Marquette University - Hilltop Yearbook (Milwaukee, WI)

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Dear Editor: I am in love with a very plain girl, 'while a very pretty girl with 'lots of money wants me to marry her. What shall I do? Answer: Marry the one you love by all means, and send me the name and address of the other. . You can always te'11 a barber By the way he parts his hairg You can always tell a dentist When you're in the dentist's chair, And even a musician- You can tell him by his touehg You can always tell a printer, But you cannot tell him much. gi EVERY TOWN HA'S- A. liar. A sponger. A smart Alec. A fblatherskite. Its richest man. Some pretty girls. A girl that gig-gles. A weather provphet. A neighborhood feud. A w.oman that tattles. A justice of the peace. A man who knows it all. One Jacksonian Democrat. More loafers than it needs. Men who see every dog fight. A fboy that cuts up in church. A few meddlesome old women. A stock law that is not enforced. A preacher who thinks he ought to run the town. A few that know how to run the affairs of the country. A grown young man who laughs I -every time he says anything. A girl that goes to the postoffice 'every time the mail comes in. A legion of. smart Alecs who can tel-l the editor how to run his - paper. Scores of men with the caboose of their trousers worn smooth as glass. . Here's an advertisement inserted In a Beaver Dam fWisconsinJ news- paper: .UFOR SAILE: A cow that gives five quarts of milk a day, a set of golf sticks, a set of law books, and a very fine overcoat. PASTORINO AND SCHIAPPACASSE CO. The House of Quality Dealers in FRUITS AND VEGETABLES 309 Broadway Milwaukee, Wis. CLARK 8: HOST CO. Importers and Jobbers I-lIGll GRADE COFFEES, TEAS, SPICES MILWAUKEE, WIS. THE FRED C.GROSS 81 BROS. COMPANY BEEF AND PORK PACKERS HIGH GRADE SAUSAGES COR. MUSKEGO AVE. 8: CANAL ST. Hanover 2055 - - Milwaukee, Wls. Established 1845 THE LAYTON COMPANY PORK PACKERS Curers of Layton's Sugar Cured Hams and Breakfast Bacon. MILWAUKEE, WIS. THE ORTHOPEDIC APPLIANCE CO. Manufacturing Specialists ln Braces for Deformltles, Artificial Limbs, Elastic Stockings, Abdominal Supporters, Trusses. 118 East Water St. Milwaukee, Wis. IDEAL LAUNDRY CO. 1520 Wells Street Milwaukee CHAS. HESS Sausage and Provisions Sausage Factory and Retail Market at 802 Third St. BRANCH MARKET: 1384 Green Bay Ave. 725 Third St. 975 Third St. 461 E. Water St. J. J. KRIEGER MANUFACTURING .IEWELER Class, Fraternity, Club Pins and Fancy Rings 14 GRAND AVE., MILWAUKEE Third Floor Empire Bldg.

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Remodeling and Repair Work Given Special Attention PATRICK CURLEY PLUMBING AND GAS FITTING 197 Eleventh Street Telephone Grand 4430 Milwaukee, Wis. S. F. Peacock 8: Son FUNERAL DIRECTORS 450 Broadway Telephone Broadway 348 All Kinds of Jobblng Promptly Attended to JOS. M. HOLLITZ HEATING AND VENTILATING Tin, Galvanized Iron and Furnace Work. 445 Jefferson St. Milwaukee, Wls. ALL OVER THE U. S. A. You will find most of the Truck Dumping Equip- ment, Power Hoists and Compartment. Truck Tanks. Made by Milwaukee, Wisconsin WOODS LAUNDRY, Inc. 3100-3102 North Avenue Branch: 730 Grand Avenue Cornices and Skylights Metal, Tile and Slate Roofing LOUIS HOFFMAN 8: CO. SHEET METAL WORK Approved Fireproof Windows and Doors. Heating, Ventilating, Collection Systems. PHONE HANOVER 345 279-28l LAKE ST. MILWAUKEE, WIS. BIG 4 SIGN CO. 518 Edison Street Milwaukee NUZUM ELECTROTYPE CO. 344-46 JEFFERSON STREET Milwaukee Now, ' said the teacher, if I stand o nmy 'head the blood all rushes to my head, doesn't it? Yes, sir, replied the class. Well, asked the teacher, when I stand on my feet, why doesn't the blood al'l rush to my feet? 'Because your feet are not empty, replied the class. Pa: How many letters in the al- phabet? Son: I don't know. Pa: Shame on you! 'Sonz How many letters in the post office? Father: So you have to take an- other examination! Didn't you pass? Son: Say, I passed so well I was encored, and now I have to do it all over again. -Ohio Sun-Dial. Did you ever study botany? questioned Constance. No: I've never met her. It's n.ot a woman: it's a study. 'Same thing, woman is the great- est study I ever heard of. Yes, I have a 'steady' myself. H Teacher: Johnny, tell me who Patrick Henry was and what did he do ? Johnny: Patrick Henry was a young man, and he lived in Virginia. He had blue eyes and light hair. He was married, and he said: Give me liberty or give me death. Just why did you leave college? ll 7 The dean didnt go into details. Percy: My father occupied the chai-r of applied 'physics at Cam- bridge. Chimmy: Dat's nuttin'g mine oc- cupied the chair of applied electric- ity at Sing Sing. Every man may have his price, but how many are worth it? Papa, where do jailebirds come from ? They are .raised by larks, bats, and swallows, my son. --The Living Church.

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SULLIVAN'S DELIVERY CARTAGE-STORAGE 116-118-120 FOWLER STREET Phone Grand 7060 MILWAUKEE Everything in Automobile Repairing Rebuilding, Trimming and Painting CHAS. ABRESCH CO. 397 Fourth Street Oxygen and Hydrogen Gases Welding and Cutting Apparatus and Supplies Universal Oxygen Co. 814 Winnebago St., Milwaukee, Wls. Cor. 14th St 8: Illinois Ave., Sheboygan, Wls. The Badger Raincoat Co. Manufacturers of Men's, Ladies' and Children's Rainproof Clothing Port Washington Wisconsin MERRILL WOODENWARE CO. Merrill, Wis. EWING-EVEREST PULP COMPANY Merrill, Wisconsin KAUKAUNA PAPER CO. Kaukauna, Wis. E. C. Manger 8: Son Co. Manufacturers HIGH GRADE CASKETS GREEN BAY, Wls. Mike at phone ftrying at take a messagel. Other End: Are you losing your hearing? Mike: I can hear ye all right until you 'begin to talk, and then I can't tell a word yez say. Do you know the population of Cincinnati ? No, n.ot allg I have only lived there two years. Professor: If Shakespeare 'were alive today wouldn 't he 'be 'looked upon as a remarkable man? Frosh: He sure would. He'd be three hundred years old. T4 . Quite matchless are her dark 'brown 1 1 1 1 'She talks ,with perfect e e e e, And when I tell her she is y y y y, 'She says I am a t t t t. Carlisle fraternities-Indian clubs. No, Oscar, P-:?1i'Twasn't the fel- low who thought Rex Beach was a bathing resort. 'Golf-Hoof and mouth disease: Hoof it all day, talk it all night. Traveler: How much is my bill? Clerk: What room? Traveler: I slept on the billiard table. Clerk: Fifty cents an hour. My wiife explored my pockets again 'last night. How did she come out? As an explorer should. She ac- quired enough material for a lec- ture. A niggeh trooper once said: The enemy might come where I was, but he ll never get where I is. He: I'll bet you don't know what a needle is for. She: Yes, I do. It's for the vic- trola. Some very old colleges still re- tain their faculties.