Loyola University - Wolf Yearbook (New Orleans, LA)

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Mfc«4 imr H 1 - IL tFFS feK STfOs«-n She: How ' d you get that smudge on your face? He: Well, honey, the car broke down and I had to fix it. She: Since when do you use red grease on your car? i i i What awful language you are using. Why, Ma, Shakespeare uses it. Well, don ' t play with him any more. i i i A young Boston negro pugilist who had gained local recognition visited a nearby town to engage in a combat with an Irish- man, who likewise had gained local fame. During the early rounds the negro had much the better of the Irishman and in- flicted considerable punishment. In the sixth round he floored the Irishman with a punch that apparently had enough power in it to keep him on the floor for the fatal ten seconds. The referee (who also hap- pened to be an Irishman) counted over him thusly: 1 — (Mike, for God ' s sake get up!) 2 — (Mike, are you hurt?) 3 — (If you have any regard for your family, get up!) 4 — (Don ' t you see the nigger laughing at you?) 5 — (Mike, do you hear me?) 6 — (For the love of the old country, get up!) 7 — (If you have any red blood in you, get up) 8 — (That ' s the boy, Mike, get up now and kill the nigger! ) Mike finally staggered to his feet at the count of eight which had really been four- teen seconds and made a terrific lunge at his opponent, hitting him with sufficient force to knock him down, and the referee counted over him: 1-2-3-4-5- and 5 is ten. You ' re out, you nigger! i i i I ' m on the track, said the detective as he watched the train approach. i i i What do you think of prohibition? It takes my breath away. V 9 ' t Af O HOW is YOUfl sov QoiN T CoLLiToHy OLE? ' ' Vir A VO VM IS SHOR VRouO, HiR KHy THE OfllW WROTE N J3 SAlO HE v 1S De Ll HQuEl IN ALL His CL t SSF S . A ' Vr HE SMART?

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ft ± IIJ rrff 1.AFFS It was visiting day and the uplifter was on deck. My good man, said one kindly lady, I hope that since you have come here you have had time for m editation and have decided to correct your fault. I have that, mum, replied the prisoner in heartfelt tones. Believe me, the next job I pull this baby wears gloves. i i i Lecturer: Suppose I placed a pail of water and a pail of beer on this platform and brought on a healthy, normal donkey, which of the two would he take? He ' d take the water, came a voice from the gallery. And why would he take the water? the lecturer asked. Because he ' s an ass, was the reply. 1 i 1 Jeremiah always did possess a soft heart. He wrote: Dear Mrs. Clark: Your hus- band cannot come home today because his bathing suit was washed away. — Jeremiah Finnegan. P. S.: Your husband was in the bath- ing suit. A golfer at the Park Links had played a wretched game up to the ninth green. At the tenth tee, however, he drove a beau- tiful distance. Exultantly he turned toward the caddie and remarked: Well, how do you like my game? To which inquiry the caddie demurely replied: I don ' t know what you call it, sir, but I think I prefer golf. i i i Jones was quite an absent-minded per- son. Leaving his office to catch a train the thought struck him on the street that he must have left his watch behind. So he pulled out the timepiece to see if he had time enough to go back for it. Upon another occasion he reached his office and reading the sign which he had put up stating that he would be back in fifteen minutes sat down to wait. The a.i se it handed VroieSior G-oes to School

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±b Em o l f ILawifs An Irishman anxious to get on the police force hounded the politicians until they decided to give him a letter to the com- missioner, but the signature carried with it that popular little curve which meant to sidetrack Pat in the usual diplomatic man- ner. The commissioner, af:er reading the let- ter, told Pat that if he could answer the three following questions he would appoint him: First, how many stars are there in the heavens? Second, how many hairs are there on my head? Third, what am I thinking? Pat could not give an answer to any of them and was turned down. After wan- dering about town for some time an idea struck him. He would represent himself as his brother, and try again. The ques- tions were propounded again: How many stars are there in the heavens? 661,468,342, answered Pat. How do you know? I counted them, and if you don ' t be- lieve me count ' em yourself. How many hairs are there on my head? Pat walked up, and pulling one hair from the commissioner ' s head, answered: One less than there was a minute ago. What am I thinking about? You think you are talking to my brother, but I ' m the same man back again. He was appointed. Billy Sunday tells of a woman who was so fat that on falling down she rocked her- self to sleep trying to get up. w Hold, ct just Johnnie, said his mother, I must in- sist that you stop shooting craps — those poor little thinges have as much right to live as you have. i i i James: There goes the old rascal who swindled me out of $10,000. Robert: How did he do that? James: He wouldn ' t let me marry his daughter. i i i A young man came into a store and asked for a belt. . What size did you want? asked the girl in attendance. The young man hesitated; then: Er-it ' s just about the length of my arm.