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Page 74 text:
“
At Bat HEN I was a lad we lived in the country. IVell do I remember the old house, which was located in what is now the city of Glen Rock. VVe moved out there 'way back in the spring of 1926, and I was not so young but what I can recall the whole thing. ,, -.,,,-,....I I, 'N in x 'X fl, 7 . SVI? fr Up to the time that we spent the first night in the place, we had discovered several little creatures, usually hanging upside down and fast asleep. They had proved to be bats, and we were not surprised when we had found eight or nine of themg we had seen them before and were not very upset about it. It was not until one evening when we had all come in and seated outselves com- fortably, that we realized what we were up against. One of the little brutes had found his way in and proceeded to circle about our heads with great audacity. I can remember grabbing a broom, and half scared out of my wits, chasing him with it. I stood plumb in the middle of the Hoor and spun around, the bat about six inches ahead of the broom and the family in a panic. I was in great danger of letting the broom fly through the window when I conceived a plan. Stopping abruptly, I circled about in the opposite direction and met him head on. He didn't have time to utter a sound, but went flying across the room quite out of breath. I was the hero on that occasion, but the family will never forget one evening when I stayed home alone. They returned and went into convulsions of laughter upon seeing me. I was seated in an arm chair with a bath-robe on, my father's hat pulled securely down over my ears, one hand on my air rifle, which rested across the arms of the chair, and the other tightly clutching a folded newspaper. They thought it quite funny, but I still fail to see the point. I had been reading when I heard a great noise in the fire place. One of the little brats for should I say bats?j had come down the chimney and commenced circling dangerously near my head. I recalled tales of people who had had bats clinging to their hair, and I can remember rushing to the coat closet and donning the hat. My little visitor then made a tour of the house, ending up in the second story. He was quite out of reach Qluckilyj, and I procured my B-B gun, took careful aim, and pulled the trigger. Then the unexpected happened-he fell to the fioor! I took him outside, shutting the door after me, and disposed of him. Then I tried to get back in and discovered that I had no key! It never fails to amuse people, when I tell them how I tried to break in the various windows, clothed in a dressing gown and over-size derby. There was a full moon and the neighbors seemed to view the performance with mixed amazement and enjoy- ment. Finally I broke in, and the family came home to find me in the pose described. For a time we thought our troubles over, and it was not until we had cor- nered some thirty-five or forty of them that we realized what we were in for. 72
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Page 75 text:
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After my sad experience, we had kept the draft closed in the chimney. Peculiar noises attracted our attention, and one evening when my mother and I were alone, I prepared to get the fellow. My mother barricaded herself in a bedroom, and I opened the draft! Out he came, followed by nine of his little brothers, all oi whom did their best to confuse me. It was then that that I made the holes in the wall Cthat we were never able to fill upj. For months afterwards, members of the family would slide across the floor, land on one ear or the other, and say something wholly disrespectfully about Phil and his gun. The bat business then settled down to routine work, with the exception of one night. VVe were all seven of us eating dinner, when I heard a noise as if some one had dropped a doughnut into a paper bag. Knowing that we had no doughnuts in the house, I jumped up, just in time to meet Mr. Bat, who had tripped on his way down the chimney, and fallen on a newspaper at the bottom. My mother and sister did the disappearing act and five of us chased the poor little creature. Little, did I say? He was fully six inches across and full of life. Finally he got under a pile of boards in the cellar, where I discovered him. Getting a stick behind him, I sent him Hying through the air plumb into the middle of my father's stomach. We got him at last, but I will never forget my father's expression as the bat collided with him! My batty days are o'er, but-I still love to return to the spot where the house once stood. Filled with regret, I think of the time when I could go on a bat, any evening without leaving home. P. A. A Modern Novel The ball rose high among the clouds and swerved gracefully Tfllifribig down to earth, to a spot far from the reaches of the opposing team. This home run scored the three runs which won the final game of B, ,,'Xl'-49 a series of games between Kendall and Wadsworth High Schools. Kendrallton, the home of the winning team, was hilarious with delight. Mr. James Matthews, Jr., happened to be the happy individual who did so much damage to the visiting nine. jimmy, as he was called, is the hero of our story, young readers. Later he was president of the largest bank in Lodi. Prosperous? Yes. Happy? Yes. Etc., etc., to the delightful end. EXPLANATORY Nora-In case there is someone who does not understand my method, please allow me to explain. All stories have their beginnings and their endings, do they not? During the one thousand, nine hundred and twenty-six years of story writing many plots and stories have been written, hence the modern reader should be able to supply his own plot from the numerous published stories, if he is supplied with a substantial beginning and ending. I. V. A. 73
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