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Page 175 text:
Page 174 text:
Don: "I heard a good gag last night."
Nabors: "Fine. Let’s write a show."
Dr. Maxwell: "What is your opinion of the Einstein theory?"
Ruth Donner: "I think the guy that shot him is hiding out somewhere in New York. That's just what I think."
Luttman: "May I please borrow your tie?"
Littrell: "Why the formality?"
Luttman: "Can’t find it."
"I’m fed up on that." said the baby pointing to the high chair.
Two more dashing blondes—Verlc Stone.
Padlocked clothes pins for the dorm line Eloise Noa.
An alarm clock—Anne Jensen.
More extra curricular activities—Virginia McNeal.
A moustache—Bill Knapp.
A spare moment—Ralph Carson.
A bench far from a campus light—The Dorm Girls.
A genteel line of apology for my illness—Bob Pate.
An argument—Dr. King.
My reputation back—Eva Kimsey.
A young man of average intelligence to run the Peruvian for next year. Someone who can pass about 16 hours of pipe courses and whose heart will stand any number of sleeping powders—The Faculty.
COLLITCH DAFFY-NITIONS A college dance A necking party made legitimate by an orchestra.
Final week—Students vs. Faculty.
Operetta—Yodeling done in three movements.
Cynic—A man who has never stepped out with anything but a co-ed and who claims all women are alike.
A parasite— A person who goes through a revolving door without pushing. A genius— A man who can rewrite a collegiate joke and have it accepted for the annua) publication.
ADVERTISEMENT Why did she leave so soon? How could Reeny be such a meanie? The inevitable has happened—my best friend told me. O joy! I’m perilously happv since gurgling McDOUGAL’S MOUTHWASH.
I -5 I
Page 176 text:
(A Play in some acts)
Scene: At the gates of Heaven. St. Peter is seated behind a high table. Gabriel stands at his right.
St. Peter (rapping with gavel): "What business is on dock for today?"
Gabriel: "Five men to come before you. your honor."
St- Peter: "Where are they from?"
Gabriel: "Peru State Teachers College."
.Sr. Peter: "How does it happen that they all died at once7"
Gabriel: "They spent one too many week ends in Peru."
St. Peter: "Very well, show them in."
i Knter Tylf.r. Steck. Kahn. Dr. Brown, and Maxwell)
St. Peter (to Tyler): "Who are you?"
Tyler: "Professor of Journalism at Peru and . . ."
St. Peter: Never mind! Is it true that you had the reputation of being the laziest professor
in the institution?"
Tyler: "I have heard rumors to that effect.”
St. Peter: "Yes. so have I. It is also true that your students in News always become efficient in working cross-word puzzles?'
Tyler: "I don't include cross-word puzzles in my course. But they certainly don't become efficient in reporting the news."
St. Peter: "Oh. of course not. your students work on puzzles during your lectures."
Tyler: "Is there any chance for me to get through the gate?"
St. Peter: "About the same chance as a student's getting an excuse from class for oversleeping. Next?"
(Stp.ck steps up)
St. Peter: And who might you be?"
Steck: I might be an opera singer but I'm really only a Music Professor."
St. Peter: "Oh. yes. Very fond of singing in chapel and giving speeches about rc'ieving the depression aren’t you."
Steck: "Well. yes. I’m rather proud of those achievements."
St. Peter: You oughtn't to be. You remind me very much of a band."
Steck: "Why is that, your honor."
St. Peter: "Well, for three reasons. In the first place you're always at the head of some
parade: in the second place you’re always dressed in some trick costume: and in the third
place you always make enough noise so that everyone can hear you. All right, the next
(Kaiin is next)
St. Peter: You're Professor of History. I believe? Am I right in saying that you are also
Kahn: "No sir. I never was an actor."
St. Peter: "That seems strange. One of your students said you put on some real shows in
your classes. I received the impression that you were quite an acrobat."
Kalin: "Oh no. your honor. I never do anything more violent than jump over chairs and climb on top of the radiators to illustrate my point."
St. Peter: That will do. Next."
I'm dynamic, dazzling, dyspeptic, dizzy, delightful, deliriously duped. You too can be drenched with popularity and dates. Lise TOLLY TOOTHPASTE for TIDY TEETH.
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