its Inhabi- tants, the greatest history of the age, written by the eminent historian, Eva Zeitlin, has just been published. Copies of the same are obtainable from the author for 1,000,000 marc-rubles.