New London High School - Whaler Yearbook (New London, CT)

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24 BULKELEY NEWS Soph.—“Why does the poem “Camus” remind you of a brewery?” Senior—“Because it speaks of “waterv bier.” If. If you don’t feel just right. If you don’t sleep all night. If you moan and sigh. If your throat is dry. If you can’t smoke or chew, If your food tastes like glue. If your heart don’t beat, If you’ve got cold feet, If your head’s in a whirl, Why don’t you marry the girl ? —Exchange. Examiner—“How is South America divided ?” Pupil—“By earthquakes.” In Chemistry. Student—“Will T. N. T. burn without exploding ?” Mr. L.— “I am not a bit curious.” Heard in Commercial German. Frau Moll—“Decline the verb ‘verschla-ffen’.” Spicer—“All right. I decline with thanks.” News Literary Colnmn. All Story......................Whitcomb Modern Priscilla..........Henkle Scott Good Housekeeping.........Harold O’Neil Ladies Home Companion..............Boss Our Little Ones........McEnaney, Avery New Boy...................... Hamilton Musician......................Ockooneff Vogue...........................Yarvots Saturday Even. Post (W. Mystic).... Davis Physical Culture...............Polinsky Farm Journal...................Copeland Stenographer...................J. Lyons Boston American (comic sheet).....Soltz Unpopular Review (demerits) . ..Ockooneff Twentieth Century..............Babbidge NEWS CLASSIFIED COLUMN. Rates: Half-Cknt a Page. LOST—Harmony; finder please return to Harry Slutsky, Leader Bulkeley Orchestra. WANTED-—Man with wooden leg to mix bread. Apply Box M. WANTED—Fifty deaf mutes, to attend a musical and social, given by the Banjo-Mandolin Club. Seniors. Man was made from dust. Dust settles.— Are you a man? Then why don’t you settle uy for your class dues? Queer. “Every time the baby looks into my face, he smiles,” said Babbidge. “Well,” answered his wife, “it may not be exactly polite, but it shows he has a sense of humor.” The boy stood on the burning deck, The deck he refused to leave. He didn’t care if the deck burned down. He had another up his sleeve. “I hear Utley is is going to move his store.” That’s Utley impossible.” “How so?” “Why, Utley’s is a stationery stere.”

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li ULKELE Y NE WS 2S Davis—“I don’t see how you keep up in your studies. You work every afternoon and night.” Ockooneff—‘‘I don’t work, I play.” (Ockooneff plays the piano in the Empire Orchestra). Wadleigh—“I see here in the paper they are printing a list of people who are going to do without any more sugar. McBride—‘‘Let’s see it.” Wadleigh—‘‘There it is,” he said, as he handed over the page containing the obituaries, and hurriedly retreated. My sense of sight is very keen. My sense of hearing weak, One time I saw a mountain pass But did not hear its peak. Why, Ollie, that you failed in this Is not so very queer, To hear its peak, you should, you know, Have had a mountaineer. The mountain, peaked at this Frowned dark while Ollie gazed, A cloud o’erspread its lofty brow, And then the mountain side. If Ollie could not hear its peak. Or song of any bird, Of lambs or crows, upon its slope, Be sure the mountain herd. —Predecessor. Heard at the Senior Dance. H. O’Neill—‘‘Isn’t the floor wonderful?” Fain One (glancing at her pumps)—‘‘Yes, why don’t you dance on it ? The boy stood on the burning deck, The deck he refused to leave. He didn’t care if the deck burned down,— He had one up his sleeve. Professor—“O’Neil, Murphy, and Goldberg, 1,11 demerit both of you.” She—“So many men marry for money, now-a-days. You wouldn’t marry me for money, would you, Ted?” Britton (unconsciously)—“No, dear, I wouldn’t marry you for all the money in the world.” And when Ted woke up he wondered what he had said. Professor—“What makes the sea green?” Babbidge—“That’s too deep for me.” Teacher—“You have a wonderful base voice.” Durivan—“I’d much rather have a soprano; you know it’s much higher toned.” At the Senior Dance. He—“Who is that funny-looking old man standing over there by the punch bowl ?” She—Sh ! that’s my father.” Senior—“Is your brother very tall ?” Freshie—“Tall! Why, the other day, I was looking at him in a crowd and I saw a piece of thread hanging from one of his coat-tails.” It is rumored that when D---’18, wos first detailed aboard ship, he heard the bo’s’wn sing out: “All hands on deck.” Whereupon D------- threw himself face downward with his hands pressed upon the deck and the crew stepped all over him as they tumbled on deck.

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li ULKELE Y NE TF 25 What do you think would happen if—■ There was perfect harmony between the faculty and the pupils? The lunch counter really sold nourishing food? Vocational ever beat Bulkeley? They took Room 9 away from us? Boser wasn’t on the honor roll? We had a perfect recitation in English? Bulkeley and W. M. I. were turned into a Co-Ed? Mallou was on time? McCraw would play a popular air? They seized all of the school’s coal? Clarence Gray didn’t make a success of a thing? An “If” for Girls. (With Apologies to Rudyard Kipling) If you can dress to make yourself attra 5live, Yet not make puffs and curls your chief delight. If you can swim and row, be strong and adtive, But of the gentler graces lose no sight; If you can dance, without a craze for dancing, Play, without giving play too strong a hold, Enjoy the love of friends without romancing, Care for the weak, the friendless, and the old; If you can master French, Greek, and Latin, And not acquire as well, a piggish mienr If you can feel the touch of silk and satin, Without dispising calico and jean; If you can ply a saw, and use a hammer, Can do a man’s work when the need occurs, Can sing, when asked, without excuse or stammer, Can rise above unfriendly snubs and slurs; If you can make good bread as well as fudges, Can sew with skill, and have an eye for dust; If you can be a friend, and hold no grudges, A girl whom all will love because they mvst; If, sometime, you should meet and love another And make a home with faith and peace enshrined, And you, its soul—a loyal wife and mother— You’ll work out pretty nearly to my mend, The plan that’s deen developed through the ages, And win the best that life can have in store, You’ll be my girl, a model for the sages— A woman whom the world will bow before.