Paterson Eastside High School - Mirror Yearbook (Paterson, NJ)

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46 GIRLS' HIGH SCHOOL ZOOLOGICAL. Chimp tcoming from the' dressing roomj-4 You said you had shown me everything of in- terest about the University, you deceitful old thing. Panzee tall worriedje- But I did, Duckie. Chimp- You didn't show me the zoo. Panzee- There isn't any zoo, little girl. Chimp- You mean old thing, I know there is. I heard Mary just say she saw a dancing Wham that was the Cat's Klookus and Nell said, That's nothing: I saw a bird with a pedal potency on him like a centipedef -Virginia Reel. COMPLICATED ANATOMY. The teacher asked the class to write a. com- position about frogs. Waldo wooden dia his best. U What a wonderful bird the frog are! When he stand he sit, almost. When he hop, he fly, almost. He ain't got no sense hardly. He ain't got no tail, hardly, either. .W-hen he sit, he sit on what he ain't got, almost.--People's Home Journal. -i A GEOMETRY PROBLEM. A freshman is not worth two cents. Given: A freshman. To prove: A freshman is not worth two cents. Proof: 1. A freshman is a baby. 2. A baby is a. crier. 3. A crier is a messenger. 4. A messenger is one sent. 5. One cent is not worth two cents. 6. Therefore, a freshman is not worth two cents. Soap Box Oratorr I want reform: I want government reform: I want labor reform: I want---. Voice from rear: Chloroform! This is a bad road, but we're g-oing at sixty per. Are you brave? asked Ellie. Bra.ve! said Newell, swallowing another mouthful of dust. I'm just full of grit. IT CAN'T BE DONE. Teacher: Are you chewing gum? Pupil: No ! Teacher: What are you chewing? Pupil fin undertonelz My tongue. Teacher: Put it in the basket. Aunt-Edith, you appear to'eat well. Edith T.--Yes, I've been practicing eating all my life, Landlady fknocking at student's doorjz Eight o'clock, eight o'c1ock. Student fsleepilyl. Did you? Well, you'd better see a doctor. 14 PK IF Senior-There's not a piece of chicken in this hash. ' Waiter-How do you know? Did a little bird tell you? Senior-Yes, a swallow. if wk 111 Percy-Deucedly awkwardg forgot my stick. Beth-Which? Lip or walking? S Sk ik She--I hear Margie is in the hospital. He-What's the trouble? She--Had waves put in her hair so much that she got water on the brain. 8 S Ill Teacher-Cin Englishj-When did Revival of Learning begin? Freshie-The week before exams. O Ik ik Ik Nurse-Well, it's a girl. Father-Cwith keen foresightl-And I just sold the porch swing this morning. H1 It ik Marie Antoinette--If they have not bread, let them eat cake. Voice in Mob-What do you take us for, a bunch of cake-eaters? S III it Lady-I want to draw out S10. Banker-But, Madam, your account is already S10 overdrawn. ' Lady--Oh, very well, here's my check for 320. Now let me have it. i K I M. T.--Why are the lights in downtown New York brighter than those up-town? E. D.-I don't know that one. M. T.-Because they are nearer the Battery. Ik Sk It Teacher-Cto freshmanl-- What is man? Freshman- Live 'Dust. it 1' ik Oh, Man! I've got a wonderful girl now, I call her Pebecco. Pebecco? Why on earth do you call her that? Because-she's good to the last squeeze. IN HISTORY 351. Miss Banghart was discussing skilled and, un- skilled laborers. Miss B.-What men work in the mines? D. D.-Miners. i

