Notre Dame High School - Marian Yearbook (Chattanooga, TN)

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The Inquirer Prophesies . . Here it is - the August, '86 edition of the Irish Inquirer! Read about gossip, scandals, and successes of ND's finest class! Get ready for a mind-boggling experience! SHEA STADIUM BRA WL LEA VES THREE DEAD, MAN YJAILED! At the opening Mets - Cards game, baseball turned to violence as ace Vecker Badacour beaned land killedj batter G. Darrow. In the ensuing riot lady ump K. Gribben was battered to death by players T Bodkin and S. MacDougall. A spectator, B. Kistler, was stampeded underfoot by a raging mob, led by ringleader M. Mahoney, vendor Mike Cate was jailed for kissing women fans. J. Brooksbank and E. O'Connell, attorneys for the defense, said the case looks hopeless. COMM UNIST TAKE O VER IN TENNESSEE! Arranged Cjust for kicksl by devious D. Majoras and underhanded aides A. Sawyer and A. Garland the state today fell victim to a Commie plot. Wild-eyed D. Mitchell and poison-pen A. Winer immediately published a manifesto. Sucker C. Kiefer fell for a Pinko girl and married her. Chris Nowell performed the ceremony. Local residents E. Robbins and Shannon Lewis commented, Well, RED isn't all bad! 1996 TREND: WOMEN S UPPORTMEN! A recent Gallup poll showed that women are supporting their spouses, not the reverse! C. Homar and L. Donovan, for instance, making megabucks as models, Pres. Mary Hughes and Chrysler executive T Rambalakos are big bosses, journalist H. Thomas and actress K. Owens easily support their guys. On the other side of the coin are a few househusbands: failed Chicago gangsters Z. Crowder and M. Mirabellag soccer socialite M. Boutwell, and off-again, on-again gigolos A. Boehm and M. McBrayer. These mates get cash from their women! P.S.: G. Dossett and James Hands have similar arrangements JE T SE TTERS THROWBIG BAHAMA BASH! A huge social event took place with winners, losers, and entertainers. J. Gaynor and J. Cook lost their shirts on the roulette wheel, spun by croupier D. Johnson. Bouncer H. Sompayrac eliminated riff-raff while go-go dancer L. DeBoer livened things up. Congratulations to big winners S. Davies, M. A. Lory, and K. Durham! Lotsa diamonds in this crowd! Unfortunately, D. Denton 's jewelry was stolen by diamond thief C. Florek, who sold it to power-pawnbroker S. Westbrooks. CONSTR UCT ION CRE W WRECKS DOWNTOWN CHA TT ANOOGA! Dateline Rivercity: the Tivoli, Miller's, and the James Bldg. are no more, thanks to construction boss B. Brown and his demolition crew: sod-busters D. Poole, J. Blevins, C. Sullivan, and .L Bryden. Decorators K Fawcett and M. L. Portera plan to straighten up the mess. So sad that bad drivers L. Ruck, S. Fargo, and Meg Johnston ran over so many gawking pedestrians. In addition, a crime wave hit Rivercity when T Elliott and D. Eady were attacked on a bus, S. Iorio, P. Herdy, and J. Fleetwood were fed poisoned pickle juice, T Hickey and S. Higgins were kidnapped on their way to the Roundhouse, Terence Lewis and C. Morgan were mugged in the mall, and A. Wehunt was firecrackered in South Pittsburg. WHO ARE THE CRIMINALS? FBI NAMES TEN TO MOST WAN TED LIST' Huge rewards are being offered for suave J. Tatum and Becky Webb, notorious cat burglars, and for '6Murder on the High Seas C. Varner. Also dangerous are con artists C. Bain and Janna Thomas, S. Ptacin, the plotting pyromaniac, porno king R. Putman, graverobber H. Niemanng and Credit Card C'Ripoff J L. Richards. The worst criminal, of course, is Babyface Nelson. What a BAA-ADD class!

