Leominster High School - Magnet Yearbook (Leominster, MA)

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over the peanut factory on Tremont Street and Ninus Papaz has been elected Governor of the newly-formed state, Paradise! Gertie Sullivan is private secretary to Judge Mahan and she said that his wife, Mrs. Barb MacDonald Mahan, has just returned from a trip abroad. Now that they’ve finished, let’s tune in on the television. By the way, notice that Paul Haire’s trademark is on theset. Ah! we’re just in time to hear and see the successors of Claudette Colbert and Clark Gable—namely, Madlyn Bourbeau and Ornan Cook. Madlyn didn’t forsake those bangs after all, and I guess Cookie decided he’s rather be America’s Heart Balm than a bone specialist. Just look at the coming attractions—Hmmm! At 7:30 tonight those celebrated croon- ers, Lauretta Johnson and Skootch Cocci are slated to croon, ‘““Hold me, Honey won’t you hold me?” And there’s Louise Wittman’s orchestra, featuring Barny Labelle and his cornet. See, he’s accompanying Sylvia Lacombe and Jimmie Lawler as they sing a duet. Say, Ralph, tune in on the five hundred-mile auto classic at Indianapolis. Look at that driving! Why Harwood Burdett and Franklin Cooper have just won this race in their Ford Radiola. Some daring, boys. We’ve had a rather hard day, folks. Suppose we take time off and visit Soapy’s Circus. Well, here we are for an hour or two of relaxation at the circus. There goes the last call for the elevator. Let’s hurry. Just a moment, boy. Why it’s Mendell Colburn and does he look classy in all that gold braid. This circus is certainly colossal. Who’s the flashy barker over there dressed in the checkered-suit, shiny derby, spats, and wearing the red carnation? He’s turned around. Why, it’s David Lubin. Just listen to that ceaseless flow of words! Why he says that Jimmie Enholm and Oscar Crotch are the world’s greatest trapeze artists. Yes, Iggy, I’ve enjoyed the circus just as much as you and Ralph, but now we’d better hurry. We’ve got to attend the court session. It begins in fifteen minutes. Here, taxiplane. Say, take off those goggles. I know you, Eddie Bassett. At last you’ve found a job with a thrill. Let us off at the courthouse. Arise! His Honor enters. Why it’s Pat Walsh. Listen sharply to the clerk, Rena Dinardo, swear in the jury. The foreman is Seymour Tharler, a silk merchant. Now comes Lilian Arm- strong, sob-sister on the News; Virginia Bates, matron of an orphanage; Doris Beaulieu, beauty salon matron; Anna Boyle, house painter; Dot Brown and Marie Caisse, dancers; Frances Church, and Lauretta Cormier, housekeepers; Helen Thompson, poet; and Mary Enright and Florence Townsend, waitresses at the Hotel Swank. The culprits can expect no pity from this jury. First case is that of State versus Janet Casey, humble interior-decorator. She is accused of having truly blond hair. Look at the jealous eyes of those jury-women. Of course, she’s found guilty. The sentence is that her name be recorded as Public Enemy No. 1. Look down there in the audience. Yes, in the first row to the right; that’s our old friend, Sybil Bordreau. She’s head librarian at the very exclusive Pay Club. I wonder why she’s attending the trial. Here’s the answer in the form of the next trial. Sybil was always interested in actresses. Next, why it couldn’t be anybody but Bettie Cook behind that veil. Sure enough. She’s registered as an actress and is on trial for singing in the bath-tub. Look how she beguiles the jury. And she’s acquitted. Why, what’s all the jabbering? Say, it’s Theresa Dargis and she’s accused of back-seat driving. By the way she’s a French teacher. She’s guilty and there’s Public Enemy No. 2. And behold what the last case brings forth. Eleanor Worthen, somebody’s secretary, up for jay-walking. We'd better leave now if that smiling policeman will open the door. Of course he will. It’s Charlie Whitney. Let’s walk back toward the office. Say, didn’t. you see any of the class on your trip from San Francisco? Ah! you are remembering something, Ralph? “Yes. I stopped off at the East Joloppie station to see Rudnicky at his trade of making paper dolls at the David Porter factory. Then I took a stroll down to the big airport and discovered that Eddie Lambert and Elmer Laakso were chief pilots. Upon returning to the town I met Bill Hoffman, speaker of the House, and he said that Russell Johnson is the new representative from Massachusetts, and he has as his secretary, Mae Legault. In New York, later in the day, I visited Jennie Vivo Amore’s Follies and met there the stellar attraction, Kathleen McHugh, who said 29 |

