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Page 24 text:
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A177 3' YT 'f'N . , c X ' ? ogifgivi .I v Q1 isnigh Awake! Arise, Sir Paladine! To-day you must visit the lower world, and cross with me the sac- red styxf' Fiddle Styx! drawled Sir llaladine sleepily. Who are you, anyway? Oh! my head! What a nightf That last case nearly finish- ed me. Say, with sudden horror, l didn't marry you last night, did I? my wife gets terribly angry when l come home drunk and find l've married someone. I am Charon, guardian ot' the open spaces, where men are men and women are many. As a mar- ried man, you must once in your life descend to purgatory, anil thence realize, by contrast, the blessedness of wedlock. flwan, returned the knight. war is hell, as Mr. Sherman said, and ask any married man if mars riage isn't war. What happens in your old llades place. anyway 7 Every human soul is given his just reward. Aw, your justicef What, Sir l'aladine'? very sternly. ' Hr - - - as I was about to say, your justice welcome as can lie. Then ri-covering his sum: frif-fl he continued, who are you to order mc, a knight, around 7 I,ll!jI,' l on1'lr'6n I in Ziaahrs 'tYes, indeed. A peer who ap- pears to peer into everyone else's business. Sir Paladine, come! Paladine went. Heavens, a three-headed dog, and he doesn't like me with any of thein. What does he do besides guarding' the entrance, Charon, old horse? He punishes the writers of bad verses, hurlers of biting satire, and of course those writers of his particular aversion. XVhich is? Doggerel, of course. He dogs their steps with dogged determina- tion, but his dog-like devotion to me is astounding. He is so playful. Now, Cerberus, make friends with this nice man. He's only playing. Paladineg don't worry, be calm and collected. Yes, I'd better collect those . . . er ...articles of apparel he's snatched off. Oh well. they're easily patched. lsn't he friendly! as he carefully removed the crea- ture's loving mandibles from his left ear, I think there's something tricky about this dog, he's worse than two-faced. By the way. Char- on, who is yonder giant in that se- cluded cave '? Ah, one of our best spectacles! Enter! and to his astonishment, H
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Page 25 text:
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Paladine beheld his old companion, Jimmy Greig, sitting peacefully on a hard bench, saying over and over Yes, I realize it was my own fault, yes, you're entirely correct, yes sir, I'll try to do better, sir! Approaching closer, Paladine endeavoured to see the speakers companion: closer, closerg it can't be! Surely not! Never! But yes, it was, . . . Sweeny Davis, tpresi- dent of the Referees union, 999 Queen Street, blow the whistle at the doorl saying over and over to himself the motto of his society. Never put off next period, the one you can put off now. Suddenly a gong rang and solemn as judges and Deuter- onomy, the two captives solemnly arose, and with tender looks em- braced each other with all the af- fection for which they were famous on earth. Marvelling at thc strangeness of the scene. Paladine passed on to the next cell. Here he beheld another, a young lawyer often called to the Bar, and the best halfback that ever punched a nose, John Dargavel. Safely en- sconced on his high pedestal, and perfectly comfortable in his tux and rugby helmet, John was mut- tering feverishly, Mr, Dunkley. I hadda go downtown with my brother. Paladine was frankly puzzled. How can this creatuie keep warm in this cold cavern in an outfit like that? THE OAK WOOD OR ACLE Oh, he's aping the monks tvery deepl and then he's so wrapped up in his studies. Say, Charon, l thought you had a place here for punsters, where in an opun room they are suitably punished '? We have such a place, Sir Pala- dine. One of our romances started on puns. A shabbily clothed inmate fell in love with a beautiful maid- eng he pressed his suit, he suited her and they were married tout de suite. Come on in, here they are, and to his delighted ears came words like these: Save money in the household by the buy-no-meal theorem. May 1 find sanctuary here? Sanctuary much. That Chinese girl suits me to a tea. My girl friend is named Meedy. I took her out on two dollars, im- mediate three dollars' worth. Well, Paladine, what do you think of them? Well, welll Well'? That's a deep 'un.' SirY In fact it's a deep pun Sir Paladinelu In fact it's a d-pun. Sir Paladine, you have betray- ed us. Infamous scoundrel, go! Paladine went. Jonarold. 0 pt t mmf. X' I K gr .QU -'x' .Tiff 1 . I I Lt ' ll' ill Page Fl.'fvff'!'ll
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