Paxton High School - Reflector Yearbook (Paxton, IL)

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15 I he Paxton Iliyli School Reflector Or else you too will be caught You’ll graduate never!) Weary my body grew My brain was worn out too. I saw I’d ne'er get through I’d known it before. Down on my pen-point I fell Giving one last weak class yell That was my funeral knell— My life was o’er! Thus seamed with many scars Bursting it's prison bars Up to it’s native stars My soul ascended. Deep drinks the student's soul— Skoal; to old Paxton High! Skoal! Thus the tale ended. Emersons—“The Mountain and the Squirrel.” (A Parody.) Lanky Jeff and saw’d-off Mutt Had a quarrel And the former called tha latter “Little Runt.” Mut replied; You are doubtless very big, But all sorts of goods and leather Must be taken in together To make a man, And a can; And I think it no disgrace To occupy my place. “If I am not so long as you. You are not so short as I, And not half so spry; I'll not deny you make A very funny monkey face. Talents differ; all is well and wisely If I cannot carry coke, Jsenther can you crack a joke.” —Carl Cratz. Some DONT'S in the School Room. 1. Don’t ever whisper to your neighbor 2. Don't ever eat candy or chew gum. 3. 1 on’t write very many notes. 4. Don’t sas your teacher. 5. Eon’t ever cheat while reciting. G. Don't ever “cut up’’ in class. 7. Don’t ever be sent to the office. 8. D on't copy another student’s work. 9. Don’t ever be sent from class. . 10. Don't try to bluff in a recitation. 11. Don’t study too hard. 12. Don’t try to look innocent when guilty. 13. Don't ever shirk your duties. 14. Don’t ever tell a lie when ques tioned. 15. Don’t ever try to be big-headed, because it will be soon taken out of you. Gee, I wish— That I could control my violen! blushes.—Carl Cratz. That Miss F. would grow weary of correcting theme papers.—Eng. II. That Mr. Elmer wtuld pick on someone of his own size.—Agnes J. That Alma G. would get a Latin translation wrong, just once—Latin II. That the girls would quit flirting with me.—Jake Olson. That the girls would quit congregating in the cloak room.—Miss Bisbee. That Everett Smith would study once in awhile.—Faculty. That Mr. Elmer would modulate his stentorian voice when issuing invitations for front seats. T. B. M.: “Oh, gee, I would hate to lie an elevator boy. Just look at the ups and downs they have in life.”

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14 The Paxton High School Ref lector haps the meaning of your poem may he obscure or odd but that is of no moment providing the rhyme and meter are perfect. When tlie poem is complete, bow your head in a devout prayer of thanksgiving, utter a sigh of relief from the toes up, re-arrange your disordered tresses and remove those locks from beneath the nails whicn have ben torn from their native element during your period of mental stress. Then reassure your frightened parents, other relatives, neighbors, and the crowd of onlookers who have gathered to view your struggles, that it is not necessary to call the doctor, the undertaker or the bra n specialist, but that you have only written a Poem! (Note: Those of our would-be poets who are afflicted with baldness should not be discouraged, but hold their brains in their hands, anyway: indeed, this sort of massage may eventually cause the hair to again grow, i THE SENIOR SPECTRE By Agnes Johnson, ’17. (A Parody on Ixmgfellow’s Skeleton in Armor.) Speak, Speak, thou fearful guest Who. to thy hollow breast Still hath a note-book prest And comes’t to daunt me. Dressed not in sombre hue But in hright gold and blue Anc’ent class-sweater, too— Why dost thou haunt me? Then from those cavernous eyes Pale flashes seemed to rise As when the Northern skies Gleam in December And like the waters flow Tender December’s snow Came a dull voice of woe From the heart’s chamber: — ‘‘I was a Senior bold My deeds, though manifold Ne’er in Reflector was told— Never was taught thee! Take heed that in thy verse Thou dost this tale rehearse Else dread a school boy’s curse For this I sought thee. Here, with the wicked band When from class I was canned, I with my childish hand Flung notes, so bravely. And with my new fountain pen Traced I those pictures then. Far beyond human ken S'nned I thus gravely. And when I older grew Joined 1 the smoker’s crew Many the smoke-rings T blew With the marauders. Wild was the life we led. There was many an aching head Many a nose that bled—by our stern orders. Four years we onward bore And when that time was o’er We’d graduate, we were sure ’Yond teachers’ call. But our kind teachers wise Had in store a surprise We’d scarce believe our eyes— They flunked us all! Thus it went many years Habit soon dried our tears. I soon forgot the jeers, ’Twas no use to bother! (Here let a lesson be taught, Do not set books at naught

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16 The Paxton High School lief lector Decalogue. 1. V a e the text l ooks. thy taskmasters: Thou shalt not place the movies” before us. 2. Thou shalt not take the name of the fae iltv in vain for O. J. B. shall not hold him gu'ltless, who taketu their illustrious name in vain. 3. Rememl er the “ten-minute” bell and keep it holy. 4. Honor the study periods, else the grades will be low on the cards which thy teachers will give thee. 5. Thou shalt not chew sum. f.. Thou shalt not borrow thy neighbor’s Latin translation. 7. Thou shalt not use “ponies , neither shalt thou get canned from class. 8. Thou shalt not throw notes unto thy neighbor. 9. Thou shalt not borrow thy neighbor’s tablet, neither his pencils, nor his fountain pen, nor his compass, nor anything which is thy neighbor’s. 10. I, Mr. Elmer, am a jealous prin cipal, visiting the iniquity of this High School noon its members even unto the third and fourth classes of those that hate me, and giving good grades unto those that love me and keep my emmandments. Book Reviews. (Few of our school fellows reali .e the number of authors within our midst. It is with the thought of bringing the work of our most em! nent geniuses before the pul lie that we publish these reviews.) Latest Fashion Fancies.—Dot W, How to Reduce—Taken from Author's Own Experience.—Perle J. Latin Made Easy—An extensive work based on the work of our public schools.—Alma G. “Leisure Class Ideals —-Shrewd observation drawn from author’s own experiences.—'Dewey H. Ph. D. “Affairs of the Heart”—The author is well qual fled to discuss this question. His experiences in this field ar- many.—Russel T. Crowe. “Beauty Hints —Containing fifty-six illustrations of author.—'Ethel Kelly. ’’Remin'scences of My Childhood Days”—Ruby F. “Curls—Their Care and Arrangement —’William O. “How to Amuse a Small Boy” Maurice Peterson. A TRAGEDY. I shot a paper in the air It fell some place, I know not where. I tried to follow it in its flight But could not see where it did light. I breathed some word about an exam I learned my fate and said, “Oh--” For who has mind so keen and strong To answer questions all the day long. Two days afterward on the floor ( The tiny wad appeared once more; The long exam, and that little wad I fondly wished were beneath the sod. SOPHOMORE NOTES. With the beginning of the second semester, the Sophomores took up the study of English History, with Mr. Elmer. The class promises to be a very interesting one in several ways. Miss Bisbee (in bookkeeping): “Maurice what is a ledger account? Maurice: “A riddle, I guess.”