Oakwood Collegiate Institute - Oracle Yearbook (Toronto Ontario, Canada)

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THE OAKWOOD ORACLE Rouble lines Birmingham School was by no means an extraordinary school, but it boasted of two very extra- ordinary students. They were the twin children of Mr. and Mrs. John Pym. When John Pym was married one of his ambitions was to have a son whom he would train, himself, to be a star repor- ter as he was. But God had given him a boy and girl who resembled each other to such a degree that excepting differences of clothing even the mother would have been unable to decide which one she was looking at. That was eighteen years ago and John Pym Sr., editor of The Daily News no longer had any desire to make his son a reporter, for the simple reason that his son was un- adapted for that type of work. These children of Pym's were Jack and Jill but more than one believed that there must have been some juggling of names at birth. The girl, Jill, seemed to have all the masculine qualities which her brother so noticeably lacked. She possessed a slim masculine figure, a boyish bob, da1'k tanned skin, muscular arms and shoulders, for she was the athlete of the family. Jill was the best swimmer, the fin- est rider, the fastest runner, in all she was the foremost sport of the school. As for her brother, Jack, it was vcry different. He had never swam a yard in his life, he could not run to the cigar corner without palpi- tation of his heart, he was afraid ol' horses and loathed all sports. llc thought them rough and com- mon. Jack was an emotional, sen- suous boy. effeminate, paler than his sister but of the same height. The routine of practical life wearied him. Ile disliked listening to his faths-r's newspaper talk. What he loved most was his brush and easel to paint things as he Prryr Si.rfr1'n believed them. He was a worship- per of beauty with the soul of an artist. Ratlieragainst his own feelings he studied side by side with his popular, vivacious twin-sister. He did not care particularly for school but being quite young he had no right to choose. Two nights before the Commen- cement Dance, Jack, in a moment of weakness, had invited a young freshette to the dance. The day after he was sor1'y. The night of the dance he was in a state of ex- asperation. He did not want to go. He would despise himself for re- fusing the girl but he would do it rather than suffer through an evening of impossible dancing ac- companied by terrible clanging music. He could not go through with it. Jill, his saviour so many times surely would not fail him now. Let her dress in his tuxedo and take the girl to the confounded dance. Jill was able to dance to any music and she was such a good head. At first Jill refused. The danger was too great but shortly her love of advanture overcame all and she began preparations for the mas- querading. With the aid of stacomb, a newly pressed tuxedo, shiny pat- ent leather shoes and a well prac- tised walk, Jill viewed herself in the mirror and smiled approval. A half-hour later she stepped upon a certain young girl's veran- dah and rang the doorbell. The freshette was waiting, beaming. Jill remarked upon her exquisite beauty that evening and assisted her into the family omnibus. The girl appeared thrilled and brim- ing with happiness. Jill remained cool and tried to remember to low- er her voice.

