North East High School - Crown Yearbook (North East, MD)

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MINUTES OF 1977 ALUMNI MEETING The twentieth annual reunion of the Class of '57 was held in the new Senior High School located at State Park. President Charles Loving Qwho, incidently, flew in his private jet-propelled Super-Constellation from Venezuela, where he is president of Loving Oil Refineriesy called the meeting to order. Bob Phillips, the treasurer, read the class balance as being 3000, 000,000.00. This was quite a difference from the usual astronomical figures of light years in which he usually deals: for after graduating from Georgia Tech. , he was appointed coordinator for the newest project conceming the latest earth satellite, known as Phillips' Fo1ly. The next business on hand was the secretary's report, which was read by Janet Hud- son, who is the head of U.S. Central Intelligence and is now living in Moscow, Russia. She reported to the class that since we had always been such a curious class, a private detective had been hired to keep tabs on our fellow students after graduation. At this time Carolyn Edmanson, vice president of the class, introduced the detective. Carolyn, by the way, has given up teaching to take up housekeeping for her husband, Bill Kirk, now Secretary of Commerce. The detective was none other than Leon Stevens, the chief investigator for the Scrounge-Around -Detective Agency. He reported the fol- lowing concerning the activities of '57 'ersx First to be interviewed was Paul Ward, sitting in his luxurious penthouse fashioned after the musical gas pumps which have made his nationwide Tessungulf chain stations famous. Paul purchases the chewing gum he distributes at his stations from the Snap, Crackle, Pot Chewing Gum Factory owned by Lewis Potter. Shirley Heath, the present Ambassadress to Norway, traveled to the U.S. on the famous atomic submarine, Rusty Can, commanded by Barry Heisler as part of his practical training before he takes over the command post at Waterlog, Connecticut. They were greeted by Virginia Ward, who is now writing a TV soap opera serial called, CORN, CORN, CORN FLAKES. Doris Guy has just arrived from her Parisian sketching assignment, where she made drawings of Betty Payne's newest fashion creations. Betty has just designed a complete wardrobe for Eleanor Winland, who tops the listiof the best dressed women in the U. S. Hershel Armour, Secretary of Defense, buzzes his house in his jet every day so Jeannette will know at what time to start dinner. Mary Ellen Dennison, now working in New York as executive secretary to John Baresfoot Tipton, has taken the afternoon off t0 see Jerry Kahl, Rookie of the Year, and third baseman for the Emerson Yankees. Ruth Ann Graybeal has originated the hair style which is the rage among Hollywood socialites. Barbara Gatchell, the guinea pig for Ruth's brainstorms, is now sporting the pigtail shag. Edith Anderson Gorron has recently won the Whitewall Derby at Black Dust City. She was the only participant. Buck Bronco Edwards, the idol of the lollipop set, was recently chosen King of the Cowboys. Buck is a modem cowboy - no gung no horse. Heading the Physical Education Department of Istanbul, not Constantinople, is Norma Bailey. Norma is handicapped because she isn't familiar with the bull of the Istan- bulians. When leon spied a bright red Pierce-Arrow, he knew at once it was Pauline Mac- Guinness Bryant's. Flagging her down he discovered that she was en route to Lois Mc- Kenney Pinder's house. That afternoon they were visiting Paula Jones Streaker in her new 330, 000 split-level home, which had just been completed by the Ray Nieminem We - Do -It-Ourselves Contractors. Rodney Guiberson, an expert farmer, plowed up a skull dating back before the Piltup Man. Allan Guy, curator of the National Archeological Museum, after careful investiga-