North East High School - Crown Yearbook (North East, MD)

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MINUTES OF 1977 ALUMNI MEETING The twentieth annual reunion of the Class of '57 was held in the new Senior High School located at State Park. President Charles Loving Qwho, incidently, flew in his private jet-propelled Super-Constellation from Venezuela, where he is president of Loving Oil Refineriesy called the meeting to order. Bob Phillips, the treasurer, read the class balance as being 3000, 000,000.00. This was quite a difference from the usual astronomical figures of light years in which he usually deals: for after graduating from Georgia Tech. , he was appointed coordinator for the newest project conceming the latest earth satellite, known as Phillips' Fo1ly. The next business on hand was the secretary's report, which was read by Janet Hud- son, who is the head of U.S. Central Intelligence and is now living in Moscow, Russia. She reported to the class that since we had always been such a curious class, a private detective had been hired to keep tabs on our fellow students after graduation. At this time Carolyn Edmanson, vice president of the class, introduced the detective. Carolyn, by the way, has given up teaching to take up housekeeping for her husband, Bill Kirk, now Secretary of Commerce. The detective was none other than Leon Stevens, the chief investigator for the Scrounge-Around -Detective Agency. He reported the fol- lowing concerning the activities of '57 'ersx First to be interviewed was Paul Ward, sitting in his luxurious penthouse fashioned after the musical gas pumps which have made his nationwide Tessungulf chain stations famous. Paul purchases the chewing gum he distributes at his stations from the Snap, Crackle, Pot Chewing Gum Factory owned by Lewis Potter. Shirley Heath, the present Ambassadress to Norway, traveled to the U.S. on the famous atomic submarine, Rusty Can, commanded by Barry Heisler as part of his practical training before he takes over the command post at Waterlog, Connecticut. They were greeted by Virginia Ward, who is now writing a TV soap opera serial called, CORN, CORN, CORN FLAKES. Doris Guy has just arrived from her Parisian sketching assignment, where she made drawings of Betty Payne's newest fashion creations. Betty has just designed a complete wardrobe for Eleanor Winland, who tops the listiof the best dressed women in the U. S. Hershel Armour, Secretary of Defense, buzzes his house in his jet every day so Jeannette will know at what time to start dinner. Mary Ellen Dennison, now working in New York as executive secretary to John Baresfoot Tipton, has taken the afternoon off t0 see Jerry Kahl, Rookie of the Year, and third baseman for the Emerson Yankees. Ruth Ann Graybeal has originated the hair style which is the rage among Hollywood socialites. Barbara Gatchell, the guinea pig for Ruth's brainstorms, is now sporting the pigtail shag. Edith Anderson Gorron has recently won the Whitewall Derby at Black Dust City. She was the only participant. Buck Bronco Edwards, the idol of the lollipop set, was recently chosen King of the Cowboys. Buck is a modem cowboy - no gung no horse. Heading the Physical Education Department of Istanbul, not Constantinople, is Norma Bailey. Norma is handicapped because she isn't familiar with the bull of the Istan- bulians. When leon spied a bright red Pierce-Arrow, he knew at once it was Pauline Mac- Guinness Bryant's. Flagging her down he discovered that she was en route to Lois Mc- Kenney Pinder's house. That afternoon they were visiting Paula Jones Streaker in her new 330, 000 split-level home, which had just been completed by the Ray Nieminem We - Do -It-Ourselves Contractors. Rodney Guiberson, an expert farmer, plowed up a skull dating back before the Piltup Man. Allan Guy, curator of the National Archeological Museum, after careful investiga-

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tion, announced that it was not the discovery of the century, but the hoax of the century. John Leveredge, after absorbing too much Shakespere, had decided to re-enact the Yorick scene from HAMLET. At John Hopkins, James Bailey, who also deals with bones, still taking seriously his role in CAMPUS QUARANTINE, is head surgeon, and Kay Plummer is the leading psychiatric nurse. Hope Dennison Reynolds, now manager of Libby's, was seen boarding her private plane for her annual buying spree in Europe. Joe Wharton has dedicated his latest literary work, SIXTH PERIOD IN THE LIBRARY, to Mr. Kelley, our Senior Class sponsor. After the Kentucky Derby, Gary Pete Crouch, accepted solid gold argyle socks and belt for his winning horse, Tennessee. Martha Lewis Van den Heuvel, excelling in baby care, was crowned Mrs. America. She has three sets of twins. Lewis Isaac, professor of mathematics at Harvard and developer of the new theorem of determining the world's population - count toes and divide by ten - is now counting toes. He claims his class is so dumb that if they stood in a circle the government would investigate them for being a dope ring. Virginia Schirling is still marveling over her twentieth gold record. Her latest hit is Three Seeing Gophers. Bernice Moore has been her accompanist for several years. Bernice's arrangement of Boogie Woogie has been the biggest hit of Tin Pan Avenue in years. Morf has definitely retained one high school traitg she can still be seen driving up one street and down the next. Catherine Wood's ability in English has secured for her a position as professor of English at Columbia University. Betty Wood Holmes has recently moved into Hathaway Terrace and is making new friends. She has made many valuable contributions to civic affairs. Patsy Funk Phillips and her husband Glenn have just arrived in California in their yellow trailer. Violet Gestewitz Moore will probably visit Patsy on her way to Hawaii, where she is to meet her husband. Pat Simmons is now with the world renowned Radio City Rockettes. Another '5'7er who has really traveled is Joan Wright Gibson. Immediately after graduating, she was married and has resided in Florida ever since. Lucky girl! Pat Ott was chosen by the Boston Fire Department as the Redhead Most Likely to Set the World on Fire. Billie Lee Hines is the only American Model modeling Christian Dior's fabulous creation. She is scheduled to return to America to help the fashion editor of the Wilming ton News Journal, Susan Williams, do a series on European Dressing as opposed no the American method. Marily Hammond, who rang the bells in our Senior play, liked it so much she is now striking the chimes for N.B.C. Gail Blomquist's taste for clothes has made her buyer for Saks Fifth Avenue in New York. And by the way, Valin Best was just elected to his fifth term as senator from Vir- ginia. Verla Kline and Shirley Hart have opened a public stenographic firm in Dallas and are doing so well they are thinking of investing in an oil well. Connie Hollister has devised a new technique which is replacing shorthand in the high schools and colleges of the country. She calls is Shortfinger because only very short students with very short fingers can leam it. After Leon's report on activities, a motion was accepted that the meeting be ad- journed until the next meeting on June 11, 1997.