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Page 195 text:
Wanted—A non-sleep course in Education.
For sale—Lucille’s and my toothbrush.—Donna Jane.
Needed—A course in boxing.— Dr. Brown.
Found—An appetite. Give it away free.—Miss Hendrick.
Discovered—An empty seat at the Athletic field.—Harvey C.
Wanted—Some one to love me.— Ben G.
Wanted—Girls who get in on time.—Mrs. D.
Needed—S o in e ambition. — Brock.
Lost—One thin dime—my last one.—Grace R.
He who studies—will be sleepy.
He who borrows — will have plenty—To pay back.
He who rips—will have to sew— Unless your roommate will do it lor you.
He who skips chapel—will have a date with the dean.
He who sleeps in class—will be so much ahead.
He who worked; earned—Of him we have not heard.
He who smokes—will keep on smoking.
AN IDEAL COLLEGE
Breakfast—Served in bed—1) o’clock.
Classes—None till 10:30.
Chapel—10:30 to 11 (Not compulsory).
Float Period—11 to 12:30. No assignments to get.
Meals—Served when hungry. Anything you want.
Every girl have a key to her rooming house.
No afternoon classes—excepting Campustry. (Lab at night.)
TAKE MY ADVICE
1. Never trust a blonde.
2. Give an Irishman whole bricks, not whole wheat.
3. Make your date early for the free events.
4. Never date room-mates, unless you have two good lines.
5. Don’t take wooden nickels Irom strangers. Be sure they are real ones.
6. If you must swipe water-mellons, be sure they are good ones.
SUGGESTIONS FOR NEXT YEAR
Open night, till 12, 6 times a week—All night, the last night.
Permanent excuses be issued.
Freshmen swim Missouri River three times for initiation.
Chapel will be optional.
A six-foot campus fence to keep off trespassers.
A provision for naturalizing the freshmen.
Night watchman wear a cow-l ell.
Street car service be installed.
Tea parties be held in the library.
Faculty meetings open to students.
No final exams for seniors.
Page 194 text:
v £ OvS31
TRAVELERS HOTEL and CAFE
Auburn's Steak House
Good Coffee Sandwiches, Any Style
PA RTIES—B ANQU ETS Rooms—All New; All Modern
R. H. ROBINSON, Proprietor
Ed. B.: If looks could kill a person, I’d assassinate you with a glance. Eloise: If looks could kill, it would be suicide for you to look in a glass.
Prof.; Where is the cerebellum?
Ambitious Student: Why—the cerebellum—O! I know now! Sarah Bellum is the lady who invented the nervous system.
SEVEN GOOD REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD SERVE
It has a high food value.
It contains the vitamines necessary for growth and health.
It is easier to digest than pastries and other rich desserts.
It is cheaper than most desserts.
It lessens the labor of the housewife.
It is liked by all the family.
It is attractive to look at and good to cat.
Give It To Your Family Often!
GREENE’S ICE CREAM FACTORY
NEBRASKA CITY, NEBRASKA Phone 160
Page 196 text:
FAMOUS LAST WORDS
I didn't know convocation attendance was required, Mrs. Dunning.
Will you please give me my grade for this semester, Dr. Vaughan?
Thanks for the “A” you gave me, professor.
May I have late leave for the dance at Auburn—Mrs. Marsh?
I’m going to make an announcement in Chapel, Friday, Miss Gockley.
Just give me the key, Mrs. Dunning; then I won’t have to bother you.
Ed, you surely ought to be proud of yourself, being editor of that book. Wish that was all 1 had to do.
1 refuse to take part in this Freshman initiation.
Mr. Sleezer, do you believe in prohibition?
Pauline, what would happen if I turned all the lights out?
Now, when I was teaching in—
No, I didn’t sign out; 1 thought this was open night.
Deany, old boy, how about an excuse front my 3:30, so I can go home?
President Pate, I’d like to sell you a copy of our new magazine.
I think all of the boys ought to get Tuxedos for the big dance.
I'd like to get permission to show our latest line of sport suits which are especially designed for hitch-hikers.
Dick, did I get a letter this morning?
Miss Tear, will you please repeat the statement you made a moment ago? It's quicker to cut right across the campus.
Mr. Clements, you don’t seem to realize what a good teacher I am.
Mr. Graf, you have gained a lot since I last saw you.
Dr. Brown, can I get 8 hours of high school work transferred without a
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