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Prediction on Classmates atl 1934 Stick and stones, Will break your bones; But names will never hurt YOU.— I think you’ve not forgotten how the graduating class of ’34, inspired with the hope of being the first to introduce that wonderful art represented by the well-known and well-recognized carica- tures of Mickey Mousse, presented to the school (at the close of that never-to-be-forgotten year) a statue of the aforesaid founder of the newly recognized art. As this statue was made of platinum and had eyes of radium, it was rather an expensive gift, and you may be sure that it was procured on that ancient but yet adequate plan—namely, the installment plan. The agreement was that every two years the members of the class would be solicited in proportion to their salaries in order to meet the coming installment. Fourteen years have passed and the Bureau of Missing Persons, of which I am general manager, has been engaged to discover the whereabouts and doings of the members of the class of 734 in order that they may be solicited for the coming installment. As the problem confronting our agency is such a great task, I have called in the managers of our two largest branch offices, one in San Francisco and one in New York, to help me in my quest. Ah! I hear a noise outside. Why they have just arrived by radiola. Upon my word, the manager of our San Francisco office is none other than Ralph Palumbo; and oh, a glass of water, Henry, the manager of the New York office, is none other than “‘Iggy’’ Firmin. This is going to be an enjoyable quest. Dear me, just a moment, Iggy and Ralph, there’s the telephone. Hello! Yes, this is the world’s leading detective agency. What? Say, Iggy and Ralph, here’s a new customer and an old friend. It’s Ronny Cahill, and guess what? The unforseen has happened. He wants us to put a detective on the trail of his lost wife. Well, Ronny, give us a description of her and we’ll see what wecando. Whatdoyousay? It’s Cecile Trabold. That’s great. Say, managers, write her name down on that solicitation list for the Leominster High School. Her occupation—home-keeper. Pardon, Ronny, but what are you doing now? What! You’re a professor in English at Skiddy- Lee University. Thank you. Well, managers, what can we expect next, although I’m sure Miss Pierce could have vouched for the English capabilities of Cahill. Now to get down to brass tacks. How do you suggest we are to go about this business on hand? Here, while you’re waiting look through these late editions of the Lemon-Squeeze Gazette. What do you say? Our classmates are represented in the Gazette! Who are they? Let’s see. Why, yes, Terry Adams has an “‘ad”’ for expert hairdressing. That’s not surprising. Terry always had a wave for all the ladies. And say! Here’s aspeech of Danny Bell’s printed verbatum. He’sa member of the legislature now. He always showed great qualities of leadership on the grid, and wasn’t he president of our class? And here’s Bicknell’s ‘‘ad’”’ declaring that he bends the best pretzels. That’s great. He’s got a German job to go with the haircut. Well, I guess that’s all the help we’ll get here. Just a minute; here’s a notice saying that Wally Fini is running in the Cross- the-Country-Marathon. Good luck to Wally. He always had a great love for travel. Say, here are the repair men ready to fix the television set. You’ll know them. They’re Stretch Brooks, Buzz Buskey, and Lloyd Strout. What a combination! Brooks does the stretch- ing; Strout, the bending; and Buskey, the buzzing. Well, Brooks, what can you tell us about the class of 7384? Only that Soapy’s Circus has come to town? Soapy who? Oh, Soapy Paul. And you say that he’s collaborated with the successor of Frank Buck and an old friend. That’s easy. It must be Biff Wilson. I remember reading how Biff was tackling all the dinosaurs down in Little America. Have you anything to add, Strout? (A needless question.) What! Robert Strang has taken 28

