Leominster High School - Magnet Yearbook (Leominster, MA)

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inde Negro servant to master: ‘Marse John, d’yo’ comb yo’ hair ebbry mo’- nin’? Bees Garlic,” “D’yo’ brus’ yo’ shoes ebbry mo’- nin’? ies, Charlie.’ “Marse John, d'yo’ wash yo’ face an’ brus’ yo’ teeth ebbry mo’nin’ ?” pees, Charlie,”’ “Den, Marse John, yo’ sholy mus’ be an awful lot 0’ boddah to yo’self.” we Teacher (scornfully): “Oh, Stew- ard may not be Willie, but Willie may be steward.” Freshman chorus: ‘‘Tee, hee!”’ w A Sophomore once approached “the guv'nor,”’ asking to be allowed to attend dancing school. The fa- ther instantly became furious and delivered a long lecture on the evils of dancing, ending by saying, ‘‘Danc- ing is one of the greatest evils of the present day; it is nothing more than hugging set to music, and if I had my way something would be done a bout it.” Whereupon the lad suggested: “You might leave out the music, Guv'nor.” ww A bashful young High School couple, who were evidently much in MAGNET es love, entered a crowded West St. car one noon. “Do you think we can squeeze in here?” he asked, looking doubtfully at her blushing face. “Don’t you think, dear, we had better wait until we get home?” was the low, embarrassed reply. SNORES — a Poe(m) Though the night without is dreary, Though | feel so weak and weary, My thoughts are very cheery As I slumber with my bedmate in our school. As I cross the river, ‘ Dreamland.” There comes a racket close at hand— A racket like a German band. It is a snore. It is my bedmate’s awful snore, I shiver as there comes once more That furious, breeze-splitting snore Some eight times louder tban before. It isa bore. My bedmate still sleeps calmly on. As I stumble, weak and weary, Out on to the floor so dreary, There comes again the roar, still cheery, Just as before. I soon determine on revenge. And as he lies in harsh repose I squeeze a clothespin on his nose, Connect a spark coil to his toes. The noise keeps on. He sleeps alone. All I do amounts to naught, With many anxious feelings wrought I sink into a chair in thought. Crescendo snore. Tonight I'll sleep no more. Business Men Demand and pay well for what the Worcester Business Institute furnishes COMPETENT OFFICE HELP They demand that those who enter their employ from the commercial schoo] must have better training than ever. We are meeting that demand in a most satisfactcry manner, therefore itisnotsurprising thatOU R STUDENTS TAKE PREFERENCE when- ever a position is open. It pays to get a high grade training, and “ Nothing is dear that pays.” Write for ‘‘The Proof” and Catalogue, Worcester Business Institute C. B. POST, Principal. 476 [lain Street.

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20 THE MAGNET French teacher: “ Translate, ‘Pas de leur Rhone que nons.’”’ Sophomore: ‘Paddle your own canoe.”—Am. Loy. w Teacher: ‘Who was Anne Hutch- inson?-’ Scholar: ‘Ym sorry to say I never met the woman.” w Though you search through Rhode Island and Maine, Or through the whole Yankee domain, By day or by night: What can equal the sight Of a Freshman with tall hat and cane? ww Teacher: ‘How can I divide thir- teen apples among four boys?”’ Fohnny: “Make them into apple sauce.” a ie QO.—What’s good for a toothache? A.—First make a good large hole in your tooth, and then eat some of this new-fangled fudge. ww If money were athing that people could buy All the rich would live, and the poor would die. ww Who said to. A. S. K. Bailey? w . Miss Mary had a little lamb Whose name we'll say was Hyatt: And if there was one wickedest trick That little lamb would try it. w Teacher (tersely): “In that poem instead of ‘pretty’ you should use beautiful’ @ Bettes-meter,” Pupil (in surprise): “ Better. meet nerrs : w A Soph, with his head in a whirl Said, “ There is but one place in the world, It's Whalom for mine, For the moon would not shine Without ‘ Little Curly Girl.’” JOKES Fohnny (who has struck a snag in his mathematics): ‘“‘Pa, what is dif- ferential calculus?” Father: “Oh, try it on somebody else. I’ve told you a thousand times, Johnny, that I’m no good on conun- drums.” we There once was an old maid of Oneida Who screamed at the sight of a speida; She would kick at a lamb, Run wild at a ram, But fearlessly tackle hard ceida. w Wille (who always wants to know): “Say, pa, why does. the railroad company have those cases with a saw and an ax in each car?” fa (from recent experience): “Oh, I suppose they are there in case any one wants to open a window.” w A youth loved a maiden named Pearl, But she had no use for the churl, So he married her mother And won't let any other Young man come to visit the girl, w Teacher (kindly): “You are dig- ging holes in the sand, I see, Char- lies Young Hopeful: ‘Naw; yer guessed wrong. I’m diggin’ out the dirt an’ leavin’ the holes, see?” w There once was a managing ed Who got up so late out of bed That when he }ooked ‘round All the stockings he found Were one that was blue and one red. »

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New England Watches are good timekeepers, they are fully guaranteed, they are not high-priced, they are made in all sizes, they are cased in nickel, silver, gun metal, gold-filled and gold cases. We have a complete line of them. Prices $2 to $15 FE. | THOMAS BRACKETT MILLINERY Latest styles in Ready-to-Wear Hats. Untrimmed Hats in fall and winter styles, also feathers and wings in large assortment. Mrs. M. E. Bowen, 54 Main St., cor. Merriam Av. Fall Hats Shapley Bros. Buy Adler’s Clothing and you wear the best clothes in America. C. C. Lawrenceraaee: Pe Ee ohonucreos Agents for King Arthur Flour RB McPherson Shoe Repairing 23 Water St. GOODWIN CONLON Shoes Leave all your orders for GUT FLOWERS — 2; Z, AND PLARTS with LYON the FLORIST Telepbone Connections 82 Pleasant St. E. P. DURAND Meats, Provisions, and Groceries Tel. 223-4 122 Spruce St. FOR QUALITY PATRONIZE Blue Ribbon Laundry Company D. F. McGuige Dependable Footwear Money back if you want it 4 Main Street 10 Manning Ave. CLIFFORD CASWEEa Home Made Candies and Ice Cream Tel. 204-3 Leominster, 40 Monument Sq. Mass. Patronize our Advertisers.