Paterson Eastside High School - Mirror Yearbook (Paterson, NJ)

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don't you hold your breath for a while F Clever Helen! Gossip has learned a lesson from you that she will never forget! Meanwhile, continue the good work! Nathan Newmark is disgusted! Nathan believed that because he was studious he would be greeted with open arms everywhere! But landladies proved excep- tions to the rule! Nathan is disgusted. VVhen I told the lady I wanted a room she told me it would be 'Ten Dollars up!' But when I said the price was too exorbitant and that I was only a student she grimly said, Then, sir, it's Ten Dollars down and immediately too.' 'S all right Nate, every knock is a boost. Here's hoping you reach the top! Malice, cruel hard malice, lights up the visage of that cruel lady of scandal. She laughs with deep scorn at the benefits derived from a four-year high school education. She beams upon Ab Roemer and Ed Allen, who prove such delightfully amusing subjects of scandal. Abner wants to know why, if kidlet is a small kid, isn't hamlet a tiny ham? And Ed Allen, while telling about the life of Milton, recites thus: Milton was taught by a man which taught him to -in Mrs. Westman finterrupting to correct himj : W lm taught him? Ed looked puzzled for a moment, then a great light shone on his intelligent CU face, and he complacently answered, His Mother! Ray, Ed! You deserve a diploma for that if for nothing else! Rose Fire is insulted, and gossip chuckles maliciously. Rose asked VVinnie Torrey if she didn't think her pictures turned out terribly? W hy, no. VVinsome NVinnie replied. They're awfully good likenesses, Rose! Ah, NVinnie, you are a. living example of feminine foibles! Gossip commends you, you are her best friend. Gnashing of teeth, g-r-r-r, heartbreaking sobs, moans, and heavy hearts will be found in our dear old halls, when the modern Adonis, the youthful Apollo, the ebony-locked Bill White walks down the aisle to the tune of the graduation march! But cheer up, ladies! Bill's gonna hand out autographed photos! Aintcha Bill, huh? If anyone wants to know complimentary things about our Baseball Manager just ask Steve Germond. He'll tell you all about him. Sez Steve: Our team has to succeed! With Stephen Germond as manager how can it help but succeed ? Yeah Steve, our manager has one fan anyway. Philander rises before old Lady Gossip-Phil in all his glory-Phil who wants to beat the drums in the Salvation Army! The army you may join, Philan- der-but Salvation-you need it! And again Phil appears, as Sylvia our own gray-eyed Syl Edelstein Cshe lacks absolutely all vestige of maidenly modestyj invites him to take her to the movies! Sure, let's go, I've got fifteen cents! CAm I giving away a secret, Phil? but that's the amount you told her U Two can't get in for fifteen cents. Syl tells him. Yes, they can-in the balcony, Philander retorted. 69

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'fa 'Lg 4- - - h . -. . , . F' '11 1 I IE! la al Q' El Q E. I . 'lf lg it all f , F lam! ! 'Y Hglfgllg lll It EH p 1 g za -get , sg egg lla ff -E E l'E ::m1 I W 2 .. EQDI IM mlm : 1- lunar I -t , El IEYIIEI lra,:l.:.1rra:1rE:llrrrnziwa11mwawlri e :mi f 1 OUTH! Effervescing Youth! How Gossip strives to ignore it! But, how it rises before her, wreathed in smiles and mocking! She lifts l Yagi . . . . . l Nl'T1'sX, her hand-then arrests its motion. Ah! a smile Hits across her wizened features, a smile that betokens no good--she shall strike! She shall strike at these youngstersg aye, even at the one who ranks among the greatest presidents, who rivals the great Wilson in statesmanship, the incomparable Lincoln in wisdom, and the one and only Roosevelt in knowledge and administrative ability! None other than Ivan Ackerman-Ivan and his pleasant smiley Ivan who carries the burden of the world fthe bag containing the money-famished students' lunch moneyj slung across his shoulder! W'hen you become Cap'n o' Our Ship o' State don't forget to save a bunk for ol' Dame Gossip's weary bones, Ivack! ! l Hazel, our sweetly child-like Hazel, who is all the more adorable for her attempts at sophistication, recently went for a visit. Her hostess brought in all sorts of interesting rah-rah cowboys for Hazel to play with, but still the lovely Hazel was homesick. VVhy, Hazel, with all these boys around you should be happy here! the hostess exclaimed. But it's not where I am, it's where I'm not, that I'm lonesome for. Dear Hazel! Home Sweet Home is a lovely song, ain't it, Huh? Hartley Radcliffe, driver of a rubberneck wagon, also an inveterate kid- der, told a sweet young thing that he was broadminded and believed women to be as good as men, and that they had their work to perform in the world. XVhy, his mother was a kitchen oculist ! Really F breathlessly asked the stricken girl. What did she do? Oh, Hartley airily replied. She takes the eyes out of potatoes ! Fiendish glee lights up Gossip's cross features! XVhat fools these-but no, these Seniors are clever! VVhat superior wisdom they did show in declaring the fair Helen the most tactful. Gossip is surprised at such a display of wisdom. But hark all ye, especially ye who are aspirants for some young man's heart! Helen NVeinreb was much bored with a young and ignorant admirer who fervently declared: Helen,.ah Helen! You are the breath of my life. VVell, the lovely one replied, with a most becoming maidenly pout, XVhy 68

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But Sylvia spoke with great contempt, NVhat's the movies if it's not followed by a sundae? And surely you can't get all that on one dime and a nickel. Phil pondered deeply for a moment and then answered with a sigh of relief, Let's go Saturday night, real late, and by the time we get out-there'll be a Sunday, won't there ? Say, Phil, speaking from experience? Selma Kalish-the one and only rival of the Mazda Lamps-and she causes even its brightness to fade into oblivion-is the cause of much mourning! For Selma is going to leave Dear Old Eastside -Selma, the famous tickler- f Wait, Gossip implores you, Wait, don't jump at conclusionsj. My, how that girl does tickle the ivories! Fie, for shame, you traitor, to desert the new building which is in such dire need of your musical ability-and, yes, that reminds us-Selma learned that in a massacre, nine hundred people were killed and that the human butchers feasted merrily on their victims. Ugh, Selma shud- dered, did they eat 'em alive P No, Selma, of course not. Bernice Lichtman reminded her. The nine hun- dred were killed! A look of comprehension dawned on Selma's face. Oh-I se-e-e-e, they were dead! G'wan Sei! how'd 'ya guess it? Our talented Bill Probert has abandoned his literary career. Bill has shown great interest ,in operas, particularly Carmen, These versatile people, they'll be the death of me yet! ! ! Selma, sweet, slim, fairy-footed Selma Lieblich, kept coaxing XVilbur Leigh to bark for her! Bark! Please, Wilbur, bark l Selma begged. Say, Sel, what's the big-idea? just because the poor boy's been elected ofiice dog-Great Guns! Butnow, the cramp-fthe sure sign of inevitable old age-creeps o'er Gossip. Youth, that aforementioned youth, will supplant her, will usurp her coveted place! Four years in High School-a scandalous career! Ah! she is moved to tears. She cannot, no, she cannot shout farewell, but-is merely able to sob: Au revoir, FLORENCE SHAIN. Whitey: I guess you've been out with worse looking fellows than I am, haven't you ? CNO answerj Whitey: I say, I guess you've been out with worse looking fellows than I, haven't you P Sweet Young Thing: I heard you the first time. I was just trying to think. 70