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that George Lemoine was just getting ready to select the cast for his next comedy. While I was still talking with Kathleen, I heard a crash and rushed from the building to witness the accident. Betty Mark, aviatrix, had crashed on her way to New York from San Francisco, was slightly in- jured, and was now being treated by Dr. John Maxim. While at the scene of the crash I met Maria Montaquila, poetess, on her way to the offices of the New York Times with her latest poem. She said that she did stenographic work on the side for Lloyd Miner, business man. As I went around the corner I bumped into Ray White, news-hound, returning to the offices of the Tribune. He was going to turn over his latest attempts at essay writing to the editor, Alice Seamond. When I went to the theatre in the afternoon, I met Dick Pierce directing his orchestra and saw Vivian Johnson, without the specs, trying out for the new Hit of the Week Show—namely, Back in ’34. Just after I had left the theater I was the victim of an automobile accident. Al- though it was nothing very serious, I found myself in the hospital where I remained for three days. What a pleasant surprise awaited me there. Lucy O’Gassion was head nurse and informed me that Margaret McLaughin was one of the doctors at the hospital. While recuperating, I heard a rumour to the effect that Norman Leighton, Latin instructor to Tony Piano, a prominent lawyer, had just bagged a lion in South Africa. I’d almost forgotten to say that Harry Olson, one of our agents, had succeeded in giving me information about three of our classmates. He told me that while searching for desperadoes in the slums he had met Leo O’ Mealey who was doing his bit to better the world by giving speeches on the importance of good citizenship. His secretary, Irma Person, was across the street at the time, dancing with Stuart Sargent, a most prominent criminal lawyer. Olson thought she was attempting to reform him. I might add that before I came to your office this morning, it was my good fortune to see six of the girls from the class of ’34 at the offices of the American Can Co. Madeline Mager and her secretary, Christine McColl, were arguing with their head saleswoman, Evelyn Lyonnais. In the inner office I perceived Marion Lundigan con- versing with her gum-chewing expert, Rita Manning, while Betty Middlemas, apprentice at the trade, looked on. Leaving the office I boarded a sight seeing bus and rode out to the suburbs. There I met Emma Taylor and Esther Little, leading debutantes of the season. We had little time to talk as I noticed by my watch that I had about twenty minutes in which to reach your office.”’ “Well, Iggy, I guess you’ve remembered a few by now. Let’s have them.” ‘To begin with I recently visited Bob Holyoke Ward’s laboratory in New York City and used his telescope. I soon had the telescope ready and then before my eyes came Ding Reed doing his bit to educate the natives in South Africa. Bones St. Cyr was also there, trying to improve the beauty of the natives by giving facials. I just shifted the telescope a bit and there was George Fiffy finally winning the milerun. It seems that nobody was allowed to enter the race that could do the mile in less than six minutes. And there was Ralph Kennedy, radio announcer, sending out news of the race. Having an afterthought I sighted Lunenburg and there found Marjorie Kimball Tonseth herding goats on the Lunenburg hillsides. Evidently, she shipped the milk to the nearby Horace Falk Goat’s Milk Dairy. As I left the laboratory I met Harold Farwell standing under the old three blackball sign which hung over his shop, trying to sell a Scotch plaid shirt that had been pawned by Bernard Flinton, the artist. At the nearby news-stand “True Romances’ drew my attention, and there I saw a picture of Alyce Rouisse on the lovelorn page of which she is editor. Alyce, well experienced in such matters, was giving advice to Dencie Ward and Marion Farnsworth on “‘Catching Your Man.” And here I also saw the advertisement of a palmist, Madame Kwayauskas. Farther on down the street I became interested in a theatre, and as I entered I was met by Winthrop Mayo, head usher, who admitted that his ever ready smiles had gotten him the job. Coming out of the theatre an hour later, I continued my stroll down the street, my eyes confronting the familiar sign of the Brockelman Brothers store. A great crowd was gathered before Brockelman’s listening to the manager, Harold Finn, announce the rules of 30