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Paladine beheld his old companion, Jimmy Greig, sitting peacefully on a hard bench, saying over and over Yes, I realize it was my own fault, yes, you're entirely correct, yes sir, I'll try to do better, sir! Approaching closer, Paladine endeavoured to see the speakers companion: closer, closerg it can't be! Surely not! Never! But yes, it was, . . . Sweeny Davis, tpresi- dent of the Referees union, 999 Queen Street, blow the whistle at the doorl saying over and over to himself the motto of his society. Never put off next period, the one you can put off now. Suddenly a gong rang and solemn as judges and Deuter- onomy, the two captives solemnly arose, and with tender looks em- braced each other with all the af- fection for which they were famous on earth. Marvelling at thc strangeness of the scene. Paladine passed on to the next cell. Here he beheld another, a young lawyer often called to the Bar, and the best halfback that ever punched a nose, John Dargavel. Safely en- sconced on his high pedestal, and perfectly comfortable in his tux and rugby helmet, John was mut- tering feverishly, Mr, Dunkley. I hadda go downtown with my brother. Paladine was frankly puzzled. How can this creatuie keep warm in this cold cavern in an outfit like that? THE OAK WOOD OR ACLE Oh, he's aping the monks tvery deepl and then he's so wrapped up in his studies. Say, Charon, l thought you had a place here for punsters, where in an opun room they are suitably punished '? We have such a place, Sir Pala- dine. One of our romances started on puns. A shabbily clothed inmate fell in love with a beautiful maid- eng he pressed his suit, he suited her and they were married tout de suite. Come on in, here they are, and to his delighted ears came words like these: Save money in the household by the buy-no-meal theorem. May 1 find sanctuary here? Sanctuary much. That Chinese girl suits me to a tea. My girl friend is named Meedy. I took her out on two dollars, im- mediate three dollars' worth. Well, Paladine, what do you think of them? Well, welll Well'? That's a deep 'un.' SirY In fact it's a deep pun Sir Paladinelu In fact it's a d-pun. Sir Paladine, you have betray- ed us. Infamous scoundrel, go! Paladine went. Jonarold. 0 pt t mmf. X' I K gr .QU -'x' .Tiff 1 . I I Lt ' ll' ill Page Fl.'fvff'!'ll

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At the dance, Jill mixed among the young men and with all the masculinity which she herself pos- sessed plus what she suddenly ac- quired, went over magically. No one could ever have suspected, her fears soon died away and she en- tered with enthusiasm into the warmth and pleasure of the dance as her brother could never have dreamed of doing. Her dancing was graceful, her leading strong and it was not long until rumour spread that Jack Pym, the femin- ine artist, had suddenly become the most marvellous dancer. And so the evening passed. Jill was experiencing the most thrill- ing adventure of her young life. It was on the way home that the girl said to her, Do you know you are very deceiving? I had no idea you were really like this. You are wonderfulf' Scarcely had she breathed the last words when Jill felt her head crash and a heavy weight descend upon her. Then oblivion. The next morning, Jill opened her eyes and gazed about her. It was a small room, all white. A nurse entered, then memory re- turned. She had been in an acci- dent. This was the hospital. What a mixup! Her first words to the nurse were to inquire of the girl whose words were still sounding in her ears. She was more than a little relieved to hear that she only was injured. That helped at least. THE OAKWOOD ORACLE But where was Jack? Why didn't he come to see her '? Suddenly the reason came to her why he was unable to come. The masquerade was still on and she was Jack Pym. She felt the heavy bandages on her head. It was very annoying! The nurse insisted upon calling her Mr. Pym. How much she would have loved to hear some- one say, Jill, how do you feel? But no one did. Amidst these anxieties the white door opened and Jill saw her father. He came to her and whis- pered 'tJill, what's all this any- way? Jack is at home in his stu- dio pacing up and down half wild. The papers say he was injured pretty badly last night, John Pym was now a modern father. He laughed to himself. Something was amusing him very much. But poor Jill felt herself becom- ing more and more distracted. Everything was becoming very much complicated. She was lying back, with eyes closed, mentally exhausted in this unnecessary situ- ation. However, time heals all things and in two days Jill was brought hom from the hospital. In the school newspaper, a few days later, there appeared a notice to the effect that Miss Jill Pym had been called away to relations in New York for three weeks. And thus ended one of the Pym entan- glements. G. E. R. IVA. ikehnn I had come home to my little apartment in the Edgeware Road, weary after a more than ordinarily trying day at the office. I had had my dinner before I came home and I was pleased to find that my little maid-of-all-work had lighted a fire in the grate, and drawn the shades. My big arm chair was near the Qtourt hearth, and I sank into it with re- lief. Now for a quiet smoke and my evening paper. For half an hour I read. It was the same old story-trouble in the Balkans, columns of scandal about the Beach Divorce Case, floods in the West, and, as usual, financial excitement in the United States- Page Sczwztcwf