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Page 217 text:
IN THE LABORATORY
“Professor, where can I get an inverted test tube?”
To kill a butterfly you pinch its thorax.
Blood-vessels arc veins, arteries and artilleries.
Teacher—Mary, do you know what spunk is?
Mary—Why, when you spank me, then I’m spunk.
• j jt
Miss Moody (teaching music)—Now, children, let’s sing this song. What is the time?
Pupil (looking at watch)—5 minutes to 11.
AT THE ROWAN HOUSE
Lewis—Black, if you don’t straighten up I'll report you to your father.
Black—Oh, you don’t know his name. I just adopted him.
dt d cjt
’Tis midnight and the setting sun Is slowly rising in the west;
The rapid rivers slowly run.
The frog is on his downy nest;
The pensive goat and sportive cow Hilarious leap from bough to bough.
Uprising, sec the fitful lark ’
Unfold his pinions to the stream;
The pensive watchdog's mellow bark O’crshadcs yon cottage like a dream;
The playful duck and warbling bee Hop gaily on from tree to tree.
d d d
It has been suggested that Mr. Helms ought to he recommended as a German teacher as his private pupil seems to he progressing nicely.
(Ask Bessie Lee per (leapcr) why she is never late anywhere.)
Two hundred hirtern
Page 216 text:
Mow pleasant on a slippery day To conic down College Hill!
How thoroughly delightful To take a sudden spill!
1 low sweet and how enchanting—
A pleasure almost pain—
To hear some fellow shouting “First down! Two feet to gain!”
Little Jack Horner Sat in a corner In order to take an exam;
He passed it of course,
With the aid of a horse.
And said, "What a good hoy I am.”
I have a little hobby horse,
I keep him on my table;
He’s better eared for there, of course.
Than lie would be in a stable.”
I had a little pony, and it was dapple gray,
I loaned it to a lady on examination day.
She wore him, she tore him, she threw him on the floor,
111 never lend my horse again, henceforth forever more.
HEARD IN GERMAN CLASS
ITcrr Lincoln—Die Kuh ist fiber die fence ge-jumped.
Herr Maxy—Damit, shut cr das Fenstcr.
Professor W hitcnack—Mr. Maxey, that is the best translation you ever made.
There was a man named Skinner Who ate onions fried for dinner.
And it made his breath so very, very strong It could do the work of twenty And have energy left a plenty To pull a train of cars a half mile long.
Love is such a funny thing.
Acts just like a lizard,
Curls its tail over its back And creeps into your gizzard.
Two hundred twelve
Page 218 text:
H. M. Berkey, in study of “'The Laboratory” by Browning—“Pauline must have been much larger than Elise, because it says that thirty minutes would be required to kill her, while it would take only a moment for the poison to have the same effect on Elise.”
A banker by trade,
An enticcr of maids Who attain great faculty fame;
J Ic’s attained much renown In this little school town As a faculty escort, by name.
He’s accompanied them all,
Both great and small,
Tho oft-times lie’s not worthy:
His name's Morris Good,
Von have seen if you would,
He now goes with our Miss Murphy.
WHEN YOU’VE NOTHING ELSE TO DO
When you've nothing else to do.
Spend some time in old Peru Visiting old friends you have known,
Who from your memory have not flown.
Sweet it is sometime to see
The same old friends that used to be:
Then those joys seem doubly true,
When renewed in old Peru.
«yfc ■ jt
When you've thoroughly racked your brain.
Searching for intellectual gain.
Take a stroll down Lover's Lane.
If you’d have those thoughts of old,
Seem their worth in purest gold,
Get up courage: call her name:
Take a stroll down Lover’s Lane.
i':co hundred fourteen
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