New London High School - Whaler Yearbook (New London, CT)

Page 16 text:

16 BULKELEY NEWS way: “Please do not let my son the German speak, For in English he can hardly squeak, His throat is very, very sore Which cannot be improved by German Lore.” Satan (receiving Xmas presents)— “Humph! Skates! Well, I suppose they’re quite as useful as the average Christmas present.” She—“The idea of that impudent Lewis! He said I was no chicken.” Donnelly—“Well—are you one?” ‘ ‘Ball gowns require a lot of arithmetic.” “How so?” “Well, you add to the trains, subtract from the neck, multiply the frills, divide the skirts, and it is all a matter of figures.” There was a man in our town, And he was wondrous wise; He swore (it was his policy) He would not advertise. But one day he did advertise, And thereby hangs a tale— The ad was set in quite small type, And headed “Sheriff’s Sale.” —New London Day. Rollo “I’d be willing to bet that you don’t take a girl to the show more than twice a year.” Meagher—1 ‘That’s a 1 r i g h t , but when I do I take her to the Lyceum, not up to the Public Librao'.” Donnelly had just been elected justice of the peace. “What are your duties?” someone asked the light-haired one. “Oh, I marry a widow with six children (under his breath)—to some other (?) man.” Heard in Chemistry. ‘ ‘What is the result of mixing H20 with 2 HO and boiling it?” “Oat-meal.” Mr. Bigelow—“Donnelly, have you a pencil to loan Meagher?” Donnelly—“Not him. He’s a crook. He swiped my girl.” At least, Dud, Meagher pays for his “News.” In the Chemistry Class. Gates—“An alkali is very salutable in water.” (It is such reasoning as this that made Gates’ scenic railway on Coney Island the second, such a profound success that it even attracted the hounds of news). Freshman Examination Answers. What was the chief event of Solomon’s reign? He died. What religion had the Britons ? A strange and terrible one called the religion of the Dudes.

Page 15 text:

BULKELEY NEWS 15 Satti—“What’s that I smell burning ?” Murray—“Harshowitz has a nickel in his pocket.” Jordan (in German)—“How do you say ‘doctor’ in German?” Frau Moll—“Herr Tockter.” Jordan—“I meant an M. D.; not a barber.” You can drive a mule to water, But you cannot make him drink. You can drive a fool to college, But you cannot make him think. Mr. Lawrence— “Take a dime, Moran, and make silver nitrate.” Moran—“I haven’t a dime. Will two nickels do?” Mr. Bigelow—“What one department is there that every city has that is absolutely free from graft?” McGarry—‘ ‘Police Department.’ ’ What we need this year is cheap ice,—we have plenty of cheap skates. (Ask the sales manager). Why did Feeley get up and leave McGarry after they had entered the Lyceum Theatre together? (Grape Nuts). An optimist is one who when swallowing a fish bone thanks his lucky stars that he is not an ostrich. Littlefield has entered the Y. M. C. A. pageant. Very happily he was assigned the part of a Mexican which gives him an excuse for his bullthrowing. My father sent this note one day, To my German teacher—it read this

Page 17 text:

BULKELEY NEWS •17 What caused the death of Cleopatra? She bit a wasp. What do you call the last teeth that come to man? False teeth. Of what is the surface of the earth composed ? Of dirt and people. Define flinch and use it in a sentence. Flinch, to shrink. Flannel flinches when it is washed. Name six animals of the Arctic Zone. Three polar bears and three seals. Define idolater. A very .idle person. Define interloper. One who runs away to get married. God made man, weak as a bubble, God made love and started trouble, God made woman, gentle and sweet, And God made Littlefield's-------big feet. —T. '17 School News Concluded, from Page 12. Reading—“What Have You Done Today”..................Raymond Sullivan Cornet Solo..........Spencer Moon Reading—“Old Christmastide”...... Louis Harshowitz Reading—“Something Wrong”........ Dwight Rose Selection..................School Orchestra The Footpath of Learning. (with apologies to Henry Van Dyke) 11 A0 climb, Indian file, the broad stairs and hasten (oh yes) to room —, to quietly stand up until we get ready to noisily sit down, to immediately get up and search for a book which has mysteriously disappeared (appropriated by a kind neighbor), to listen so carefully to the liquid words which fall from the lips of the instructor that not a word escapes your dis-memory, to produce your paper when the rest of the class gets through with it, to scribble a few most comprehensible sentences on the board, to duly correct the same with the aid of the entire class, to listen to the lesson for the next time with one ear and promptly let it march out of the other, to gleefully call “es klingelt” the instant the period is over; these make up functions of the intricate studies (some) of our high school life.