New London High School - Whaler Yearbook (New London, CT)

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bulkeley news 21 “Liljenstein, too, has reached the top of his profession. What great heights lias he attained, you ask? A-bout one thousand feet, I should say. Let me explain. When ambitious Liljenstein started working, he began as a common sweeper in the basement of a New York skyscraper. Step by step he was promoted so that today he is the chief window-washer on the seventy-third and topmost floor of the same building. What greater heights could he have reached, I beg of you? “When Bill Leary went to Bulkel-ey, he had two fads. One was being President; the other was 'Home Rule for Ireland.’ So much arguing over class pins, freshmen athletics, class pictures, etc. marked his administration at Bulkeleythat upon graduating no man was ever better qualified to enter politics than was Leary. But he didn’t confine his efforts to this hemisphere. He crossed the ocean and entered the struggle then going on to give Ireland more than home rule—to place her among the nations of the earth. Bill’s presence won the struggle for old Erin. His wonderful powers of oratory made possible the writing of Robert Emmet’s epitaph. And after the victory was won, the hero fain would retire and ' bask in his glory (just like that!) but the Irish people would hear of nothing like that. Leary was the unanimous choice for president of the Republic of Ireland. Since then an era of happiness and prosperity has marked Ireland’s history, due to President Leary’s wise policies. I forgot to say that when Leary entered the political ring, he saw how hopeless were his chances if he was to become separated from his chief advisor, Corcoran. Accordingly, he persuaded Corcoran to act as private secretary. Corcoran accompanied Leary to the ‘Old Sod’ and entered the struggle with vim. Although not generally known as such, many of President Leary’s wisest acts are due to Secretary Corcoran’s brainy bits of advice. “When Mulcahey heard of the success of Leary and Corcoran in Ireland, his patriotic spirit urged him to follow his old mates across the ocean. He, too, has done great things for the land of his fathers. He did not enter politics. He had nothing to do with Ireland’s era of prosperity. Yet many people look upon him as a greater benefactor than the beloved Leary. Through Mulcahey’s efforts baseball was introduced into the green little isle. Little wonder that he should be regarded as a hero! “A few years ago Webster’s Dictionary was found to be distinctly out of date, resulting in more or less confusion to all Americans. Not long since, Schwartz placed upon the market ‘Schwartz’s Revised Dictionary,’ which is now recognized throughout the world as the standard dictionary of the English language. Information such as population, results of past elections, statistical figures, etc. which pervaded the old-fashioned dictionary are omitted in Schwartz’s publication, and in their places we find interesting and useful information such as big league schedules and statistics, the popular plays, as well as a few original poems. The huge success of Schwartz’s Revised Dictionary may be attributed to these attachments. “Sometime ago I was informed