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SENIOR YEAR BOOK -15 ms . fear I 1 I 4unlQ X S I X Y I f X x xx X C I S - I if . g V T, SIvv.Fsaa'n', X ADM:--1 edt H UM Oli. Employer fto new office girly-Has the cash-4 ier told you what you are to do this afternoon? Office Girl-Yes, sirg I'm to wake her when I see you coming. f ik ll: Pk Lil G.-What animal is satisfied with the least amount of nourishment? Dot D.-The moth, because it eats nothing but holes. Ik if Pl: A teacher received the following excuse for an absence. , Dear Teacher . Kindly excuse Minnie for having been ab- sent yesterday, asshe fell in the mud on the way to school. By doing same, you will oblige Her Mother. as 5: sg Mother-Now, Alice, I want you to be good while I am out. Alice-I'll be good for a nickel. Mother-Alice, I want you to remember that you cannot be a daughter of mine unless you are good for nothing, - 34 12 Ik Loretta C.-Why ought Shakespeare's dra- matic works to be considered unpopular? Evelyn C-Because they contain Much Ado About Nothing. Why are two young ladies kissing each other an emblem of Christianity? Because they are doing unto each other as they would men should do unto them. HK Sk if Why is an author the most wonderful thing in the world? Because his tale comes out of his head. Sk bk lil What is a button? A small event that is always coming off. :lf PF Hr Rastus, why foh you pack dat 'er razor to dis dance? Niggah, don't yoh read yourself as dis heah am to be a cut-in dance. . :lf 214 Foot-'ba-ll Fan: - Men may go with charming fiappers, College widows and all such, But for me the greasy pigskin Is the skin l love to' touch. 11 P11 914 Minnie-Now Bobby, how much does six and Your make? Bobby-Eleven. Minnie--Guess again. Bobby-TweIve-nine-thirteen. Minnie-fHow- about ten? Bobby-Oh, you can't mix me up that way! Five and five make ten.

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x ,M-.,,,,.-,,-q . , V - --1--r.. ' . - .xv - -- SENIOR YEAR BOOK 47 Oh! Rudolph. There was a young man from Pikes Peak ' Who thought that he looked .like the Sheik . On his hair there was seen 'Nough bandoline To run a garage for a week. lk ll 1 Vanity Fair. Some love two, Some love three, But I love one, And that is me. lk Ik ik Anna S.-What kind of a singer is Alice? Dinah R.-A perfect scream, ll' Ill lk Loretta C.--I got zero in my Math exam. Marion R.-That's nothing. Loretta C.-What's nothing? Marion R.-Zero. 2: sg 4: Minnie'R.-'I hear that Mildred strained her voice last night. Dinah L.---Yes, she sang through a screen door. 91 8 11 He--Gosh, I got 50W in my intelligence test. She-Oh, you must be a half-wit then. ak 8 sk Frieda A.-You've been smoking a Camel. Dave M.--How do you know? Fireda A.-There'e a hair on your shoulder. . 1 li il Dillerence in Terms. Bob-I think I'll buy my girl one of those forgiveness boxes. Helen W.-What do you mean, forgiveness box? Why you mean Vanity Cases. Bob-Oh, yes, I knew they were some thing they made up with. i sk K He-Do you think a girl should ma.rry before twenty? She-Oh, Harry, I love a big wedding. 44 it ik I-Ie-I should think you girls would get up an orchestra. ' Sarah B.-Oh, we couldn't. He-Why not? Sarah B.-None of the girls would play sec- ond fiddle. , 4: as if Merle S.-Why is a boy who treads on a good looking girl's dress like a hunter? Helen W.-Because he is on the trail of a. dear fdeerj. ' Rebecca H.---Why is the letter U the most un- certain. Sadie C.---Because it is always in doubt. lk PF 251 Dinah L.--Why is a man who has lost his limbs forgotten by his friends? Ronah S.-Because they cannot remember fre-memberj him. il ik lk Tillie F.-Why might carpenters really be- lieve there is no such thing as a stone? Barbara B.-Because they never saw it. Il rl lk Gert B.-Why are lovers like armies? Blanche R.-Because they get along well enough until they are engaged. Sk PIC 44 He--Are you trying to make a fool of me? Dot A.-Of com-se not: its useles to interfere with Nature. 4' S14 wk Loretta C.-VVhat shall we do tonight? Levina M.-Let's flip a coing heads we go to the moviesg tails we go to the danceg and if it stands on its edge, we study. lk is Sk Alice'4T.-What does the toothpaste say to the toothbrush? Alice G.-I d0n't know. What does it say? Alice T.- Squeeze me, kid, and I'll meet you outside the tube. Pk it It June W.--Why can't you hang a man with ai wooden leg? Jean W.-I don't know. June W.-'Cause you have to hang him with a rope. S Q ll Miss Wiggs-Yes, sir, I always goes to church when you preaches. Vicar fiiatteredj-I am glad to hear that, but why when I preach, why not every Sunday? Miss Wiggs-I'm always sure of getting a good seat when you preaches, sir. A --The Passing Show 1Londonl It li Ik Teacher-What became of the swine that had the evil spirit cast into them? Student-They made them into deviled ham. Q -Steel's Lion fDayton.J LATIN. There once was a Roman named Caesar, Who fought like a Mexican greaser, He conquered all Gaul, Wrote a book on it all, Wish he hadn't--this old Roman Geeser. EDNA DALY.