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Page 9 text:
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Biographies of the Epitome Editors. By Gagh Ojithei . Mr. Davis. — This prodigy of editorial wit is said to have shone tirst upon Bethlehem at a period previous to the memory of man. In speak- ing of that long-forgotten age, he says, When I was a Freshman. It is. rumored that, even before that era of the world ' s history, he taught the gallant youths of Swarthmore to run, and play tennis. He is at present engaged in organizing glee clubs, and in getting as little work as possible into ten hours a week. Owing to his strict adherence to everything English in the way of dress and manner, he is consulted as an authority upon such points. In college he is taking what is known as the Davis Special Course, which consists principally of English Literature, as a critic of which he soon intends to rival Macaulay. All students taking this course are on all occasions obliged to wear knickerbockers, an ulster and a Tam- o ' -Shanter, and to smoke a straight briar-wood pipe. He is remarkable for the sweetness and flexibility of his voice, which may be heard at any hour of the twenty-four in I never drink behind the bar, by a simple tension of the cord. He devotes his spare moments to writing very, very funny gags on the students and faculty for travelling theatrical troupes, which are inveigled into stopping at Bethlehem. As Chairman of the Epitome Com- mittee, he is certainly ornamental, if not useful. Chas. E. Clapp. — This somewhat corpulent piece of humanity was born somewhere in the Western Reserve, and sometime within the last quarter century. Concerning his boyhood we know very little, except that he early manifested a liking for the sciences, on one occasion having disinterred the remains of a deceased pet dog for the purpose of setting up
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Page 10 text:
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its skeleton, and having thereby incurred the extreme displeasure of its former owners. His ardor, somewhat dampened by this unfortunate at- tempt, has never since been displayed to any great degree ; but, from the large number of college catalogues that adorn his walls, and likewise his daily receipt of the same, we judge that he still nourishes the hope of some day, when he can do so without molestation, prosecuting his researches to his heart ' s content. We are also told that, at home, he is quite an eques- trian, but of this we are unable to judge, all his riding here being done in strict privacy. From our own personal acquaintance with him, we can say that he is a great patron of public fetes and festivals, both within and out of doors, and that he never allows any to escape him — so long as he has a free pass. He is also quite an advocate of monopolies, and he has practi- cally shown this by monopolizing all the business of purchasing Dutch ponies, etc., for the class. Coming from a city of electric light, this place has always seemed rather dark to him, and he has occasionally found it convenient to have a candle light placed in his window to guide him home at night ; but this, it seems, has proved insufficient, and he has now pre- vailed upon the South Bethlehem authorities to place a large lamp directly in front of his residence. With all his faults, he has succeeded in implant- ing himself quite firmly in the hearts of his classmates, for they have honored him, not only by making him one of the editors of Ye Epitome, but by electing him president of his class. Mr. Howe was born, at a very early period of his existence, in Bris- tol, R. I. He is a direct descendant of Mark Antony, the celebrated poli- tican and stump speaker, and whose name, along with those of a few other generals, he bears. The first event of note in Mr. Howe ' s career occurred on the day of his baptism, when he was christened Mark Antony De Wolfe Howe, Jr. Many another weaker nature would have drooped under this burden ; but, though the effort to support the misanthropic character of three such war- like cognomens has embittered a naturally sunny nature, it has not destroyed that reputation for morality which stands as pure and high as his collars. The dissipations he encountered while in that gay and wicked Paris of America, Philadelphia, were counteracted by the culture and refinement of Reading, Pa., and an enforced sojourn with the present Junior Class for three months failed to contaminate him. At the University he shines as an instructor of music as well as a student. His introduction of Lala Ge La and O ' Brien with Knickerbockers has been a boon to the College Glee Club. He is noted more especially for the introduction of the Howe walking-stick, the style of which would have been more widely followed had his friends discovered the wood pile from which it was selected. Why he was elected on the Epitome Committee we are unable to ascertain, unless the class wished to turn his attention to lighter subjects than the numerous
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