Lancaster High School - Mirage Yearbook (Lancaster, OH)

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18 MIRAGE An idyll is when one trys to be the same as another person. When a student does not know the answer to a question, he does one of three things. If he is a good student he will simply leave a blank space on the paper, while if he is not he will either try 10 bluff it through or else pass it off as a joke. These latter cases are rare. Occasionally, however, there will be a real gem, which does the student good by putting the teacher in a good humor and so make him unconsciously mark the paper less severely. I came across two such gems recently in the papers of a college English class. One question was: “Who was St. Bruno?” to which the student replied: St Bruno was a great Dane, the brother of St. Bernard.” The other question was: “What was the difference between the major prophets and the minor prophets?” This time he answered: “It would be sacrilege for me, a miserable sinner, to make invidious comparisons between such holy men.” Examination papers are truly a source of humor. Other sources are children’s questions and answers, girls’ gossip, the Irish and other nationalities from the American standpoint, puns, mother-in-law jokes, dreams of going to heaven, country life from the city stand- point, occasional stuff such as is brought out by the North Pole con- troversy or the high-cost-of-living campaign, animal conversations and so forth, ad infinitum. A mother asked her little son what become of the jelly that was in the pantry. In a non-cimmital way the young diplomat answered: “I think it is with the cookies that were on the sideboard.” “Papa, asked a little fellow one evening. “Why do they call our language the Mother Tongue?” “I’ll tell you my son ” answered the father after a cautious glance to assure himself that the head of the house was nowhere near. “It is because your mother is the only one around here who gets a chance to use it.” Examples of girls’ gossip are endless. Here is one however, that can be used to illustrate my point. “So Jack and Gwendolyn are married. Can he support her in the way she has been accustomed to live?” And the answer comes back. “Support her! Why he can't even support himself in the way she had been accustomed to see him while he was courting her.” The Irish have borne the brunt of more jokes and originated more real humor by far than any other nationality. They raraly commit suicide because they ha e a philosophy of living in which

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MIRAGE 17 The comic view is perfect because it takes nothing seriously and impales the inevitable on a smile. What is it that made $260,000 for the originator of Billiken, that little barefooted fellow who went the length and breadth of thi3 country and brought home the golden harvest for his originator? It is because the heart of humanity is always hungry for a smile. Billiken says: “I force the failure to his feet, I make the growler grin, I am the god of happiness, my name is Billiken.” So essential is humor to a well balanced individual that Dr. Eliot has given it a prominent place in the religion of the future. He says the new religion will have more laughter in it. It will be a religion of love, of work, service, sanitation, deep breathing, broad thinking, good food and above all laughter, cheerfulness and contentment. Mark Twain, the king of a nation of humorists, knew better than any one how to turn a frown into a smile. Notice his treatment of the bitterness attending a wet-dry fight. A community is divided against itself, friendships are broken, customers lost, and a general feeling of distrust and ill will prevails. Into a situation like that Mark Twain injects a bit of his characteristic humor: “I am a friend of temperance, and I want it to suc- ceed, but I don’t think prohibition is practical. The Germans you see, prevent it. Look at them! They have just invented a way of making brandy out of saw dust. Now what chance will prohibition have when a man can take a rip saw and go out and get drunk with a fence rail? What is the good of prohibition if a man is able to make brandy mashes out of the shingles on his roof, or if he can get the delirium tremens by drinking the legs off his kitchen table?” You pupils think the grading of examination papers an irksome task. To be sure, there is the monotonous grind of the same ques- tions, the same mistake and the tedious hours under high pressure. But there is another side. Listen to these answers from your latest examinations: The reason Irving was so interested in Charlecot Estate was because they were going to move the bones to Westminister Abbey. The Normans and Saxons were no relation at all unless they married each other. Bryant wrote the Conquest of Grandpa.

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MIRAGE 19 is mixed a generous portion of humor that no circumstance, however tragic, completely overthrows their balance. It is mirth that keeps us sane and suicide is temporary insanity. The Irish know how to impale the inevitable on a smile. This story the authenticity of which I cannot vouch for, will serve as an illustration. A Frenchman took his Irish mechanic along one day for a trial flight in an aeroplane. At the height of about four thousand feet a wing broke and the machine and its occupants started for the earth at a rapidly increas- ing rate. After va'nly clutching lever after lever in an attempt to stop the mad flight, the operator turned to the mechanic and asked hopelessly: “Pat, do you think the Lord is with us?” The ready answer came back. “Well, if he is he’s goin’ some.” The pun has been called the cheapest form of wit, yet it is in common use, even the immortal Shakespeare has recourse to it when he has the Porter say to the Tailor: “Come in Tailor, here you may roast your goose!” A young fellow had received a diamond ring for Christmas and was being teased about it , his friends saying the stone was not gen- uine, that it was only paste. “Well, I don’t care. If it is paste I’m not stuck—it didn’t cost me anything,” was the prompt retore. City folks have always felt the divine right as it were, of poking fun at the ruralite. Whether justly so or not is a matter of some question. In our own high school, where we have a fair representation of both, an impartial judge would find great difficulty in awarding the Stupidity Prize to the up-country folk. Somehow or other, when note books are called for, the rural precincts are first heard from, the Hooker Station themes show more coherence, and the Sugar Grove problem is driven to a more prompt and logical solution. The country boy comes to the city and makes good, while Archibald stands on the corner rolling a fresh cigarette and takes an extra turn in the bottom of his trousers, wondering how it all happened. As a flare-back to the time when conoitions were not thus, let me quote a news item from a nearby paper: “Jack Binks took the sheet iron thunderstorm from the Amandy Opery House to fix the boiler on his saw mill and the drama has received quite a set-back in these parts.” Humor, you see, is often a matter of viewpoint. Time and chance have produced the great men of all ages, so does the occasion bring out its ridiculous side. A political campaign is seasoned with fun to molify the unreasonableness of a struggle of strong men. The North Pole discovery (?) was almost all farce. The suffragette agitation is not so funny—at times. Cannon’s fignt