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Page 84 text:
Wa formerisl lengthy stature to
ll May Day
ff 4 0n the morning of May lirst, nine-
teen six, J. Wilhelm Dorn driving across
the campus behind his handsome cast
iron gazelle, as is his custom, was
startled to behold a runaway barber
pole standing in front of North Hall,
gaily decorated with colored streamers.
Overhead hung the iron clapper of the
college bell that rings each hour for the
students to change professors. Near
by was a large sign, "No class todayfi
A constantly increasing throng was
growing about a throne of wood that
was raised facing the barber pole.
Soon, amid loud acclaims, a Queen ofthe
May was chosen, a stately and blushing
beauty arrayed in a blue mother hubbard. lmmense cheering and the singing of a stir-
ring ballad followed, to the effect that, inasmuch as the present occasion was the first day
of May, the faculty could talie a well earned rest, which gentlemen lay low, saying noth-
ing but sawing a couple of days off the Senior vacation.
About this time, however, one of Erslcineis more ambitious metaphors soaring slay-
ward exploded at a great altitude and brought on a heavy shower of rain. His majesty, the
Queen, thereupon withdrew her court and train, attendant equipages, loyal serfs, etc., to
the gym, capturing it without difliculty. lmmersing Kelly in the tank below, the merry
bunch let Hy and tore up the stilly calm that precedes the storm, and passed a pleasant
morning until lVlr. Babcoclcis sumptuous repast of popcorn and game of like nature were
served, after which the survivors broke loose again. lbelieve a basketball game was
attempted, and a mock wedding, but the report that a riot call had been sent in to Fort
Sheridan caused a lull in the proceedings, and the conspirators retired to their quarters
in good order.
Perhaps it would be well to remember here the gallant attempt of our dauntless engi-
neer to restore the barber pole, which subsequent to the foregoing proceedings had
found its way by paths no man or freshman knoweth to the top of college hall, ascending
to which altitude the engineer found himself the victim of a plan to store heat for that
building by the enforced presence of the aforesaid on its roof. His ladder being removed,
the plaintill found himself stranded as
high as his own smoliestaclx and about ,
as dry. Attempt after attempt was made
on the part of his adherents for rescue
but in vain, and the aforesaid gentleman
would have been in the identical situa- V cf-W5-'lx
tion to this day had not J. W. Dorn hit
on a device, which being communicated
to the former enabled him to
tal-:e advantage of his fthe
f slide down his own leg and
so gain terra firma in safety.
F52 s -.
We .w t
,iv Y K
Page 83 text:
Promptly at live minutes before six o'cloclc students began to gather-lor it had been hinted that the there would
be something extra in the line of a "feed," At the proper time lthat is when the door openedi they proceeded
rather promiscuously lor their seats in the dining hall of the Commorfs building, whcrc a sumptuous dinner
had been prepared by Mother Harper and her elilicient culinary corps. The tables were tastefully and beauti'
fully decorated with turlcey, cranberry sauce and triangles of pumplcin pie. With capable carvers presiding
at the tables and the assistance of the sprightly white robed attendants, all in sight was quickly consummated.
After the clatter of lcnives and forks had subsided Professor Burnap rose and after proclaiming that in
being able to comb his top hair with a towel he could do what none of us could do, he proceeded to humor-
ously relate his exploits with football players who had been in his classes. The genial professor then presented
the monograms to the several members of the team -each with a fitting eulogy.
With the general sing that followed it can hardly be expressed too strongly that these occasions serve a
most helpful function in the "building up" of the spirit that counts.
MARRIED MEN-WIDOWERS' INDOOR BASEBALL GAME
Ben Franklin, or some one like that, once said that to be successlul a man must be married and the annual
indoor game again demonstrated the truth of that statement. The Bachelors tried to get away from their
"Jonah" by simply changing their name to 'AWidoxs'ers," but they seem to be dying a natural death. for with
this yearis desertions all hope ol- the future is lost.
The Widoxy'ers were not wholly satislied with defeat and their captain gave out this interview alter the
game: "l am sorry that the game was not postponed as several of my best men were unable to play tonight
and we were forced to play without a full team. Had the team been l-ull it is hard to tell what might have
Page 85 text:
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