New London High School - Whaler Yearbook (New London, CT)

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BULKELEY NEWS 15 thought you’d been married all those times.” Farmer Hayseed—‘‘What d’ye think? The bones of a prehistoric man have been found on Joe Miller’s farm.” Earmer Corntassel—‘‘Gosh ! I hope poor Joe will be able to clear hisself at the coroner’s inquest.” Mary—‘‘Do you like mustaches?” Elsie—‘‘Do I? Why, they just tickle me to death.” One Week. The year had gloomily begun For Willie Weeks, a poor man’s SUN. He was beset with bill and dun, And he had very little MON. “This cash,” said he, ‘‘won’t pay my dues, I’ve nothing here but ones and TUES. A bright thought struck him, and he said, “The rich Miss Goldrocks I will WED. But when he paid his court to her, She lisped, but firmly said, ‘‘No THUR.” “Alas !” said he, “then I must die !” His soul went where they say souls FRI. They found his gloves, and coat, and hat, The coroner upon them SAT. Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard For something to quench her thirst, When she got there The cupboard was bare, For her husband had got there first. Prof.—“Be careful, Harrington. You know that there is a cloud hanging over your head already.” Connors (from the rear of the room)— “Cheer up Bunk, there is a silver lining to every cloud.” Grace—“Can’t you see it, Harry?” Harry—“No, I’m seasick.” Toby— Hey Hank, did you see the race yesterday ?” Hank—“No. What race was that ?” Toby—“The Human Race. Ha, ha.” Hank—“Ah what are you laughing at ? You weren’t in it.” Little boy—“Gee ! I wish I was Tommy Jones.” Mother—“Why, how i9 that, my boy? You have more toys, a better home, more spending money, and you are stronger than he is, aren’t you?” Liitle boy—“I know, but Tommy can wiggle his ears.” Judge—“Why didn’t you interfere when the cook chased the waiter with a cleaver and the waitress yelled murder ?” F'armer (who was on his first visit to the city)—“Gosh, Jedg, I thought it was an ordinary cabaret feature.” Stubborn as a Muue. The jury had been out for two days, and still one stubborn fellow held out against the other eleven. “Well, gentlemen,” asked the court officer, looking in at the door, “shall I order twelve dinners?” “No,” replied the foreman, “make it eleven dinners and a bale of hay.”

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14 BULKELEY NEWS Indignant woman—“Sir, I want my husband arrested.” Police captain—“But what for, my dear madam ?” Indignant woman—“Because he tempted to strike me, and threatened me.” Police captain—“Allright madam, where shall my men find him ?” Indignant woman—“In the emergency hospital.” McBride—“Say, McGarry, do you ever expedl to hunt Lyons?” McGarry—“No, but some day I’ll fish for Connors.” Harry May not be able to Ty Cobb but Isadore Snitkin. McCaster to Lester—“Why is coal so high when we have a Miner with us?” Wadleigh, buying a new hat the other day, said that it did not fit him but it might Fitzgerald. Prof, (one dark gloomy morning)— “Oh! dear me, I wish we had some light in this room on these dark mornings.” Phillips (producing a hair)—“Here sir, here’s a hair. Probably this will be light enough.” A Surprise to Mary. The English matron had engaged a maid recently from the country and was now employed in showing her newly acquired treasure over the house and enlightening her in regard to her various duties, etc. At last they reached the best room. “These,” said the mistress of the house, pausing before an extensive row of masculine portraits, “are very valuable and you must be very careful when dusting. They are old masters.” Mary’s face dropped and a look of intense wonder overspread her face. “Lor’, mum’” she gasped, “who’d ’ave

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16 BULKELEV NEWS Customer (driving up to Schwaner’smarket in a team, and leaving his outfit to do some buying), said to one of the clerks— “Hey, young fellow, watch my horse, will you ?” Clerk, alias Shea —“Yes sir, I’ll watch her for you.” Customer in the store is interrupted in his purchasing by Shea’s voice in the doorway—“Better hurry up Mister, your horse is almost out of sight and I won’t be able to watch her much longer.” Donnelly—“Hey Tevy, did you know that Toby got pinched last Sunday for driving a Ford up State Street and he was only going ten miles an hour?” Tevy— How’s that ?” Donnelly—“For rushing the can on Sunday.” Kirschner—“Does ‘do’ mean any note on the piano?” Ockooneff, who does a lot of playing for charity, —“What’s that? Sure, I get ‘dough’ out of any and every note on the piano.” It behooves great men To adl like fools now and then. Phillips—“Ignorance is bliss.” Simenowitz—“Is that why you’re so happy?” Frau Moll—“Ship is feminine gender.” Connors—“Why is that ?” Jordan—“Because they are 90 hard to manage.” H20?” Bradshaw—“I think Mr. Lawrence keeps it locked up over there in the closet.” Professor—“Now, my boy, do you always stutter like that ?” Pupil—“N-n-no, o-o-o-only when I-I t-t-talk.” Dives of Freshmen all remind us, We can make our lives sublime. And by asking foolish questions. Take up all the teacher’s time. “Failed in Latin, flunked in Math,” They heard him softly hiss, “I’d like to meet the guy who said That ‘Ignorance is bliss.’ ” First Sophomore—“I smell cabbage burning.” Second Sophomore—“Oh, it is only a Freshman with his head on the radiator'” “All those who wish to go to heaven, please stand.” All got to their feet but one small boy. “Why, Johnny,” exclaimed the shocked teacher, “do you mean to say that you do not want to go to heaven?” “No ma’am,” replied Johnny promptly, not if that bunch is going.” It’s a cold-blooded teacher that gives us a mark below zero. Seniors Ark Good Chemists. Toby—“Has anybody here seen the