Pensacola (LSD 38) - Naval Cruise Book

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War is hell, gentlemen, and we must each make sacrifices. Can I have the rest of your Cheetos? 79 Wow! Now H1313 a great camo job! Uh-oh . . . M m's gonna be pissed' Yet another opportunlty for the old Just my luck llrst day of he t lost contact lens Joke war and I get a flat'

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asters of the irwaves I remember back when in the middle of March, I put both feet together, Forward, yarch!', Another float in the Med, oh boy a new ship That means praying for mail and bumming dip. The end of March went and then came April Our first libo port, boys, libo in Naples. There were hookers and she-males and tons of queers, and they were yours for the evening for 50,000 lire. Some of us took tours to Pompeii or Rome And even met the Pope and had Church in his home. We packed up and left Naples and headed for Spain, A beautiful country on the edge of the Mediterrain. We rushed through Rota 'cause there was nothing to do so we called home to families and had a beer or two. Then came Spanish PHIBLEX, the Marines hit the land, We were anchored off the coast of Sierra de Retan. With Valencian women, we partied through the night, Then exchanged addresses and promised to write. The time came to leave and get underway So we picked up the anchor and hit Augusta Bay. We off-loaded our trucks, LAVs and our Hummers, That next week of maintenance was really a bummer. The Muslims and Serbs were creating some static, The word was passed down, U30 days Adriatic. Tensions were high as we sailed off the coast, Getting ready to do what we trained for the most. On Saturday moming CAAT Platoon had some fun, running with packs in the bright moming sun. Like Rudolph led Santa and all his Reindeer, Gunny Neary led us with our packs full of gear. And as the whole world waited for some plan of peace, PENSACOLA said screw it! and headed for Greece. We arrived on a small beautiful island called Rhodes Where most of us took all of our oats to get sowed. Some went Scuba Diving while some combed the beach Looking for something as sweet as a peach. The night life in Rhodes was outstanding and wild, Ouzo and beer, the famous Greek style. There was a small place that some liked to go- And watch the ship's band put on a good show. The Coronado Club and a club called Down Under Were vicious and loud like lightning and thunder. The women got us drunk and took advantage in bed Except for CPL McKutchin, he got dissed instead. ' Each night at sea, the silence of the night was broken by two faces that quickly became more recognizable to us than Dan Rather and Connie Chung. The faces were CPL Jason Kurdo and LCPL Mike Megna, and each night they gave all hands their lopsided, mispronounced view of world news and sports on the ship's CCTV It wasn't always food for thought, but it was certainly a snack for laughs. On the final eve of our long voyage, these dedicated co-anchors presented the following epic poem, capturing the highlights of our six months together. Of course, reprinting the poem affords a valuable luxury -- we can edit the gy bad parts . . . PENSACOLA ODYSSEY When we were done with the women and ready to go, We'd stop at old Gus's and grab a Gyro. It was sad to leave Rhodes and head back to sea, Say good-bye to the women who gave it up free. But there were Becces to do and GQ to play, And the Commandant was coming with a few words to say. We hit Volos, Greece with our cammies pressed, Off-loaded our vehicles and washed off the mess. The Commandant came to pass the word About the Croatians, the Muslims, and the Serbs. He gave us the speech, ffIt's not over yetlw He said SHIM, he said SHAM, then jumped on his jet. We packed up our gear, then headed away To the land ofthe Lord for a 20 day stay. We piersided Haifa in old Israel -- A nice place to visit, but hotter than hell. We did tours and some shopping, then caught a show, Drank beer in their bars and ate camel toe. The night life was kickin', a happenin' scene, Too bad most of the women were only thirteen! Little Haifa, the Celebrity, and the small park Were the places to go just after dark To grab some liquor, a ,beer or a coke . . What? Eight shekels? This must be a joke!,' Then came the field op with no time to waste, Seven days in the sun, a small desert taste. We retumed to the ship, ate and stowed our gear, When our workday was over, we drank on the pier, Some of us went out and drank in the bars -- Heineken, Maccabee, or our favorite, Gold Star! Back aboard ship, and back to the Med, Let's sail, lee helmsman! Full speed ahead!', Preparing for field op, we packed all our stuff. Tunisia, North Africa, it shouldn't be tough. Best part of that mission was swim qual at night -- LAI versus CAAT in a huge chicken fight. When field op was over, we left by LCAC, We hated Tunisia, hope we never go back! We retumed to the ship and learned of the plan -- Port call for us, no PONCE or SAIPAN! Good behavior ashore earned us a gift from the blue, They rewarded us greatly with libo in Corfu! We didn't quite know what Corfu had in store As we got in the libo boat and headed for shore, X As the cruise drew to a close, CPL Kurdo and LCPL Megna received their just reward for six months of dedicated service on WLSD -- a pie in the face! Thanks to the magic of modern technology, our lab technicians fworking around the clockj were able to preserve the moment on film and reproduce it on CCTV with remarkable clarity, recreating the moment and preserving it in time. Ain't technology great?! Ipsos was the place that we all heard about, So we said What the hell! We'll check it outla' The beaches were killer and so were the girls, And they came from all four corners ofthe world. Italian, Swedish, Australian, Canadian, There was enough girls to LQ Giant Stadium! They all came out with one purpose in mind -- To spend lots of cash and have a good time! The Butterfly was a bar where some of us went To party with women with funny accents. . The B-52 was a place not to miss, Nor the incredible almighty Pink Palace, On the other side of the island, away from the crowd So no one would stop us when we got drunk and loud. This place was awesome, we stayed there all day, It was so hard leaving since they begged us to stay. There was parasailing, cliff jumping and jet skis, To help you forget and put your mind at ease. There was a bar, a jacuzzi, and volleyball games, Women walked around topless, feeling no shame. They were all like models, none were fatty They all loved that game, STSMACKJ Who's your daddy? Forget Camp Lejeune and the Second MAR DN Corfu is the place where I want to live. Leaving Corfu and the fiiends that we met Was one of the hardest things we had done yet. Our rettu'n to Rota was a kick in the face -- Sailors had liberty but the Marines stayed on base. Those inspectors were looking for dirt that's unseen. We finished the vehicles and got them real clean, We took off the vehicles and all ofthe gear, Then headed for the E-Club and had some beer. Four days of Rota was plenty for me For the very first time, I looked forward to sea. We pulled away from the pier, all feeling fine, We said good-bye to Europe until the next time. So now, here we sit, this cruise will soon end We've had lots of parties and met several fiiends. For six months on ship, the oceans we've roamed But now the time has come for us to go home. Home to the loved ones we've missed these many weeks, Those who wrote letters putting smiles on our cheeks. So for now we must depart, Camp Lejetme otu' destination Take good care, PENSACOLA -- I'm Mike and I'm Jason.