Mechanic Arts High School - M Yearbook (St Paul, MN)

Page 22 text:

FI:-'FEiM.A.H.S.--:-FI:'Fl1' Horatio-There were no hitches were there? Hamlet--No, but Laertes put up a h-1 of a fightg he looked all over for the new sword that was given to him for Christmas, but I was too fast. I socked him over his bean with my sap and right then and there Laertes was no more. How did you manage yours? Horatio-Very simple, my boy, I tore Polonius limb from limb and brought the remnants to the queen. And would you believe it Gertie died from fright. So that's that. Then And Now By Time-Then. Place--Eden. Adam: Well, rib of mine, have you prepared the venison? Eve: Just a moment, my lord. Adam: Hurry about it. Don't you know you still have the south garden to weed? Eve: Your will is mine, most glori- ous master, and I, your humble servant, do beg your deepest pardon. Adam: And this is my helpmate, the companion sent to me! Such sloth! If only I could spare another rib! Act II, Scene I. Time-Now. Place-Anywhere. Eve: Hello, Adam, I hope you have reserved the table for dinner tonight, Hamlet-Good work, Horsie. Horatio-How now, Hamy, in what manner did you dispose of dear Claud- ius? Hamlet-Oh, dear Claudius? I tickled him to death. Horatio-Now that all your shirt-tail relation are gone, what say we go down and shoot a game of pool? Hamlet-O. K. with me, Horsie. It's a great life if you don't weaken. Exit both. C Curtain. Q Dorothy Turner and don't forget the tickets for the theater, and hurry right home from the office. Adam: Yes, dear. Anything else? Eve: Oh, I suppose you might get me a few orchids, and, oh, yes, please stop at Madam Marie's and buy me two or three pairs of gloves. Adam: All right, dear. Scene II. Time-That Evening. Place-The Apartment. Eve: Well, hand over the goods. Adam: Here they are, Eveg I had to get roses-the orchids were all gone. Eve: O, gee, Adam, you're beautiful -but so dumb. Whatever made me tie up with you! CCurtainj All Over An Apple By Billy Thvmas Act I Scene laid in the garden of Eden. Adam and Eve resting beneath an apple tree. Adam-Well, Eva, looks like every- thing is going to be rosy from now on. Eve-Yes, Addie, I'm afraid every- thing is going to be all right. Say, Adam, why do you suppose we are for- bidden to eat the apples hanging on that tree over there? My, but they look good. Adam-You women are never satis- tied. With all the other apples in this world of ours. you pick on the one you can't have. Oh, well, it's just like a woman anyhow. Eve-Why, Adam. I think you're just horrid. The idea of talking that way to me. Adam-G'wan! that's no argument. Eve-just wait, you'll be sorry. Adam-Yes, I suppose I will. Act II Scene same as Act I. Eve sitting alone under forbidden tree sewing a new fig leaf dress. Page Eighteen Eve Cto herself!-Now I wonder how this will look on me? No, I think they are not going to wear quite as many leaves this season, so I guess I'll discard these. Well, well, well, if here isn't the cutest little snake! My, but I love them! Snake-Hello there, Queen of the May! How's things today? Eve-Oh! not so hot, Snakieg Adam and me have been been quarreling again. Snake-What! has that big bozo been picking on you again? Eve-Well, you see, it's like this- Snake-Never mind. I can see through him. He just doesn't understand you, does he? What you need is a good, kind, sympathetic little friend to help voug and listen, sister, that little friend is going to be nobody else but me. Be- lieve me, he'll not neglect you again. Eve-Thanks heaps, old thing, I sure appreciate them kind words. Snake-Now, all you have to do is take one bite of this apple, and you can twist him around your little Finger.

Page 21 text:

P,gFlgiM.A.H.S.-THQFE A GROUP OF PARODIES Hamlet In Modern Dress By Billy Thomas Act I In courtyard. Enter Hamlet and Ophelia. Hamlet-So, they've went and killed the old man, huh? Well, just watch me pull a Scotland Yard and track down the baby who did it. Believe me I'll find out if I have to go nuts to do it. Ophelia-Listen, Boy-friend, I think you're all wet. But I still love you. Hamlet-Never mind, sweet one, that father of yours is out for no good. He and my stepfather are too thick. I says look out. Enter Horatio. Hamlet-Well, well, my old pal, Horsie. Say, old kid, I need assistance and how. Can I depend on you? Horatio-You know me Hamy, old thing, I never fail. CExit all three.J Act II Claudius and Gertrude at luncheon. Claudius-Gertie dear, I see by the Denmark Gossiper' that Hamlet is out scouting for his father's assassin. Gertrude-Well, the boy has finally found something to occupy his spare moments. He's been walking around like a crepe hanger lately. Of course, e's T CEnter Poloniusj Polonius-Ah, dear king and queen how are ya been? I myself feel like a severe case of halitosis this morning. Too much party last night. Say, King, what do you think about Hamlet and Ophie? It looks pretty serious to me. It appears that a little spying might add light to the matter. Gertrude-You don't think they're in love do you? Polonius-If they're not I'll eat my gaiters. King Claudius-Oh, Well, youth will have its fling. CEnter Hamletj Hamlet-Ha! So this is Paris? You know, folks, I've been waiting for just such a chance as this. I wish to make it known that Ophie and I are about to be hitched, just as soon as I locate the hand that killed father, of course. Claudius-You'll have a long search, my lad. Ahem! Hamlet Casidej-CAh something seems to be mildew'd in my native land.J fAloudD-Oh well, I need practice as a sleuth. Gertrude-Now, Hamlet, I do wish you'd think a bit before marrying. Hamlet-You'd better not talk, ma: poor pa wasn't under the sod two hours before you hooked up with Claudius. Claudius-That'll do! Hamlet-Stall right, governor, no of- fense. CAsideJ-COh how I'd like to put arsenic in his javalj Well olive oil people, see you soon. Skip the gutter, Polonius. You'll make a great father- in-law. Act III Two weeks later. Scene is in the Courtyard. Hamlet, Ophelia, Horatio. Hamlet-Is it or isn't it? 1 Ophelia-What are you saying, Ham- Ct. Hamlet-Don't bother me, I'm goofy. Ophelia-I guess you are, and I don't mean if . Horatio-Ophelia, I'd like to shove the fat with Hamy for a while. Would you mind telling your good-looking brother Laertes I would like a word with him? CExit Ophelia.J Horatio-Say Pal, this jane of yours is carrying all our plans to her old man. I got this from reliable authority. Hamlet-I don't believe you. Horatio-What! you believe a skirt in preference to me? Consider our friendship at an end. Hamlet-Sorry old man, go ahead with the story. Horatio-I heard that the king is hep to the big deal tonight so how've ya been? Hamlet-I've been acting like a bug- house inmate so they all think I've for- gotten my little detective game. I know Claudius thinks Iim harmless but -- CEnter a servant.J Servant-Oh, Hamlet! come quick: Ophelia has fallen into the lily pond and drowned. Hamlet-Well, that's just too bad! I-Ioratio-Now you're talking sense, pa . Hamlet-Never liked her anyway. Horatio-Everything all set. Tonight we do it regardless of anything. Hamlet-Thou has said it, dear one. Act IV Midnight in Castle. Enter Hamlet and Horatio from bed- rooms. Hamlet-Well, that's olf my mind now. Page Seventeen

Page 23 text:

FI:-'PdiM.A.H.S.lFl3-'FI-L' Eve-Oh, really? I'm just thrilled to pieces. I'll show him who'll be the boss in this family. CTakes a bite of the apple and immediately realizes she has done wrong.J Oh, what will Adam say? I'm so afraid. Snake-Well, I always thought you women were fools, now I know it. Toodle-oo. Eve Ccrying, looks for Adam, finds him playing hide and seek with an ele- phant.D-Oh Adam, we're in an awful pickle and it's all my fault. Boo-hoo! Adam-Never mind, sweetnessg tell Addie all about it. Act III Scene outside gates of Paradise. Adam and Eve taking one last good look as they are thrown out of Eden. Adam--Well, Eve, I sure hope you're satisfied now. Eve-Go ahead, you bruteg rub it in. You men are all alike. Us poor, weak, defenseless women have to put up with so-oh-oh-much. Adam-Oh shut up! Who's kicking? And to think someone has had the nerve to say, The Woman pays! Well, all I've got to say is that it's a great life. Eve--Oh, Adam, I'm so sorry I did it, and I can promise you it will never happen again. Adam-Of course, I forgive you, dear. But-this much, I know-I certainly wish I had my rib back again. CCurtain.j CLASS WILL We, the class of 1928, in the County of Ignorance, and the State of Bliss, do publish and declare this to be our Last Will and' Testament and revoke all prior wills made by former senior classes. First, we will and direct that our Executors, hereinafter named, do first pay all our just debts and graduation expenses as soon after our departure as conveniently may be done. Second, we give, devise, and bequeath, Art. I. To Mr. Lange: 1. The satisfaction of having turned out such a brilliant class. 2. Our profoundest sympathy as re- gards the problem which will confront him after our departure because of the absence of our sagacious selves. Art. II. To Miss Johnson: The proud distinction of having been the adviser of the most loyal and bril- liant class that ever left the portals of Mechanics. Art. III. To our other teachers: The valuable experience they have received in teaching our distinguished selvesg also, any valuable information we have given out in our brilliant recita- tions. Art. IV. To the incoming seniors: 1. The distinction of occupying our high and mighty place. 2. The privilege of arguing with the faculty. 3. The delights furnished by Bacon, Milton, and the other historic literary bores. Art. V. To the juniors: 1. The privilege of giving informals and the J. S. 2. The delight of writing a Junior Essay. 3. The pleasures encountered with the office force during advisory period. Art. VI. To the sophomores: 1. The feeling of dignity that en- compasses one after having graduated from the ranks of the commoners. 2. The ability to forget one's studies and spend the time conversing with the young and fair maidens who roam the halls. Art. VII. To the freshmen: 1. The privilege of staying eight periods a day. 2. The thrill that comes only when one is about to begin four years of something or other. 3. A whole host of original excuses which we have through supreme mental effort inaugurated into the ranks of the old standbys. Note: Said excuses are to be found in the office files and may or may not be secured on application. We assume no responsibility concerning this legacy. Lastly, we nominate and appoint The Trust Company, Final and Finish, to be Executors of this our Last Will and Testament. IN TESTIMONY WHEREOF, We have hereunto subscribed our name and affixed our seal, the 14th day of June in the year of our Lord one thousand nine hundred and twenty-eight. Page Nineteen l ..l