Oakwood High School - Acorn Yearbook (Dayton, OH)

Page 32 text:

THE ACORN, 1932 The Class PI'OPl'l2CY ET us imagine ourselves ten years from now. It is in the year 1942, and gif Mr. A. E. Claggett, Superintendent of the Oakwood Schools, has con- Z 'wig tinued his Oakwoodian custom of investigating the activities of the alumni. He has just completed a survey of the glamorous Class of '32. Mr. Claggett's chauffeur, Philip Crowl, did much of the research work on his spare tire. Due to the fact that the Class of '32 was not so promising when they left Oak- wood, Mr. Claggett is overjoyed to find some successful ones among them. At this point it is necessary to mention Gentle Gus Zonars and Hercules Herkins. Through that noted promotress, Ruth Brelsford, they have been signed to rassle for the championship of Hooey County. By the way, Miss Brelsford claims the women's rassling title. Robert Landis now goes under the name of Oscar G. Zilch and is associated with that educational magazine Ballyhoo. Mrs. Ossie Zilch is none other than the former Lil Frank. John f Before j Hubler and Pete f After j Wood recommend Enid Martin's and Mildred Herby's Taffy House Candy to go with their course. Their course is Have Muscles Like Mine. Horace Huffman, the leading salesman for the Fooler Brush Company, was making a call the other day and found Bill Hall beating his wife, Jane Boggs, because she had been out of work for two weeks. Bill said he was hungry. The Local Boys make good! Boit and Bite are headliners in Carl Graves, Scandals.,' Of course Boit', and Bite,' are only stage names for David Semore DeCamp and Robert Claibourne Anderson. The stage has also claimed Jane Rodgers and Virginia Weiher. One acts and the other sings, but they both en- dorse Luckies. Another Lucky advertiser is Virginia Comer, who runs the cigar stand at the Beckel House. Hastings Baker married Leah Belle Mauck and is a prominent lawyer. He is at present representing Charles Allen's Ice Cream Company in a case against the people. The people claim that Charlie's ice cream has more ice in it than cream, but Charles denies this. Bill Greenfield, the dentist, is being sued for divorce by Elsie Wietzel. How- ever, we always said our Elsie could never forget her Tom. PAGE 28

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THE ACORN, 1932 ITEM 24. Loren Berry requests that his floating power be left to Bud Schaeffer, while David DeCamp, Robert Anderson, and Miles McSherry each leave six stale jokes to Robert Pool. ITEM 25. Charles Merckel leaves a correspondence course on How to Make Love to Robert Harsh, and Harriet Barton's appreciation of jokes goes to the Moss twins. ITEM 26. Carmen Barbulesco's ability to flirt with the nearest boy goes to Phyllis Wiley, and to Mary Huffman goes Eleanor Knight's ability to skip school and get away with it. ITEM 27. Carl Graves bequeaths his P. A. to the highest bidder, the proceeds therefrom to be given to the orphans' home for trained fleas. ITEM 28. Anne Baker bequeaths her studiousness to Mildred Ba'l, and Janet Cockerill's wealth of poise goes to Marjorie Parker. ITEM 29. Carolyn Hosier's ability to act like Zasu Pitts goes to Peggy Davies, while johnny Hubler, otherwise known as 'fMr. President of the Senior Class, bestows his deep knowledge of the dictionary upon Heathman Allen. ITEM 30. Marv Jane Swaningr-r wills her schcol spirit to Martha Sanders, while Milton Wagner wills his altitude to DeVoe Turpin. i ITEM 31. Inez Cooke wishes that her ability to plav the piano be 'eft to Hildreth Carter, and Ed I-loltson's curly hair is bestowed upon Corwin Rife. ITEM 32. Robert Herkins wills a crystal set to Charles Littell, while Virginia Prinz's ability to draw goes to Rosemary Thomson. ' ITEM 33. Martha Altick's scholastic standing is bestowed upon Pauline Hatfield and Louise Tschop, while Mary Leen wills her short, snappy name to Eugenie Lautenschlager and to Eve'yn Sclloenberger. ITEM 34. Eleanor Shawhan wishes to bestow her athletic ability upon Kathryn Kiser, while Ronald Reeves wills his curly locks to Robert Rike and Richard Lamb. ITEM 35. Jane Rodgers wills her dramatic prowess to Margaret Roehm, and William Heitmann be- stows his garrullity upon joe Godfrey and Christine Matthieu. ITEM 36. Enid Martin wills her flaxen locks to Celeste Brown and Else Newcomer, and Kenneth Bontecou bestows his plus fours upon Robert Weaver and Robert Davis. ITEM 37. Every member of the Senior Class gladly relinquishes his class pin to Peggy Pickrel. ITEM 38. I Gene Good willingly grants his sincere consolation to the junior boys for their utter inability to live up to the standards set by himself, and Jane Boggs bestows the same on the junior girls. In witness whereof we have hereunto set our hands this fourteenth day of june, 1932. JANE Boccs. PAGE 27

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THE ACORN,193Q Milton Wagner owns the famous Nertz Beauty Parlor. Associated with him are Maxine Lohnes and Helen Rounds who specialize in henna hair dye. Milton's specialty is trimming the people. After the Eighteenth Amendment was repealed, Cooper Gessaman and Robert Karg settled down in the beer business. Mr. Ronald Reeves and Mrs. Evelyn Reeves fpitt to you, have become the champion figure skaters of Iceland. This honor was mostly due to Evelyn's fig- ure-skating. Mary Ellen Schumacher is in Hollywood and has surpassed the once-famed Garbo in her love scenes. Schumacher claims she has a French maid, but it is no- body else but petite,' Mary Jane Schwinn. Helen Compton and Phyllis Chryst have taken over a farm in Idaho and are raising ostriches. By their good work they have put quite a feather in Oakwood's cap. Jane Tipton is one of the most prominent members of the class. She is ex- hibited in Bill Heitmann's side show-all 300 pounds of her. Frances Miller, Inez Cooke, and Harriet Barton are happy employees of Loren Berry who is the head of the Belle Telephone Company of Centerville. Kenneth Elfrits is giving them lessons in voice culture at his school for the same. In looking up Bill Eckert, a number was found instead of a name. It seems that Bill was a bigamist and that Lizzy Leen, Eleanor Knight, and Janet Cockerill made up his harem. Bill's fellow convicts now call him What-a-Man Eckert. Steffen Brown and Kenny Bontecou own a band. Merckel trumpets with them, and during their last engagement, they met Martha Altick, Anne Baker, and Linda Dill who were chorus girls in a Hoor show. James Jones is setting a fast pace in the world of aviation. He pilots a trans- port plane across the country. Fred Kramer runs the pool room next to the fire house on Park Avenue, and Carmen is his devoted wife. Fred also supports a girls' basketball team on which Eleanor Shawhan and Marjorie Johnson are the stars. Requarth also plays with them. Miles McSherry edits the Oakwood Blabberf' Elaine Hart is keeping up her reputation by writing a column called Nobody's Business. Dorothy Flack is also on the Blabber staff and gives Advice to the Lovelorn which is very poor. PAGE 29