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Page 181 text:
There was a young lady named Lou,
Whose suitors were more than a few,
One specially simtten
Once gave her a kitten,
Said he, "I've a feline for you."-Ex.
If Smead is worth 18 points, how much is Teits CtightsJ
Student fentering M. A. weekly ofiiceb : "I want your
paper for a week back."
Busy Editor: "You had better try a porous plaster."
Visiting Philanthropist: "Good morning, madam. I
am collecting for the Drunkard's Home."
Mrs. McGuire: "Sure, I'm glad of it-if yez call
around to-night, yez can take my husband."--Ex.
Mildred Kennedy: "Is my hat on straight?"
Louise Phelan: "No, one eye still shows."
She: "You ought to see my new hat. It's a perfect
He: "Yes, a poem entitled, 'Owed to the Millinerf "-
THE BASEBALL GAME-LATEST REPORT.
The game was called with Molasses at the stick. Small-
pox was catching. Coal was in the box and had lots of
steam. Horn was playing first base, and Fiddle, second
base. Corn was in the field and Apple was umpire. When
Ax came to bat, he choppedg and Coal let Brick, Rock and
Saw dust fill the bases. Song made a hit and Twenty made
a score. Foot kicked and said that Apple was rotten. Bal-
loon started to pitch, but went up in the air.
When Spider caught a fly, the crowd cheered. Ice kept
cooling the game until Coal burnt him with a pitched ball.
You should have heard Ice-cream. Cabbage had a good
head, and kept quiet, but Organ refused to play, and Bread
In the fifth inning Wind began to blow about what he
could do, and Hammer began to knockg then the trees began
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Page 180 text:
Leland Sharp: "I love you, Cali, Calilu
Calla Mathewson: "Really, Leland, I hardly know what
Leland Sharp Clooking surprised, but continuing his
songl : "I love you, California."
His football he knows through and through
His other subjects, skims.
He neglects the higher branches
To improve the lower limbs.
HE SUSPECTS HIS LITTLE PUPILS.
Wheeler Chase: "They get these diamonds in a volcano
or some place where it's hot."
Mr. Fonda: "Do you think that some of us have pretty
good prospects for diamonds then."
SCRUBS MUST BE So TREATED.
Mr. Chase fstopping two boys in the halllz "Were
you boys talking."
Boys: "No, sir."
Mr. Chase: "Well, you go to the office and tell them
that Mr. Chase says you were talking."
IN ART HISTORY.
Mr. Wagner fpointing to a picture of Venusj : "She is
two thousand years old."
John Whitelaw: "Well, she doesn't look over twenty."
JUST LIKE HIM.
Mr. Fenwick: "The reason that man is the more gen-
eral term is because man embraces woman."
Boy fsotto vocej : "Gee! he's got the right idea."
THE BASEBALL SEASON Is ON.
Miss Grant: "What can you say of the Medes and
Pupil: "I never keep track of those minor league
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Page 182 text:
to leave. Knife was put out for cutting first base. There
was lots of betting on the game and Egg went broke, but
Soap cleaned them all up.
They all kicked, when in the heat of the game, Coal
was put out, and his future temporarily cooked, but not
before he roasted Pork good for his pig-headedness.
The score was 1 to 0. Oats was shocked, not having
a grain of sense. Trombone tried to slide, but was put out.
When the game was over the score was 2 to 1. Door said
that if he pitched he would have shut them out.
They had never met B-4,
But what had she 2 care,
She loved him 10-derly,
For he was a 1,000,000 aire.-Ex.
A newly captured horsethief
Dangled from a tree,
In a whisper hoarse he muttered
"This suspense is killing me."-Ex.
Boy: "Say, sir, What's the best Way to teach a girl how
to swim ?"
Instructor: "First you put your left arm under her
waist, and then you gently take her left hand-"
Boy: "Aw, come off! She's my sister."
Instructor: "Push her off the dock."
LOUD AND DEEP!
"I failed in Latin,
Flunked in Chem,"
The boy said with a hiss,
"And I want to find
The guy who said
That ignorance is bliss."
OF COURSE NOT.
Girl fattempting to live up to advanced ideasl : "The
men of this age are certainly terrible! To-day a young chap
kept watching me. Of course, I didn't take the slightest
notice of him. He was a tall man, and looked like an Eng-
lishman, with great blue, sentimental eyes."
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