Peru State College - Peruvian Yearbook (Peru, NE)

 - Class of 1923

Page 175 of 196

 

Peru State College - Peruvian Yearbook (Peru, NE) online yearbook collection, 1923 Edition, Page 175 of 196
Page 175 of 196



Peru State College - Peruvian Yearbook (Peru, NE) online yearbook collection, 1923 Edition, Page 174
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Peru State College - Peruvian Yearbook (Peru, NE) online yearbook collection, 1923 Edition, Page 176
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Page 175 text:

Advertising THE HOME BAKERY Home Made Bread and Pastry Ice Cream Confectionery F. J. GILBERT, Proprietor Dry Cleaning, Pressing, Remodeling New Suits Made to Order ARTISTIC CUSTOM TAILORING John A. CEJKA Peru Phone 62 Nebraska KING’S BARBER SHOP Modern Equipment Clean, Sanitary—Worl{ First Class Bath in Connection Your Patronage Solicited C. G. Kingsolver, Prop. D. D. STONECYPHER Physician Phones 60, 35 Peru DR. L. B. SHREVE Dentist Peru Nebraska Phone 27 One Hundred Fifty‘nine

Page 174 text:

Advertising THE SCHOOL SUPPLY STORE STATIONERY ------ BOOKS Toilet Articles Victrolas - Records —Candies— BARNES PHARMACY Peru : : : Nebraska SEE YOCK MICHEL For DRAY and BAGGAGE DELIVERY TAXI and LIVERY Phone 2 Peru Nebraska THE MARDIS STORE Serving The Students And People Of Peru Since 1885 You Will Always Find Quality Foods Reasonable Prices You Will Always Receive Courteous Treatment Prompt and Efficient Service Thank You THE MARDIS STORE One Hundred Fifty-eight



Page 176 text:

11 inniir HOW '10 ACT AT A BANQUET—IN THREE COMPLETE LESSONS BY Tuna Fish, president of the Nail Hole Manufacturing Company Ltd. INTRODUCTION After two torturous attendances at the Annual Freshman-Sophomore Banquet and observing the behavior of our hosts, I feel that there should he something done to relieve their deplorable actions. As a result I have prepared a concise, clear and complete course on Banqueting in three parts; of course, my gentle readers, you must expect to fill in, but no doubt you can, as that is what most people think a banquet is for. LESSON ONE The gentleman should grasp his lady friend around the neck and dance A La Rudolph Vaselino into the Banquet Room. The partners should then give a leap for the nearest chair. This will cause many to remark of their wonderful athletic ability. After bowing they should be seated and it is the gentleman’s chance of a life time to show his ability as a baseball pitcher by grasping a grape-fruit around the equator and twirling it the length of the table. If it hits the toastmaster in the face, the other banqueters should show their appreciation by thunderous applause. This may seem rather gentle to many of my readers, but one can not be too careful in society. LESSON TWO How to cover slight mistakes: 1. If one should drop a quarter of a ham on the table he should toss it gaily across the room. This will cause much merriment as the people will appreciate such ready wit. 2. If one should accidentally drop his bread butter side down on his partner's dress, he should immediately grasp the flower bowl and deposit the water on the lady so as to remove the grease stain. This is really only a small matter but one that many people will appreciate the importance of. 3. A mistake which is often made by people who do not attend more than three or four banquets a year is the failure to help the toastmaster. An example of very quick thinking was observed last year at the banquet of the Amalgamated Fly Paper Trust at which time the toastmaster came near of having an epileptic fit. One young man observed the impending calamity and at once drew a checker board on the table cloth and began to play checkers. The cheering from the immediate onlookers brought all the rest flocking to that portion of the room, and the toastmaster was taken to the ice box without being observed and causing a panic. LESSON THREE How to profit at a Banquet: One should never attend a banquet without the intention of profiting by the terrible experience. 'Flic best way to profit and help out other people who arc apt to be invited to the next banquet is to remove the silverware. The method I have found which surpasses all others is to give hokus pokus demonstrations with the silverware, making all the silverware at your table disappear and then yelling "Fire". This is a rather hazardous thing to do as you and your friend might be run over bv the stampeding crowds, but everyone will forget alwiut the silverware. —THANK YOU— One Hundred Sirly

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