McKean (DD 784) - Naval Cruise Book

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Mc KEAN ENTERS REALM or NEPTUNUS Rex wx HIS MAlESTY'S EN FORCERS X , N i I Q if Q , A .

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'1 , g. i . I 2 I , i , , T AN OLD NAVAL TRADITION CONTINUED AS On the night of 28 April I967, as the ship approached the Equator, Davy Jones boarded the ship through the hawse-pipe, climbed to the bridge, and read to the Captain and crew over the public address system that on the morrow King Neptunus Rex, with his full retinue of courtiers, would board the ship as it crossed the Line and initiate all the lowly, crummy, ignorant polywogs into his watery domain. His dire predictions as to what would happen to the polywogs on the following day inspired such terror that some of them actually went into hiding. However, the braver among them, learning that they were entitled to harass the shell- backs on the day prior to the crossing, or- ganized an attack. One by one the shell- backs, who were outnumbered twenty-five to one, were ferreted out of their holes, bound, gagged, and dragged down to the mess decks. There they were subjected to such grevious indignities as having their heads smeared with grease and then doused with ice water. But the old salts, knowing that their day was coming, bore up well underthis sadistic torture, and the following morning the shoe was on the other foot. Bright and early the shellbacks held reveille on the polywogs., They were herded down to the mess hall where a :'dellcious breakfast of biscuits doused with red pepper, sauerkraut and sardune salad. Next they were herded up to the forcastle to see King Neptune boo,-Cl The ship as it crossed the Equator.Anyone5lOW getting up on deck was speeded along by vigorous whacks of clubs held by the Shell- backs. The Royal Court, headed by King Neptune, boarded the ship, and after visiting the Captain on the bridge, proceeded to the fantail to await the arrival there of the crummy polywogs who were made to crawl from bow to stern on their bellies, all the while being urged along by whacks onthe backside from King Neptune's loyal sup- porters. Upon arriving at court on the fan- tail, each ploywog was told of the charges against him, and he was awarded his due punishment. He was then made to kiss the feet of Neptune, the hand of Davy Jones, and the well greased, fat belly of the Royal Baby. They then met the Royal Barber who trimmed their hair with a dull, rusty pair of scissors, and the Royal Doctor who squirted some vile fluid down theirthroats. Then they were thrown into the Royal Swimming Pool to try to clean themselves. This was too little avail, for the swimming pool was also filled with a vile liquid. This frustration was followed by a crawlthrough a chute filled with the Royal Court's garbage, and then, finally, a dunk in the cleansing waters of King Neptune. If the candidate reached this point successfully he was duly initiated as a Trusted Shellback. BUT if the Royal Court did not think him yef worthy, the tired polywog had to begin again in an attempt to become worthy ofthe honor. The ceremony lasted the whole morning, and so many were the polywogs that Kin9 Neptune's trusty shellbacks, who were whacking away mightily throughout thelefl' tire ceremony, were onlytoogladtocalllit a day by the time the last polywog lost l1IS virginity and became a shellback. All inclll, it was a colorful, lusty ceremony, carried out in every sense as tradition dictated,lI'l cluding the Royal Feast that afternOON-

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K , Y 1 u ' x N One handed push-ups? Anyone for leap-frog? ,X ee e ' 1 ,ffe , n J - WM fr' , X XX Traffic iam! Arm getting fired? I rn cn dirty polywogl Soy cheese. . . -. I 'fl