Linden High School - Cynosure Yearbook (Linden, NJ)

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prowess to Jack Davidson. Hope you live through it, Red. His ability as a lexicographer Shaky Carkhuff leaves to Louis Glick. Willie Weisbrot leaves his wavy and well groomed hair to Joe Reisch. Don't be bashful with the iron, Joe. Her Virgilian laurels Anna Kalugin proudly bestows upon Tillie Budres. -Iarossy leaves his football medals to Jim Budrecki. Every little bit helps, Jim. Here is another offer for you, Bill Berry, if you won't accept Art's silent nature, Celia Siegel offers you hers. Emma Witfill leaves her various typing awards to Frances Schecter. We hope you won't try to wear them all at once, Frances. To Eleanor Mackey is bequeathed Rae Weinstein's ladylike manner. Anna Smiles falls heir to Molly Krav- etsky's high heels. The style is there, but we're not so sure about their comfort. Jack Dragon, the village butcher, leaves his slicing ability to Covalence. We hope you won't use it while playing golf, Paul. Bud,' Scott bestows his French laurels upon Irene Molson. To Madeline Page Anna Schuler leaves her graduation dress. Make the most of it, Madeline. Speaking of making the most of it, Ed Murawski is thinking of leaving his basket- ball suit to' Harold Whitman. Perhaps the trunks will make a nice pair of plus-fours for him. Lillian Smith is to become the proud pos- sessor of Lydia Covalence's blushing coun- tenance. Honest, Lillian, it's natural. Very willingly Julius Goldsmith bestows upon Jack Powers his easy How of historical facts. Mary Dobson is the recipient of Mary Beviano's marvelous ad-gathering ability. Elin Rosander's shyness is bestowed upon Edith Hudak. You will have to settle down, Edith. We, the class of 1927, do hereby acknowl- edge the above bequests, general and specific, as our last will and testament as drawn up and witnessed by the undersigned on this twenty-fourth day of March, 1927. Signed: SoLoN TUCKER, ESQ. HAVAPILL BREWSTER, M.D. ,l,li..-l- The Challenge Senior, come, I beckon! All men I summon, not all answer. To youth, who knows not despair, I seem as that which, long awaited, Makes its wonted appearance. Mistake not thou, O Senior, but haste, Stand ready to follow me. In years to come he who knew me not Will rue. But I shall not forsake him. Ever lurking silently, patient, In the dimness of the misty future Which o'erveil's the world in fog, I, With brilliant rays of Phoebus' strength, That mist do penetrate, disperse the ugly clouds, Come shining into life's dark chamber, And restore the cheery light of morn. But, thou, welcome me as now I call. Stand ready for thy task, heed thou my summons, When again I speak, thou mayst not hear. Senior, come, I beckon, I, whom happy men call Opportunity! IVIARGARET MoLsoN, '27,

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Last Will and Testament of the Class of 1927 , E, the Class of 1927, of Linden High School, according to established prec- edent, being warned that we must soon depart this scholastic life and being of sound mind, memory, and understanding, do hereby publish and declare the following as our last will and testament: First, our extraordinary athletic ability we generously bequeath to the junior Class. They sorely need it. Second, to the Sophomores we leave our preponderant wit and sense of humor. Third, to the Freshmen fthe poor down- trodden creaturesj we give our dignity and our pull with the study hall teachers. Furthermore, being a class richly endowed with individual genius, we take it upon our already overburdened shoulders to leave some of this individual ability to the poor and needy under classmen in the form and order hereby prescribed: To George Clark Red Hollister be- queaths his ability to get first in line in the cafeteria. Start doing your daily dozen, George. Hercules Dobson bestows upon Rosie Givens his ability to wiggle his ears. Frances Hurley leaves her permanent permanent to Sophie Di Leo. This may help your curls, Sophie. Mary Marron, we certainly pity your vic- tims. Helen Stead has decided that you shall inherit her ability to squeeze money out of stones. To lrene Teleky Muriel Squier and Eli- nor Rogers intrust the secret of their unique coitfure. Theirs is a rare, almost forgotten, art, Irene, guard it as you would your life. Rene Campbell bequeaths her position as cashier to Elizabeth Collins. Joe Monico and Abe Berger, the boys with the ever ready smile, have agreed to make their bequest general. Anyone feeling gloomy? just help yourself to a smile or two. Irish Nolan wills her swiftness of foot to Patty Nogi. That puts you on the right track, Pat Margaret Molson confers upon Helen Ziemanski her ever present forehead curl. Take warning, Helen, don't get caught in the rain! ' Fannie Belousofsky falls heir to Theresa Mopsick's unusual choregraphic art. We don't know what that means, but Tess says it's all rightg so blame her. Lucky Al Dabbg Pete,' Ezayuk has de- cided to leave him his ability to juggle tig- ures. Your physics experiments will always work out exactly right now, Alf Dearie Schonfeld bequeaths her ability to Charleston to Keevic Farber. Try it on the court, Farber. Sis Mauer leaves her ability to par- ley to Hazel Alexander. Sis used to be quiet too, Hazel. Tonny,' Tondora ,leaves her stock of varied and striking poses to Leona Brown. Remember, Leona, position is everything in life. Here is an interesting bequest: Art' Vornbauni offers to leave Margaret Berry his silent nature. We certainly hope you will accept the offer, Bill.,' Carl Hendrickson is the recipient of Wes Ainge's Colgate smile. If 'oo love me drin. Rebecca Hirschman's hard earned title, Firpo,', goes to Helen Kalocy. Get in train- ing, Helen. Matty ,lacob leaves the art of tilting her chin to Trixie Farkas. Heads up, Trix, Grygotis passes on to George Bienfang his oratorical ability. Lefty Berzon leaves his baseball ability to Carter Quinlan. Practice makes perfect, Carter. - To Solly Kominetsky Mannyl' Shapiro bequeaths his collegiate appearance. A Roy Gibbert's penmanship is generous- ly left to John Poth. We advise you to in- vest in a typewriter, John. Pete,' Jacobi falls heir to Chick Bous- ka's athletic ability. To Frank Suplesky go Sid,' Atkin's colorful sweaters and socks. -Upon Emanuel Margulies Germaine De Winter bestows her divers notebooks. They'll make things lots easier. Mendel, Here is an interesting field for debate practice, Winetskyg Rose Gutkin wills you her unsettled history questions. Mike Petraitis leaves his .football 9

