Oakwood Collegiate Institute - Oracle Yearbook (Toronto Ontario, Canada)

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Black 28 fspeaking of great paintersbz Why Raphael could change a smile to a frown with a single stroke of the brush. Nobe '31: That's nothing, my ole' man could do that with the back of an ordinary hair brush. Acadia Atlzcnacain Helen: Is it true that statistics prove women live longer than men '? Gimner: Well, you know, paint is a great preservative. Acaflfa ,-Itlzcizacuin Hec. Hall fAt Childslz This isn't real Italian spagetti. Fat Redmond: How do you know? Hec: Because real Italian spa- getti drops off your fork and goes wap on your plate. Acta Victoriana Beavers:Hey! Why does a stork always stand on one leg? McClean: Well? Beavers: Because if he pulled up the other he'd fall down of course. Acta l'vI'Cli0l'l.fl1IU Borrozrcd Goods Mr. Fallis: Spence, what is the highest form of animal life '? Spence: The giraffe. sir. Tcclz. Tatlcr. Gavin says: I'm glad I was born in a country where I can under- stand the language. Tlzc Alibi. Bond: Bring me some beer, waiter. Waiter: Pale? Bond: No a bottle will be enough. Alibi' The only difference between Latin and pyorrhoea is that four out of five students haven't the former. THE OAKWOOD ORACLE Bent '28: They tell me you fell from a three story window last summer and didn't hurt yourself. How was that '? Hant '28: I had my light fall overcoat on. Actia Atlzwnacrzmf Foreman: Here now, Holmes, what about carrying some bricks ?... Holmes: I'm not feeling well gov'nor, I'm trembling all over. Foreman: Well then, lend a hand with the sieve. T1zr' CoNcyza11. Gwen Anderson thinks that the flaming youth is the boy who stood on the burning deck. Midland Rcz'ir'1c Mary Black: Horse-back riding makes my head ache. Casper: That's funny, it affects me just the opposite. Ecll0r's. Wandering one: I'm lost. Red: Is there any reward out for you? Wtandering one: No. Red: Then you're still lost. Acta l'71.C'fOI'tClllfl.w It always makes me laugh So wonderful a treat To see an athlete run a mile And only move two feet. Acadia ifltlzaizacuvf' Hotel Clerk: Just in from Chi- cago, I see. Mr. Shales. Mr. Shales: No: that's a moth hole in my lapel. TIzc Lantcrnv For the dental association we suggest the slogan, Be true to your teeth or they will be false to you. Tlzc Laiztcru Page Thirty Firc

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, orrowe i' Goods X,+.l,,,? ,W 7, , The waiter, pencil poised, had stood by our table while Jack Clit'- ford and even Eileen had impatien- tly tried their French on him. But they couldn't make him under- stand. and though he grinned good-naturedly, I detected a slight irritation in his manner. We had been in the restaurant nearly thirty minutes and all were pretty linngry when l decided to pull my trump card. Casually bcckoningr the grarcon, I asked him, Dindadoo'? llis face brightened and he re- plied, uXvQl'jILll1'lS an owzurelv- lioss'? Ullokay, Nick, I answered. Now bring us stooscupshawffee, Stooklassamilka, wanrustabil sen- nawish, wanlemstooa an stoopn- kanliiis wit tserrypie ana liickrinif' Why, Arthur! exclaimed my bewildered friends, we didn'l know you could speak Greek. llow wonderful Y And as they ad'niriiigli,' leaned across the table, l modestly told them l had been studyinej restaur- ant Creek in my spare time. Eileen was tlirillefl, and later on, as we went lionic in a taxi, she let me hold llel'51lovf-tl hand, much to Clil'l'ord's fliscoml'itui'e. Why waste your time studying Fra-nr-li, Spanish or tlerznan when restaurant Greek is what you really nr-eel? You, too, gentle refifl- er, can be the leader ol' your set. 'IV-ai' oft' and mail the coupon to- day. l'nliiniterl social popularity and poise await you. Pnyr Tliirllif-Folll' -. Mr. Johnston:-What is oxygen '? Pupil tasleep since geometry per- iodj.-An eight sided figure. The Hermes 1st Former:-Ilow do you pro- nounce the p in ptomaine? Lordly Fifth :-Just like the in cat. The Hr'rn1z'.s Black:-McFarland is an op- timist. v Man :-What makes you think that '? Black 1-Ile looked at a shirt he had just got back from the laundry and said, Oh, well, We needed new lace curtains for the room any- way! Bryden-l'm going to sing in the Glee Club this year. Lockhart I-YQ21? Why you've just got a drawing-room voice. Bryden :-Sure, but I'm going to have my nose lifted so I can be heard in the balcony. Avi VI'f'f0l'1-flllllu Mr. Manning: You say that Dick Pollock has a bad cold and will be unable to attend school to- day. Who is speaking? Deep voice at the end of the line: llly father sir. Purplr' and Golf! Iii-st plot for most movies is one in the cc-iiietevy. A f-la XIl.!'l0I'I.flillfl.U

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THE OAKWOOD ORACLE Evelyn: L'p your geoma-tree. Tho Collcgianf' Eleanor: I was crossing the street the other day when I step- ped in a puddle and got my skirt wet. Hugh: Did the fall hurt you '? .-lcadia .41f1Zl'lIlfl!'llll1H Jack Scott: Say why do they call Christmas the Yule season '? Bert Moore-'Cause it means Yule have to buy this and Yule have to buy that and Yule get two handkerchiefs and a pair of socks in exchange. Acta Vz'cfo1-mud. Host: What do you think of my cigars '? I got them from an aviator. Guest: What does he use them for? Sky Writing? D. M. C. I. Brcczcs. Ethel: Where is my polygon? Hero fin broken, 21llgLllSl1-St'11C ken tonesl : Will you miss me? Voice from Peanut Gallery Not unless you duck pretty quick. D. M. C. I. Brcc.: Pomc Comes lass: Sees lad, Not so bad In class. Acts coy: Eyes brown, Chic gown, Gets boy. Her date All wet, Won't pet 3- Gets gate. T110 Rccorrlci Zlutumn mints When autumn winds are blowing There is something in the air That sets my feet a-dancing, My thoughts fly everywhere. I feel just like the gayest leaf That sails on the western breeze, I feel just like a fleecy cloud Far away above the trees. H. S. K., VB. w h-5 pm 1' J ' tx UQ' Oi: I 7 It , E. ' The Sr-ilu-L Hr-J The Ungar, Pffffr' Thi I'f.lj-S1117