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an-my -sv l,n ai. I gi-N, , 'P' Move dirt - Britt Brown Get stuck on each other - 4 C. Homar, D. Ward Most Likely to . . RE N355 5 Iii deaf-Bob Badacour Brown bag it forever - Heather Thomas , lv. nc ,- W K I g-'X r , , in .yy , gig , A, Ac ' U , rorr - A U . , I X.. 5 Vg ,L 5 ff ' o,-o , so Start a war -- Chris Varner H ,' 0 Be a parasite - Billy Kistler 123

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HALF OF HOLL YWOOD ON STRIKE! Star J. Louisell walked off the set of Mr. Rogersl' Neighborhood Revisited today, asking for higher salaries. Stuntmen land womenj joining the walkoff were L. Murphy, Jenny Stolz, R. Riemer, and C. Osburng and elephant-trainer K. Newton refused to work. On the nearby set of Grayskull's Grandson, stars D. Jones and Kim Smith wouldn't grant interviews. Some shots were filmed of T Schremp1ApemanJ, however. Co- producers Julie Smith and S. Stern said they would complete the picture even if they had to hire real actors. TVRA TINGS HIT CEILING FOR NE WSHO W' Miami Vice regulars T Dixon, C. Huffman, A. Whaley, and C. Talley are sweating it now that the new smash, Hilton Head Empire, is so successful Billionaire K. Lajerty says the show does well because of its realistic cast: L. Bickel is the matriarch B Brock and T Musick are her nasty daughters P Thompson is the other woman Also starring are D Casteen as the dumb but rich husband and M Terrell as a lovable thug Since D Nicol spent so much time in the darkroom he was replaced by SNAP F znnegan cameraman H OSTA GES FALL F OR KIDNAPPERS'Datel1ne London fear stalked a trendy hotel today as terrorists S Austin H Booth and M Watkins blew up a room or two and made captives of C Schalm K Kilgore and L Pickard Fake waiters D Gzllzgan and I Patton and posing as maids E Rezsz and L Russian helped the terrorists with their plans It was also discovered that munitions experts Ricky Smith and S Stoller were part of the plot Skilled diplomats C Sehon and L Mattox are hoping that the villains will announce wedding plans any minute COMPUTER IN VEN TS NE WANIMAL' Brilliant scientist B Callahan and his lab assistant T Utley announce a recent breakthrough in animal breeding the Base 2 Beast Bamworkers Becky Hope and B Meeks called the creature fantastic and thanked trainers J Trageser and C Schwezkart for whipping the beasts into shape Veterinarian S Brown will inoculate the beasts then they will go to the circus to be ridden by bareback daredevils J Weller K White and K Kennedy ALL FEMALE SPA CE MISSION' Dateline Outer Space financed by wealthy space buffs P Willingham and R Lerner the space capsule Minerva discovered a new planet this week Captain Maureen White and crew members T Erwin and K Bellenfant reported the planet as preppy The soil is pink but the inhabitants IA Wzndle Gina Green of course andJ Wzlsonj are green The place 1S quite rustic and one alien Shannon O Neill led the Earthlings to a Lodge FORTUNE TELLER NE VER WRONG' Mystical Madame Sheila I O Keefej has successfully forecast many strange items Here are a few M Lambert and W Wyatt would smother to death while mud wrestling D Trzbble would become a rich TV evangelist M Crutch would be Secretary General of the UN Further B Laudeman would get mashed trying to turn the Emerald City of Oz pink and D Wara' would own a vast vegetation producing plantation 1n Peru CShe also predicted that no one would graduate in 86 and that chickens would soon have six legs but never mind J KEEP READING THE INQUIRER' Coming up in our next issue four headed boy enters ND 142 people cloned teaching of English declared illegal' Remember for all the news not fit to print read the INQUIRER' . ss ' sa, - , ' cc , . . , . ,, . . . . . . . . . H ,, . . . , , . l Q . , . . . . . . , . , . . , . , . . u - ' ' . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ' ' ' 66 99 T . 66 ' 99 ' . . . . . . . . . . . . . . , . . . . . . , . , . . . 0 . , . . . . 66 . ,, . . . , . . . . . . 56 ,, . . . . . . . . , D , T i . . . . . . , . . ' 3 9 1 66 99 . . . , . . . . . . . . . I . . . D - , 0 , 0 - 0 , c . . . . . . , . 3 . . . , . . 9 . . . . . . O o - , . . . . . 3 ' 7 7 .