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Page 17 text:
VERNA JEAN IMHOFF
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Page 16 text:
Page 18 text:
One brlsk, W1UtPT ornlng 1n the y ar 1975, I sprang llghtly out
of bed nd pulled a plastlc suit over my electr1cally heated long
underwe r I swallowed three vltamwn ollls for breakfast CI always
have an enormous apoetlte 1U the WOFHlDg7, and Jumped 1nto my sports
cop or It 1 s the day for my weekly v1s1t to my old classmate, Verna
Je n Inhoff, the great lnventor, so I headed for her laboratory The
o thlng she has lnvented as f t 1S an electrlc eye that flts on the
doors of school bulldlngs nd de+ects gtm ln the mouths of the puplls
an never a pupll 15 caught golng through the door chewlng gum, two
steel hands, controlled br the electrlc eye, grab the student, reach
lnto h1s mouth, and remove the gum The only fault 1U the nachlne is
that about half the tlme the puplls tongue 1S removed along w1th the
Verna Jean was very glad to see me, but I thought I notlced a
gleam 1U her eye She told me she had lnvented somethlng new, a ma
chlne whlch travels 1U the hthdl1FUSlOH and can take a person anywhere
1U the orld 1U less than a second
WThe only thlng wrong lS that I need someone to test lt for m ,
she SW119d, and moved closer I started for the door
'Oh, no you don't I've got to be golng, now I wouldn't r1de 1n
that thlng for all then She moved closer
'No, absolutely not'N She plcmed up a p1pe wrench from a benc
I Jumped 1nto her 1nvent1on
HI'll be glad to test thls thlng for you How does lt wor OH
She showed me by S12mW1UP the door of the machlne ln my face and
throwlng a swltch on the fall Wverythlng started SD1UH1Ug and I was
s r that awe to, I would be dead
However, lt so happened that I never lost consc1ousness 1D the
f1rst place The SU1UU1Hg stopped abruptly and I clambered out to look
around I could see lmmedlately that I was 1U the m1ddle of Hollywood
In f ct, I was 1U the m1ddle of Gene Cordes' SW1mmlHg pool After an
ho1r's FlTl0US SW1WWlU9, I reached the edge and clambered out to talk
w1th Gene, whom I hadn't seen slnce we graduated from hlgh school I
told hlm he needed a halrcut, but he sald he was lettlng h1s halr grow
o1t been se h1s S+Ld1O was PO1Hg to brlng back the old movle 'Quo
Vadmsn, and he was POIHF to play the part of Ursus, the glant Gene
sa d he w s PO1UP to demand that they get h1m a stunt man to play h1s
part when he flghts the bull, because the I1TSt tlme he trled lt hlm
self, th btll stuck one of h1s horns clean through Gene, Just below
the heart I asked hlm 1f lt hurt ver ch t the t e, and Gene sald
only when he glgsled
I sald goodbye to Gene and declded to stroll through Hollywood
before I left I was QOIHH around a corner when I almost ran over Mar
lene Bond le were glad to see each other, and she told me she owned
a parrot farm now w1th l0,000 talklng parrots I asked her lf she
d1dn't thlnk havlng l0,000 parrots around the house wasn't a straln on
the nerfes, but she gust cocked her head, whlstled between her teeth
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