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Page 15 text:
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History ot ' Eightv-two. THIS last page in the history of ' 82, to be complete, should contain accounts of several little events not foreshadowed in the Regis- ter ; but we refrain from uncomfortable details with an entire willingness to let bygones be bygones, and proceed at once to a noting of the salient points. In December, Mr. Hopkins gave the class a supper in recognition of the fact that he had been permitted, through the self-denial of his class- mates, to score the biggest marks and take the Wilbur scholarship. The supper was in every way worthy of the attention it received, and went far towards convincing the class that a properly conducted class- supper should be a part of the course. In January we all came back without conditions, but nothing further of note occurred until our trip to the mines at Hazleton,where we stayed a week, and scored another grand success. A notice of our arrival and assurances of our eminent respectability and friendly intentions towards the inhabitants, were put in the local paper as soon as its reporter was able to interview us ; and our missionaries soon found out where the post-office was, and at what time the gentler part of the population con- gregated there. They found a large field for their loving labors, and more unworked than the Allentown district. Owing, to the exclusive- ness of the miners, we were obliged to work in the mine at night. This, of course, necessitated the use of lamps, but notwithstanding this our survey closed exactly, and upon ceinparing our work with the recorded survey in the office of the company, we discovered several mistakes in the latter. In June, when it became necessary to consider the publication of the mock programme (with a very small m and a very small p), we decided to depart from the usual custom, and did not publish any. Our reasons for this step are already sufficiently known to those who are capable of appreciating them, and we will not waste valuable time and space in trying to convert the unregenerate. We will briefly restate,
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Page 16 text:
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however, what every one ought to know, that the mock programme has always been a collection of undignified allusions, understood by none save the few who were personally concerned, and, when not flat and pointless, scurrilous and obscene. As we did not care to be flat and point- less, we refrained from the publication. Our supper to the graduating class, which was our substitute for the mock programme, was enjoyed and appreciated by both classes, and left a much heartier and more satisfied feeling with all concerned. In September the whole class returned, and found the Freshman class the largest on record, most of the Sophomores grown out of recol- lection, and the whole body of students Agitated over the proposed publication of a college paper. At the fall sports we stood back, in a manner becoming our newly acquired dignity, and allowed the younger classes to get all the prizes they wanted, devoting our whole attention to the production of whiskers and all the other conventional signs of senioric greatness. We did, indeed, enter a team for the tug of-war, and were pulling our adversaries all over the field, until we heard our - selves referred to as the Senior team.which brought to us so forcibly the indignity of the whole proceeding, that we let go the rope as one man, and were on our feet in time to hear the other fellows cheer, after having recovered their balance from our sudden influx of dignity. All this dignity and manly conduct has also had its effect upon the Faculty ; they too treat us as our three years of polite sympathy and attention towards their labors deserve. When we flunk, they pass it by, and assure us that we will be all right in the morn — at the end of the term. They consult us on every possible occasion, calling us by our Christian names, and manifest in many ways their appreciation of our distinguished consideration. And now, ladies, ye stars of Bethlehem, ye who have discovered with the true, unerring feminine instinct that we never have any hours of ease, and that pain or anguish always marks our brow, if ye have tears prepare to — But, no ! the task of our valedictorian must not be a sinecure ; on second thoughts, you may bask yet a while in the sun- shine of our impartial smile, and pain and anguish shall continue to mark the massive brow of the class of ' 82. HISTORIAN. 12
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