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Page 19 text:
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1 Ford M Hey. you married students and married students to be! You can ' t live in that nice apartment o r dorm forever. You know where you belong, and so does University Housing. Yes, you belong in the den of wedded bliss, the Married Student Apartments. It sounds enticing, but are you really well suited? Are you a true Spartan, one who only needs a monk ' s cubicle? Per- haps you feel comfort is one of the Seven Deadly Sins. The apartments on West Roosevelt (not to mention the collection on Nicholson) are a masochist ' s dream. (con ' t) Ford Ford
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Page 18 text:
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Ford Ford Ford Ford Married Students Ford 14 Student Life
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Page 20 text:
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Competent Psychiatric Assistance Ford Spacious Storage Area Ford Do you love to be very, very near to other featherless bipeds? Married Student Housing can give you the chance of your life the opportunity to hear heavy breath- ing from the couple three apart- ments over; or better yet, the exhilarating concerts when they team up for duets in the shower. Are you interested in the lives of others? Rephrased, are you nosy? Lucky you, Married Student Housing provides so you may hear every word your neighbors utter. Conversations waft in clearly through the gas heaters, uncen- sored. Having trouble waking up in the morning? Alarm clocks in neigh- boring apartments will help you rise and shine. Like to be looked after, as Mom used to do? Housing pops by once a month for Spray Day. Aside from spraying for roaches, these fine people check to make sure the oven is not embalmed in lard, as well as spy on ice buildup in the freezer. If this life of indolence and glamour appeals to you, kindly administer to yourself the follow- ing quiz: A. You have just moved into a new apartment in Unit I on Nicholson and discover a terrible curse. The last three couples who lived there separated. You are a practicing Druid and your spouse follows Voodoo. How do you solve this dilemma? B. While you are baking cookies at 3 a.m. your kitchen faucet breaks in two. You know nothing about faucets, as you grew up with 14 servants before your father ran off with Free Entertainment (The Thinnest Walls in Town) Ford 16 Student Life
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