Loyola University - Wolf Yearbook (New Orleans, LA)

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en 1 I I n wwtA ILawifs HL Mark Twain listened to a speech made in the Senate by a distinguished statesman. The humorist met the politician later in the lobby and thought he would have a little fun with him. Do you know, sir, I have a book at home (and a very old book) that contains every word of that speech you just deliv- ered? The Senator waxed wroth, and highly indignant replied: I insist that the speech was entirely original. I would not stoop to such a contemptible thing as plagiarism. I defy you to produce the book you men- tion; ' A few days later the Senator received the copy of the book. Twain had mailed him an old copy of Webster ' s dictionary. i i i Little Girl (disturbed at her prayers by scratching on the screen door): Stand by, God, while I let the cat out. i i i Steward: Your lunch will be up in a minute, sir. Passenger: So will my breakfast. ' S T, LOWK , I THIMK A WHEEL ' i Comimg OPT ! oner with vi 6, GRuce ; i ' v kim Dn TiRfcO 6f TH4T OUT-OF-U i Ad, KY5HF ' L »Oi: O0£SHE Swt-AK? „ ClfWCO we ON, Pout, SWEAR FOR T7 L ■ Ponzo: Dearest, do you think you cou ld be happy with a man like me? Helen: Well, perhaps, if he wasn ' t too much like you. i i i Shy Young Thing: I can ' t stand kiss- ing. Veteran: I ' ll admit it is a bit trying. Shall we find a seat? i i i I had an awful time with Amos last night. Amos who? A mosquito. i i i These boys are sisters. You mean brothers. No; they ' re my sisters ' boys. i i i Your time has come, the maid said as she brought back his watch from the jew- eler.

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FUN

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ft ± IIJ rrff 1.AFFS It was visiting day and the uplifter was on deck. My good man, said one kindly lady, I hope that since you have come here you have had time for m editation and have decided to correct your fault. I have that, mum, replied the prisoner in heartfelt tones. Believe me, the next job I pull this baby wears gloves. i i i Lecturer: Suppose I placed a pail of water and a pail of beer on this platform and brought on a healthy, normal donkey, which of the two would he take? He ' d take the water, came a voice from the gallery. And why would he take the water? the lecturer asked. Because he ' s an ass, was the reply. 1 i 1 Jeremiah always did possess a soft heart. He wrote: Dear Mrs. Clark: Your hus- band cannot come home today because his bathing suit was washed away. — Jeremiah Finnegan. P. S.: Your husband was in the bath- ing suit. A golfer at the Park Links had played a wretched game up to the ninth green. At the tenth tee, however, he drove a beau- tiful distance. Exultantly he turned toward the caddie and remarked: Well, how do you like my game? To which inquiry the caddie demurely replied: I don ' t know what you call it, sir, but I think I prefer golf. i i i Jones was quite an absent-minded per- son. Leaving his office to catch a train the thought struck him on the street that he must have left his watch behind. So he pulled out the timepiece to see if he had time enough to go back for it. Upon another occasion he reached his office and reading the sign which he had put up stating that he would be back in fifteen minutes sat down to wait. The a.i se it handed VroieSior G-oes to School