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20 BIJLKELEY NEWS to suffer from the heat of summer and the dog instinct in it would cause it to gasp. In my opinion, when St. Germain brings forth the coat and the pants, he ought to feel well suited. “You might suppose that St. Germain has a wonderful gift of creation but the real inventive genius of the age is none other than Copeland. His latest patented idea is a soup-spoon with a Maxim silencing attachment. Wishing to carry out his idea to its fullest extent he appealed to Bill Belcher for financial support. Belcher accepted the offer and the firm became known as Copeland 6fc Belcher. Copeland was to supply the brains and Belcher was to furnish the cash; but I’ve heard that when both brains and •money were put together the firm couldn’t supply an eyewash for a needle. ‘ ‘The next one is a sad case. One of our number has won world-wide fame; and yet he is hated for it. He has become a national necessity; but every day he drives the country to the verge of civil war. Without him the nation would decline to a low-state; with him the people are continually longing for his blood. He is a hero of the deepest dye; yet even a deacon would take joy in lynching him. Who is this person, and what is his occupation, you ask? The foolhardy man is Keating. He is a baseball umpire. “Now7 w-hile the subject of baseball is fresh on my mind, I may as w7ell tell you about Delnner. As you probably know, Delnner alw-ays wanted to be a w7riter. He soon found out, however, that in order to be a writer of American subjects, one must be able to speak the English language as she should be spoke. In the course of time Delnner became sporting editor of the ‘War Cry.’ Of course, a sporting editor doesn’t necessarily have to speak English just as long as he knows all the modern slang expressions. As a slanguist, Deh-mer is writing his way to fame and fortune. “A life on the ocean wave appealed to Barrett so much that he joined the Navy in 1917. He saw active service in Mexico, but, sad to relate, his heroic efforts were halted when he was wounded by the explosion of a piece of chili con carne loaded with mustard. He is still to be found in the Old Soldiers’ Home, whence he was retired, and no doubt, he can give a more accurate account of his evperiences than I can. “When Gaffney was a schoolboy he showed marked ability as an author. His ability in writing stories clung to him in his later days with increasing skill. By writing for well-known magazines he first appeared before the gaze of the public. His masterpiece, however, is a one act play entitled The Stewed Clam.’ The scene portrayed in this drama is a church-picnic. In the clam-stew soon to be served lies a solitary clam which piteously tells its history and begs to be restored to its family. In order to cut down the expenses of production, Gaffney, the author, took the leading part—that of the stewed clam. In his fifteen years of acting—not including his four years at Bulkeley—Gaffney has never been given the hook. This is probably due to the fact that a clam cannot be caught with a hook.

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22 BULKELEY NEWS that Stewart was teller in the ’Steer.th National Bank. Upon hearing this, I hastened thence to congratulate him on his success, hearing in my mind a glorified version of that wise old adage. ‘ ‘Tis the little things that count As I passed through the doors of the handsome marble structure, an immovable guard blocked my way. His gaudy garments and alabaster top first made me think he was an adornment. Imagine my surprise, therefore, in recognizing the wearer of the sunset clothes as Stewart. His business is to stand at the door, tell the clerks of the bulletins as they appear down the street, and to tell people which way to go. “Due chiefly to the wonderful skill of the brain of Perkins, a revival of the ragtime rage, seriously rivaling that of thirty years ago, has been thrown upon the helpless American nation. By musical critics Perkins has been described as the greatest ragtime writer since the days of Irving Berlin and George NI. Cohan. The greatest song that he is guilty of perpetrating is known as “The Socks That Dave Mulcaliey Used to Wear.’ As the title might lead you to suspect, this masterpiece is a rag—such as used to hang on the Old Fall River Line. “Were I to take time to relate an account of Weske’s career since his schooldays, I must needs describe the seventy-six periods of his later life in which he engaged in exactly seventy-six forms of labor. When last I heard of him, he was about to start a career as a cartoonist, basing his belief of success in this line of work on the the skill with which he always drew conclusions and attention. As to his fortunes as a cartoonist I know nothing, but if he is able to draw his salary, he should consider himself a lucky artist, indeed. “Traveling about the world with Barney and Berry’s circus are our two old friends Harshowitz and Bar-atz. Professionally, they are known as the Confetti Brothers. They perform daring feats of bareback riding on the elephants who jump through hoops, play leap-frog, and do other stunts requiring the most skillful a-bilitv. On the road our two friends take care of the horses and ponies, an occupation they learned at Bulkeley. “The reckless ease with which Baxter used to take prizes in 'athletic e-vents made him feel certain that he could take pictures just as easily. So certain was he of success as a photographer, that I was inclined to be skeptical, for I never could see how a man so positive could make a good negative. But Ned carefully kept behind the camera and thus forced success upon him. “Only one more person is doomed to enter my story. That person is Bronstein. Long before he graduated his future vocation was plainly evident to all his friends. From his habitual practice of being at the foot we all knew that some day would see Bronstein carefully cutting his career as a cheropidist. “Now you have heard of all the fellows. Many of them have risen to the high esteem of the rest of the world. But one and all look back with unbounded joy to the happiest, the most delightful, the most useful period of our lives—our four veers at old Bulkeley.”