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r Class Statistics Freshmen! Sophomoresl juniors! These statistics have been especially compiled so that you may know the achievements and abilities of the present Seniors and despair or aspire, et cetera. Now go on with the story. In the first place we are a class of great wisdom and inventive genius who apply our abilities for the good of mankind, for ex- ample: In physics laboratory the other day one of our more or less bright lights con- ceived the idea that if school- clocks were made to do work in addition to passing time away, a tremendous amount of energy could be transformed into useful work. He dis- covered that an ordinary school clock does 1,777,999,486,532,779 dynes of work every thirty-seven days, and that the combined force of all the clocks in the school accom- plishes 999,876,475,7S4,365,922,432,954,641 dynes of work each year. He further showed that this amount of energy could be made to run automatic exercises in the gym- nasium and thus prevent the over exertion of the students during physical training period. We are not certain to what extent this principle may be applied, but we have been assured by The Board of Education that it will supplant the five minute period of physical training after lunch during the next session. VV e modestly await your applause. It is also indirectly to our credit that the new system of marking, one of the greatest conservation measures of a lifetime, was put into effect. Statistics show that since the students have been receiving their report cards twice every three months instead of every month, failures have been reduced by one-third. Certain Seniors claim to receive four F's less every three months. This, as you will readily see, saves large quantities of red ink and teachers, energy as well as of parents, slipper leather. We are, be it known, full of knowledge and understanding. If the thoughts of one of our class were accumulated and placed in b0oks,they would Hll 1,403 volumes of 17,000 pages each. That is, 179,S76,543,264,987,- 910,516 of our valuable thoughts are going to waste each year through the lack of an instrument capable of recording the thoughts of an individual at all times. Were it pos- sible to compile these thoughts, they would no doubt furnish a library dry enough to cause the evaporation of all the Great Lakes and the Rahway River. If the class were pl'aced on a huge scale, it would take two steam engines and a motorcycle to balance us. But if, by chance, Mike Petraitis fell off, only two steam en- gines would be necessary to counter-balance us. Yes, this class has athletic prowess, too. The famed Swede Gibbert has been known to reach the cafeteria from room 203 in five seconds. Bring on your Paddock! Let us bring to your notice that as June approaches there has been an increase in the supply of tear gas prepared in our chemical laboratories. It is interesting to note that 9,467,453,742 cubic feet of tear gas have been made from tears shed since last Sep- tember. Our chemists have discovered a simple formula for preparing this gas. Clj 3 red F's plus 1 angry parent fcat- alytic -agent -quickens -the -actionj - .9643l pints of tears. C21 .9643l pints of tears plus 1 debate Cplenty of hot airj-7.456 cubic feet of tear gas. Wesley Ainge and Margaret Molson have given a generous supply of debates, others of the class have supplied the other neces- sary materials. Be it further known that our class is potentially one of the wealthiest in the uni- verse. According to statistics we make approximate-ly twenty dollars for every day we attend school. Then, considering the ex- tra classes and afternoon sessions as time and a half, and the extra terms as double time, this class is worth 32,36l,936g and since every mother's son of us Cgirls, tool is worth a milllion dollars, our wealth is 347,361,936 For further information re- garding this, see Philip Dobson. Books and books have been written re- garding this class, and doubtless more will be written. The shelves of our new library are groaning under the strain of the huge volumes of statistics of the Seniors of '27, Those who seek to find the truth of these statistics, we refer to the school library, volume 177, page 166, section D, paragraph X, entitled An Apology for the Hopelessly Exaggerated Statistics of the Class of '27. KENNETH CARKHUFF, ,27.