New London High School - Whaler Yearbook (New London, CT)

Page 32 text:

30 bulkeley news Teacher—I’ll bet you haven’t looked at your lesson.” Bailey—‘‘No, I’ve overlooked it.” A Taee of Prohibition. ‘‘What ale9 the porter?” ‘‘His young daughter wines all the time, and he i9 going home to liquor.” Since I received your S. O. S., I hold your I. O. U. Remit to me, R. S. V. P. And do it P. D. Q. McD—‘‘Say, who wrote the most—Dickens, Warren, or Bulwer Lytton?” Mcl—“I couldn’t tell you; who did?” McD—‘‘Why, Dickens, of course.” Mcl—“How do you know that ?” McD—‘‘Why, Warren wrote ‘Now and Then’; Bulwer Lytton wrote ‘Night and Morning’; but Dickens wrote ‘All the Year Round’.” You can lead a girl to the ballroom, but you can’t make her fox-trot. One of Oipstibn’s Funny (?) Jokes. Mr. Stevens—‘‘Remove what you have in your mouth.” Gpi—“I cannot.” Mr. S. (impatiently)—‘‘Why not ?” Gip—“It’s a tooth-ache.” Steward (on steamship)—“Your lunch will be up in a minute.” Joe (seasick)—“So will my breakfast.” In Chemistry. Prof.—“Name three things that contain starch.” Young—“Two collars and a cuff.” Little drops of water Frozen on the walk Make the naughty adjetftives Mix in people’s talk. Mr. Lawrence—“What makes well water hard?” Wadleigh—“Being so low down.” Soph.—“I kissed her when she wasn’t looking.” Fresh.—“What did she do?” Soph.—“Kept her eyes closed the rest of the evening.” Old Gent—“Little boy, I am sorry to see you smoking a cigarette.” Woodworth—“I ain’t smoking it. I’m keeping it alight for another feller what’s gone on an errand.” “What is the slipperiest thing in the world ?” “Why, two eels wrestling on a cake of ice.” Sullivan—“If I only had money, I’d travel.” She—“How much do you need ?” rv t Established 1824 RensselaerN v Polytechnic Engineering and Science IllollllilC Courses in Civil Engineering (C. E.), Meehan ical Engineering (M. E.), Electrical Engineering (E. E.), Chemical Engineering (Ch. E.), and Gen eral Science (B. S.). Also Graduate and Special Courses. Unsurpassed new Chemical Physical, Electrical, Mechanical and Materials Testing Labora tories. For catalogue and illustrated pamphlets show ing work of graduates and students and views of buildings and campus, apply to JOICN W. NUGENT. H« atiN rar.

Page 31 text:

BULKELEY NEWS 29 “Never mind, papa,” said young Bab-bidge, “when I grow up I’ll be a highway man.” “Did your sweetheart receive you warmly last night ?” “No, but her father did.” “How wag that ?” “He fired me.” “Permit me, then, to die at your feet!” Wadleigh cried desperately. Marion shivered. “I see no objection to that,” she answered, “All papa said was that you mustn’t hang around here.” De Biasi—“What is the difference between the admission to a dime museum and the admission to Sing Sing ?” Fresh—“Don’t know. What?” De Biasi—“One is ten cents and the other is sentence.” LATIN ENGLISH history FRENCH physics Miner—“I gave a foot-ball player one dollar to-day.” Belden—“Did you get it back ?” Miner—“No; I got it half-back.” “What is the secret of success?” asked the Sphinx. “Push,” said the Button. “Never be led,” said the Pencil. “Take pains,” said the Window. “Always keep cool,” said the Ice. “Be up to date,” said the Calendar. “Never lose your head,” said the Barrel. “Make light of everything,” said the Fire. “Do a driving business,’, said the Hammer. “Aspire to greater things,” said the Nutmeg. “Be sharp in your dealings,” said the Knife. “Find a good thing and stick to it,” gaid the Glue. “Do the work you are suited for,” said the Chimney. His Bit. Said the “skeeler” to his vidtim, As on his nose he lit, “You will pardon my intrusion— I am here to do my ‘bit’.” Fakoury '22 (?) was seen reading “The Son of Tarzan”. Was he trying to trace his ancestry ? Miss Carr—“Jimmy, give me a sentence with the word ‘seldom’ in it.” Fresh—“My father had a couple of calves, but he selled ’em.” AN INCIDENT OF THB FaM DANCE. “Who is the belle, tonight?” asked she As they stood on the ballroom floor, He looked around the room to see— She speaks to him no more. Fitch (trying to be complimentary)— “Really, you know you’re just ripping.” Fair one (anxiously)—“Goodness gracious! Where?” Lawrence—“I just got a letter from my brother. He’s somewhere in France.” Cody—“Huh ! It’s just like that guy to get lost over there.” Whiton’s wife was very sick. She wrote to her husband as follows : “Beans dear, I am going to Heaven and you will never see me again.” Saunders—“I’ve got to write a theme on the Muses. What is the name of the Muse of Dance ?” Donovan—“St. Vitus.”

Page 33 text:

BULKELEY NEWS 31 EARLY ENGLISH EVENTS. Note: Selected from a number of Junior history papers as the best essay—for many reasons. A T a very early stage, England was named by the Angels. In 400 years D. A. Julius Seizer invaded into England and drove the Kelts from England into Whales. The Brittons were the Saxons who entered into England in 1492 under Canut. They came from Brittany. They were brave and warlike people who engaged in cock fighting and also lived by fishing and manufacturing. After a long seige on Julius Seizer they beat him and ignominiously drove him off the country. England was then left in a rude state by the Druids who held religious services out of doors. The Druids were like the I. W. W., except they had no unions. At this time Alfred the Large rained in 272 years. He became famous by letting some pancakes burn on a Dane. Because of this deed he was made a king. The throne was later succeeded by William the Consumptive who was the first of the Mormons. Later England was rained by Rufus, who was named William because his hair was read. Edward the Black Prince founded shivalry which is a fight on horseback between to horsemen. These were sometimes called krusades because they fort in tornados. A nite errand is a man similar to a telegraph boy only he goes out in the nite to search adventures. Another famous king was Henry eight. He was a great widow having lost several wives. Lady Jane Grey studied Greek, Latin and German and after a few days was beheaded. Queen Mary also died. Elizabeth was called the Virgin Queen because of Virginia. She was pretty. Near a vampire but didn’t marry. She also wore a lot of clothes and had a lot. ECHOES FROM PARODY HALL To the tune of “Smiles” There are marks they make with black ink There are marks they make with red There are marks that set us a---way back Like the goose eggs we do drea-d There are marks that give you higher standing That the folks at home a’-like to 6ee But the marks that fill my card with scarlet Are the marks that they give to me. — T. Gannon