Paterson Eastside High School - Mirror Yearbook (Paterson, NJ)

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But Sylvia spoke with great contempt, NVhat's the movies if it's not followed by a sundae? And surely you can't get all that on one dime and a nickel. Phil pondered deeply for a moment and then answered with a sigh of relief, Let's go Saturday night, real late, and by the time we get out-there'll be a Sunday, won't there ? Say, Phil, speaking from experience? Selma Kalish-the one and only rival of the Mazda Lamps-and she causes even its brightness to fade into oblivion-is the cause of much mourning! For Selma is going to leave Dear Old Eastside -Selma, the famous tickler- f Wait, Gossip implores you, Wait, don't jump at conclusionsj. My, how that girl does tickle the ivories! Fie, for shame, you traitor, to desert the new building which is in such dire need of your musical ability-and, yes, that reminds us-Selma learned that in a massacre, nine hundred people were killed and that the human butchers feasted merrily on their victims. Ugh, Selma shud- dered, did they eat 'em alive P No, Selma, of course not. Bernice Lichtman reminded her. The nine hun- dred were killed! A look of comprehension dawned on Selma's face. Oh-I se-e-e-e, they were dead! G'wan Sei! how'd 'ya guess it? Our talented Bill Probert has abandoned his literary career. Bill has shown great interest ,in operas, particularly Carmen, These versatile people, they'll be the death of me yet! ! ! Selma, sweet, slim, fairy-footed Selma Lieblich, kept coaxing XVilbur Leigh to bark for her! Bark! Please, Wilbur, bark l Selma begged. Say, Sel, what's the big-idea? just because the poor boy's been elected ofiice dog-Great Guns! Butnow, the cramp-fthe sure sign of inevitable old age-creeps o'er Gossip. Youth, that aforementioned youth, will supplant her, will usurp her coveted place! Four years in High School-a scandalous career! Ah! she is moved to tears. She cannot, no, she cannot shout farewell, but-is merely able to sob: Au revoir, FLORENCE SHAIN. Whitey: I guess you've been out with worse looking fellows than I am, haven't you ? CNO answerj Whitey: I say, I guess you've been out with worse looking fellows than I, haven't you P Sweet Young Thing: I heard you the first time. I was just trying to think. 70

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At Bat HEN I was a lad we lived in the country. IVell do I remember the old house, which was located in what is now the city of Glen Rock. VVe moved out there 'way back in the spring of 1926, and I was not so young but what I can recall the whole thing. ,, -.,,,-,....I I, 'N in x 'X fl, 7 . SVI? fr Up to the time that we spent the first night in the place, we had discovered several little creatures, usually hanging upside down and fast asleep. They had proved to be bats, and we were not surprised when we had found eight or nine of themg we had seen them before and were not very upset about it. It was not until one evening when we had all come in and seated outselves com- fortably, that we realized what we were up against. One of the little brutes had found his way in and proceeded to circle about our heads with great audacity. I can remember grabbing a broom, and half scared out of my wits, chasing him with it. I stood plumb in the middle of the Hoor and spun around, the bat about six inches ahead of the broom and the family in a panic. I was in great danger of letting the broom fly through the window when I conceived a plan. Stopping abruptly, I circled about in the opposite direction and met him head on. He didn't have time to utter a sound, but went flying across the room quite out of breath. I was the hero on that occasion, but the family will never forget one evening when I stayed home alone. They returned and went into convulsions of laughter upon seeing me. I was seated in an arm chair with a bath-robe on, my father's hat pulled securely down over my ears, one hand on my air rifle, which rested across the arms of the chair, and the other tightly clutching a folded newspaper. They thought it quite funny, but I still fail to see the point. I had been reading when I heard a great noise in the fire place. One of the little brats for should I say bats?j had come down the chimney and commenced circling dangerously near my head. I recalled tales of people who had had bats clinging to their hair, and I can remember rushing to the coat closet and donning the hat. My little visitor then made a tour of the house, ending up in the second story. He was quite out of reach Qluckilyj, and I procured my B-B gun, took careful aim, and pulled the trigger. Then the unexpected happened-he fell to the fioor! I took him outside, shutting the door after me, and disposed of him. Then I tried to get back in and discovered that I had no key! It never fails to amuse people, when I tell them how I tried to break in the various windows, clothed in a dressing gown and over-size derby. There was a full moon and the neighbors seemed to view the performance with mixed amazement and enjoy- ment. Finally I broke in, and the family came home to find me in the pose described. For a time we thought our troubles over, and it was not until we had cor- nered some thirty-five or forty of them that we realized what we were in for. 72