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lust give me a man
With a million or two
Or one who is handsome
Would happily do.
A dashing young fellow
Is swell any day.
Or one who is famous
Would suit me okay.
But if the man shortage
Should get any worse
Go back to the very
First line of this verse.
Mr. Knapp: "lack Carpenter, go to the
front of the room and make a speech
lack: "lVIr. Chairman, and friends,
football is - was - well - ugh - ugh.
Gee, Mr. Knapp, why not give me a
subject I know something aboutl"
Did you hear about the little moron
Had all his teeth pulled so he could
have more gum to chew?
Thought that Western Union was the
underwear cowboys wore?
Professor: "Are there any dumbells in
the room?" A long pause followed and
then a freshman rose.
Professor: "Why do you consider
yourself a dumbell?"
Freshman: "Well, not exactly that,
but I hate to see you standing alone."
It has often been said that God made
man after the monkey. I think God
made monkey because he was dis-
gusted with man.
Two Negro soldiers were sitting in a
foxhole out in no man's land during an
enemy shelling and this is what they
Bastus: "What you scared about
black boy? Look at me, I ain't scared.
l know none of them shells is got my
name wrote on it."
Blackout: "Listen man, I know none
of them shells got my name on 'em."
Bastus: "Well, what you worried 'bout
Blackout: "It's de ones marked 'to
whom it may concern' thats botherin'
Page One Hundred Forty-fix
Proverb: A modest girl never chases
a man, nor does a mousetrap chase a
Bathing Beauty-Msomething worth
"Here lies the body of Samuel A.
Proposed to Louise and called her
"Oh, Chester, dear, why did you have
to turn out the light?"
"I wanted to see if my pipe was still
Elevator man: "Here is your floor my
Young boy: "What do you mean?
I'm not your boy and you're not my
Elevator man: "Don't get angry. I
brought you up didn't I?"
What would a man be doing if he
got up at two o'clock in the morninq
to write poetry?"
"Going from bed to verse."
The ballplayers in a western city
were delighted by the news that the
army had classified their most promin-
ent umpire 4F. Reason: Faulty vision.
At a military funeral the aged mother
of the deceased fainted as the volley
was fired. "My gosh, they've shot
Grandma," shouted the little boy.
A man ordered steak and was asked
by the waiter, "And how did you find
He answered, "Oh, I just happened
to lift up one of the potatoes and there
A group of English soldiers and a
Negro soldier were indulging in a
friendly game of poker.
First soldier: "I say, l'll bet a pound."
Second soldier: "Well, old top, l'll bet
Negro: "I don't know how you gentle-
men bet your money, but I raises you