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Page 215 text:
Mabel lias a little man.
His name of course you know.
And every place that Mabel goes Benny is sure to go.
He followed her to church one night,
And sat up in her pew;
Now wasn't that a funny thing For Benny B. to do.
Jenkins—My practice teaching has been entirely unconnected with the Mode! School and Critic Teachers.
Lewis—You ought to wear trousers with their knees out the rest of your life. Jenkins—Why such a penalty?
Lewis—Penalty? A blessing. You should be so thankful that you would keep your trouser knees worn out through kneeling and offering continuous thanks for such a deliverance.
Two hundred eleven
Page 214 text:
THE TYPICAL STUDENT
As in our town there always was A deep regard for knowledge,
1 said to Pa, one summer’s day,
"I want to go to college.
“Tis well my son,” he answered me;
“What college would you have it he?”
“Father,” 1 said, “to choose the best I’ve studied long and true:
And in the land, from end to end,
There’s none like old Peru."
“Your choice is wise, my son,” he said,
“For of that school I've often read.”
To Peru then I came my way To get this store of learning.
And incidentally here to spend The money Pa was earning.
My father’s parting word to me Was: “Do your part where'er you he.”
I entered in the college then And joined the Freshman class:
At first f studied hard and long.
Resolving high to pass.
“You're doing well, “my father wrote.
“Tis something I am glad to note."
Next year I came to school again To he a Sophomore And social functions were to me As much as books or more.
Twas then the letter said to me.
"Quite like a sport, my hoy. you be."
Three years have now almost gone by,
A Junior now am I :
To do more work than I have done From this on I must try.
For father, when lie writes each letter.
Says: "Son. your work must now be better.”
A Senior next I hope to he.
And sure I then must work:
For father's patience is most gone.
I’eeanse I’ve tried to shirk:
“And if you get not'your degree.” lie says, “You've all you'll get from me.”
Page 216 text:
Mow pleasant on a slippery day To conic down College Hill!
How thoroughly delightful To take a sudden spill!
1 low sweet and how enchanting—
A pleasure almost pain—
To hear some fellow shouting “First down! Two feet to gain!”
Little Jack Horner Sat in a corner In order to take an exam;
He passed it of course,
With the aid of a horse.
And said, "What a good hoy I am.”
I have a little hobby horse,
I keep him on my table;
He’s better eared for there, of course.
Than lie would be in a stable.”
I had a little pony, and it was dapple gray,
I loaned it to a lady on examination day.
She wore him, she tore him, she threw him on the floor,
111 never lend my horse again, henceforth forever more.
HEARD IN GERMAN CLASS
ITcrr Lincoln—Die Kuh ist fiber die fence ge-jumped.
Herr Maxy—Damit, shut cr das Fenstcr.
Professor W hitcnack—Mr. Maxey, that is the best translation you ever made.
There was a man named Skinner Who ate onions fried for dinner.
And it made his breath so very, very strong It could do the work of twenty And have energy left a plenty To pull a train of cars a half mile long.
Love is such a funny thing.
Acts just like a lizard,
Curls its tail over its back And creeps into your gizzard.
Two hundred twelve
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