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Page 196 text:
FAMOUS LAST WORDS
I didn't know convocation attendance was required, Mrs. Dunning.
Will you please give me my grade for this semester, Dr. Vaughan?
Thanks for the “A” you gave me, professor.
May I have late leave for the dance at Auburn—Mrs. Marsh?
I’m going to make an announcement in Chapel, Friday, Miss Gockley.
Just give me the key, Mrs. Dunning; then I won’t have to bother you.
Ed, you surely ought to be proud of yourself, being editor of that book. Wish that was all 1 had to do.
1 refuse to take part in this Freshman initiation.
Mr. Sleezer, do you believe in prohibition?
Pauline, what would happen if I turned all the lights out?
Now, when I was teaching in—
No, I didn’t sign out; 1 thought this was open night.
Deany, old boy, how about an excuse front my 3:30, so I can go home?
President Pate, I’d like to sell you a copy of our new magazine.
I think all of the boys ought to get Tuxedos for the big dance.
I'd like to get permission to show our latest line of sport suits which are especially designed for hitch-hikers.
Dick, did I get a letter this morning?
Miss Tear, will you please repeat the statement you made a moment ago? It's quicker to cut right across the campus.
Mr. Clements, you don’t seem to realize what a good teacher I am.
Mr. Graf, you have gained a lot since I last saw you.
Dr. Brown, can I get 8 hours of high school work transferred without a
Page 195 text:
Wanted—A non-sleep course in Education.
For sale—Lucille’s and my toothbrush.—Donna Jane.
Needed—A course in boxing.— Dr. Brown.
Found—An appetite. Give it away free.—Miss Hendrick.
Discovered—An empty seat at the Athletic field.—Harvey C.
Wanted—Some one to love me.— Ben G.
Wanted—Girls who get in on time.—Mrs. D.
Needed—S o in e ambition. — Brock.
Lost—One thin dime—my last one.—Grace R.
He who studies—will be sleepy.
He who borrows — will have plenty—To pay back.
He who rips—will have to sew— Unless your roommate will do it lor you.
He who skips chapel—will have a date with the dean.
He who sleeps in class—will be so much ahead.
He who worked; earned—Of him we have not heard.
He who smokes—will keep on smoking.
AN IDEAL COLLEGE
Breakfast—Served in bed—1) o’clock.
Classes—None till 10:30.
Chapel—10:30 to 11 (Not compulsory).
Float Period—11 to 12:30. No assignments to get.
Meals—Served when hungry. Anything you want.
Every girl have a key to her rooming house.
No afternoon classes—excepting Campustry. (Lab at night.)
TAKE MY ADVICE
1. Never trust a blonde.
2. Give an Irishman whole bricks, not whole wheat.
3. Make your date early for the free events.
4. Never date room-mates, unless you have two good lines.
5. Don’t take wooden nickels Irom strangers. Be sure they are real ones.
6. If you must swipe water-mellons, be sure they are good ones.
SUGGESTIONS FOR NEXT YEAR
Open night, till 12, 6 times a week—All night, the last night.
Permanent excuses be issued.
Freshmen swim Missouri River three times for initiation.
Chapel will be optional.
A six-foot campus fence to keep off trespassers.
A provision for naturalizing the freshmen.
Night watchman wear a cow-l ell.
Street car service be installed.
Tea parties be held in the library.
Faculty meetings open to students.
No final exams for seniors.
Page 197 text:
Mary Alice: Will your people be surprised when they hear you arc graduating?
Bill Okrent: No, they’ve been expecting it for several years.
Bob M.: I sleep like a log.
Fritz: With a saw going through it.
Prof.: Where is your book?
Student: At home.
Prof.: That’s a good place to keep it. I’d wrap it up so it won’t get dusty.
One consolation our professors have; they don’t have to sit up late at night making out their income tax reports.
Heard while waiting to get into dormitory dining room:
"Quit pushing, can’t yer?”
"I’m not pushing; I only sighed.”
What would you do if someone took your Gall-owav? (Answer): I’d raise Cain.
Question: What is the difference between a straight, curved, and
Student’s answer: A straight line is the quickest way between two points, while a broken line is still farther.
COME TO THE
BETTER SHOWS FOR THE MONEY THAN YOU’LL SEE ANYWHERE
Wm. S. Whitfield Manager
C. G. KINGSOLVER
Teacher: There are five in this class who really study.
The “Peruvian” is virtually a “Memory Book”—the ones who advertise arc part of those memories. I.ct us all remember our short acquaintance as a part of our sacred memories.
Student: Who are the other
Missouri: May I have a date for the play Friday night?
“IT PAYS 'IX) LOOK WELL”
Rice and Thomas
Helen F.: I have no objections, if you can find someone who will give you one.
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