Lafayette College - Melange Yearbook (Easton, PA)

 - Class of 1914

Page 322 of 404


Lafayette College - Melange Yearbook (Easton, PA) online yearbook collection, 1914 Edition, Page 322 of 404
Page 322 of 404

Lafayette College - Melange Yearbook (Easton, PA) online yearbook collection, 1914 Edition, Page 321
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Lafayette College - Melange Yearbook (Easton, PA) online yearbook collection, 1914 Edition, Page 323
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Page 322 text:

the class over the ethereal tones of our Doktor's divine voice Was rudely interrupted by the harsh sounding bell of South. "el The Doktor heavedqa superhuman sigh. Thenclass silently files out Call warlike thoughts having been dissipatedj, and meditates upon the great progress of modern education when, in the short space of one hour, so many lofty subjects can be discussed, the inspiration of poets can be breathed, and the rapture of song can be felt. A Supernatural Episode, or Why a College Professor Went to the Devil SAINT Peter-"My dear man, who are you?" "I," answered the new-comer, "I am Jones, a member of the faculty of Bluff College." Saint Peter-"Oh yes, I've heard of you. And, pray, what is your request?" College Professor-"I would enter Heaven." St. Peter-"How now, Sir, and what have you done?" Col. Prof.-"Well, your Holiness, for one thing, I caused good upon the Earth by persuading young men to come to college. You see I was publisher of the College Catalog, and .......... " St. Peter-"Enuf! Below with you, and all your kind I" Satan Cone-tenth of a second laterj-"Well, Mr. College Professor, I have received an aero- gram this instant to admit you into my sanctum. Can you say anything about yourself?" Col. Prof.-"Good Devil, I merely mentioned to the one above that I was publisher of the College Catalog, and ........ " Satan-"Enuf! Here, Spitfire, lead this 'wolf in sheep's clothing' into the pit where the 159,738 suicides are, who took their lives on account of being unable to live down to the catalog expense account as compiled by this wretch and his like. Let them pitch into him to their hearts' content! Next!" 315

Page 321 text:

,- .. ,i r 1 . l if-1... 25 bmi A-nv' E M , p ,W , , ,,, ,,,,,,,,. M 1 ' , . .Iii'tiJl3fl-F7 U tllliflfii t .w'l"1'H1+t'mi,w. - ... .V ui. I pmiii-.. !"2,,ff.. M.-N ,. . ,.,. ,K i ' -.:f'-L.:. ' 7 --ai .- '75"r',--file'-"'ifF' 3' 'fbi' i lf"5.if-inlA3.'l 1 i f. i V rn V ' , 5 'I ,A.V,, 'O A 'YI tlxnivgfl 1 i All Hi. -K L'L.....L.L..,,-if -lvilhfiv 'gf .fu -rf 1 n'1....--'rg tircnfj 'A'.1u...,:4,l..L.i,A" the Doktor's interest was so arousedias to make him oblivious of all errors, or all must be correct.j The conversation continues. Herr Pryce, forgetting to answer, asks: "Herr Laird, kormen Sie." Herr Laird-"Ich kann." QThe prodigy never crrs.j "Herr Palmer, wohncn Sie in P'burg?" One can best understand the righteous indignation of this ill-timed insinuation when it is realized that Herr Palmer comes from no less a place than Pen Argyl. Palmer's fury bid fair to play havoc with the conversation and the Doktor's peace, but the mighty Pryce restrains him. Subsiding, Herr Palmer shouts, "Nein, never!" and asks "Herr MoFfat, Wo waren Sie last night?" Herr Moffat-"Ich Weiss nicht." This unexpected truth was so sudden that the class almost awakened the Doktor from his infatuation, but Herr Moffat quickly asks: "Herr Miller R., sind Sic frisch?" ' Herr Miller, not understanding this last word, and seeing in it only a humiliating insinuation, assumes a belligerent attitude by taking off his glasses and preparing to take off his coat. Herr Moffat tremblcs and tries to explain. The class anxiously awaits. At this point our prodigy Herr Laird assumes the role of peaccmaker and averts hostilities by starting the conversation with, "Herr Ketchledge, wohin gchcn Sie to-night?" QThe Doktor must have reached the theatrical page of the magazine, for it verily seemed as though he couldn't be aroused and all wondered whether he would hear the bell.j For unknownC?j reasons Kctchledge refuses to answer, thereby only adding to the aroused emotions of the class. He then asks: "Herr DeWees, sind Sie fleissig?" That gentleman feeling slighted that he had been asked an question which required so simple an answer, was by no means discomfited, but began a lengthy discussion of- Qwe don't know what he said, so we can't say on what subject he was dissertatingj. After what seemed to be an enumeration or a conjugation of verbs at the end of his sentence he asks: "Herr Fegely, konnen Sie Deutsch sprechen P" "Ya, e kin ditsch sprechenf' This was too much. Such accents were what was needed to arouse the Doktor from his rapturous enjoyment of the aesthetic product of the artist's imagination. Roughly brought to earth, the Doktor leaps to his feet, and with fire in his eye, scans the class for the offender. In- stinctively his eyes settle on Fegely who, for the second time in one day, had disgraced, nay con- taminated, the sacred precincts of the German lecture room with vulgar Pennsylvania Dutch. Fegely looks guilty and shrinks back in fear. The Doktor's glare is terrible. The class is breath- lessly expectant. But lo! the true magnificence of the Doktor, whose countless virtues we could not enumerate, was brilliantly displayed. With remarkable self-control he became calmg with a look quells the utterly humiliated Fegelyg and with a wisdom, rivaling Solomon, calls music to the rescue of his troubled soul. He approaches the piano, deftly runs his lingers over a few keys, looks to the class for approval, plays the Melodei, and puts heart and soul into a classic rendering of that sehonste Jungfrau, the Lorelei. As the last notes were still dying away, the ecstatic delight of 314

Page 323 text:

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