New London High School - Whaler Yearbook (New London, CT)

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BULKELEY NEWS 19 It was the dinner-hour, and the prison inspectors were hurrying over their official round. They asked several questions quickly. “I am here, gentlemen,” explained the pick-pocket, when the warden turned his back, ‘‘as the result of a moment of abstraction.” ‘‘And I,” observed the incendiary, ‘‘because of an unfortunate habit of making light of things.” ‘‘The reason I am here,” chimed in the forger, ‘‘is simply on account of a natural desire to make a name for myself.” ‘‘And I,” added the burglar, ‘‘through nothing but taking advantage of an opening which was offered in a large mercantile establishment.” Heard at W. M. I. Emmy—‘‘I’ve got an invite to the Bul-keley Dance, but not the least idea what I am to go in. What would you wear if you had my complexion?” Fanny—“A thick veil.” Marion—‘‘When you refused him my hand, papa, did he get down on his knees?” Dad—‘‘Well, I didn’t notice just where he lit.” “How do you stand in your class, Willie?” “All right; I’m going into the middleweight soon.” “How can you expect to drive that nail with the heel of a shoe?” inquired Newlywed of his spouse. “Use your head !” Then he wondered why she wouldn’t speak to him the rest of the day. Willis—“Does Bump come of a distinguished lineage ?” Gillis—“You bet. His family were buccaneers in the 18th century, privateers in the 19th, and profiteers in the 20th. Principal—“How much do you expect a week for teaching ?” Prof.—“Well, I should not consider anything under $50.” Principal—“Ye Gods ! Do you think you’re the janitor ?” Editor—“Your reports should be written so as the most ignorant could read them.” Reporter—“What part is it you don’t understand ?” Rensselaer Established 1824 Troy N. Y. Polytechnic Institute Engineering and Science Courses in Civil Engineering (C. E.), Mechanical Engineering (M. E.), Electrical Engineering (E. E.), Chemical Engineering (Ch. E.), and General Science (B. S.). Also Graduate and Special Courses. Unsurpassed new Chemical Physical, Electrical, Mechanical and Materials Testing Laboratories. For catalogue and illustrated pamphlets showing work of graduates and students and views of buildings and campus, apply to JOIIIS' W. NUGENT, Registrar. Mathematics. “They say those Spanish Hidalgos used to go two thousand miles on a gallon.” “Well, I never believe half I hear about foreign cars.”

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18 BULKELEY NEWS spanking being done alternately bv them. McInnis at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter—“What do you think you have done to merit everlasting peace?” McInnis—“Well, I have never put any buttons in collections; never have I refused to escort a lady to her domicile. When beggars have asked me for aid, I have given it,—sometimes. Although occasionally I have ‘cleaned up’ naughty ‘Sophs’, I have apologized for it afterwards and----” St. Peter—“It is no use, Mortal, you do not belong here.” McInnis—“But, Pete, I played on a team that beat Norwich Free Academy.” St. Peter—“Why didn’t you say so at first? Here are the keys, pick out any room in the place.” Round—“I’m the flower of my family all right.” Whiton—“I wonder if that’s what your brother meant yesterday when he said you were a blooming idiot?” The gods invented sleep—then some fool conjured np the alarm clock. Berger—“I asked my French teacher for a higher mark but she refused it.” Ryan—“Too bad. Perhaps you didn’t approach her at the zoological moment.” She told me she had ne’er deen kissed, Such a shameful thing aroused my ire, She will not tell the tale again, Because I know she’s not a liar ! A boy wrote a composition on the subject of the Quakers, whom he described as a sect who never quarreled, never got into a fight, never clawed each other, and never jawed back. The production contained a postcript in these words : “Pa’s a Quak- er, but ma isn’t.” threw a cake at me. One that I made myself, too!” Mother—“The monster ! He might have killed you.” Is there a word in the English language that contains all the vowels ? Yes, unquestionably. “Here’s something queer,” said the dentist. “You say this tooth has never been worked on before, but I find small flakes of gold on my instrument.” “I think you have struck my back collar button,” replied the victim. P. Farrell entered a grocery store and said to the clerk: “Take this order, io lbs. sugar at 6 cents, u lbs. coffee at 25 cents. 8 lbs. tea at 30 cents. Add that up. How much is it ?” Clerk—“Five dollars.” P. Farrell—“Are you sure?” Clerk—“Of course I’m sure.” P. Farrel—“Thanks. That’s my arithmetic lesson for to-morrow.” “It’s only natural, isn’t it?” “What?” “That a fellow who sits on a tack should make a few pointed remarks.” How may book-keeping be taught in a lesson of three words ? Never lend them. A girl went into a store to buy garters. “What kind?” “Rubber.” “I’d lose my job if I did.” “Mandy, fo’ de Lawd’s sake, don’t let dem chickens outer dis yard. Shut dat gate.” “What fur, Aleck; dey’ll come home, won’t dey ?” “Deed dey won’t. Dey’ll go home.” Mrs. Newbride—“Boo, hoo! H e r y

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20 BULKELEY NEWS ATMLETIGS FRED FITCH Captain 1919 V TELL BOYS, the football sea- son is over and surely we must be proud of its result. It was a victorious season; one that should never be forgotten; one that should be written in the annals of the school; and one that in the future will be the source of many happy recollections. Yes ! in the very first week of training nearly twenty-five huskies reported daily. This squad was soon molded into two well organized, trained, and playing teams. Practice and scrimmage was given every day, under the supervision of THEODORE BRITTON Manager 1919 Coach Phillips, and soon the teams were ready for the fray. The student body, faculty, and alumni supported the team in every manner, and school spirit was never more evident. Out of seven games; five were glorious victories; one an honest defeat, and one a shameful tie. Much credit should go to our wonderful playing manager and fighting captain for in all contests they set a brilliant example and proved to the school that they were worthy of their positions. Without a doubt the stellar per-fo.'.nerof Bulkeley this year was