Lafayette College - Melange Yearbook (Easton, PA)

 - Class of 1914

Page 311 of 404

 

Lafayette College - Melange Yearbook (Easton, PA) online yearbook collection, 1914 Edition, Page 311
Page 311



Text from page 311:


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that his fault. He docsn't room on the campus, but there's a reason, for there's no girls on the campus either. He gets just as enthusiastic over fussing as over singing, acting and dancing. These, he says, are a side issue and they teach him when to make the right move at the right time, and they surely do. I nominate Doug Lawall." "Mr. President, I want to nominate a 'Man among Womeng' one who fusses so much he fusscs himself, gets fussed and verily lives on fussing. He can be seen in the frontrow of any theater at all perfonnances where the twinkle in his eye and the accuracy of the part in the middle of his wavy locks vie with one another in the admiration of admiresses. He is one envied by all. I challenge any man or woman present to present a candidate who can invite fussing with greater success than my candidate when he goes promenading with his graceful stride and handsome countenance: an entrancing twinkle in his eye and a gallant cane in his hand. I nominate 'Eddie' Carhartf' At this point as if to add emphasis to the speech, 'Eddie' is seen to extract a dainty little perfumed handkerchief from an interior hiding-place and pass it around for inspection. After Barker had a good look, and impressed upon the class that he aspired especially to this honor himself, he opened nominations for the "Politician" of the class. ' "Mr. President, we all know that Allentown is the home of homes, the home of fairs and the fairest ldoubtful looksl, the home of hotels fcertain memories fill all mindsl and soda fountains lsurpriselg above all, the home of politicians. My nominee doesn't live exactly in Allentown, he's too wise for that, for there he would be too open for observation. But he lives a slight dis- tance away in an unassuming little town where unobserved by the wicked caluminators of this world, and yet within close proximity to that lofty source of inspiration of Allentown, he plots the plans that ply the world. This man has now come to college where he plies the plots he plans. Like all successful politicians, he isn't at all particular, proof of which lies in the fact that he has aided in electing such a worthless specimen of the human race as our hallowed President. I nominate Fegley." . Mr. Trembath arises, and, in a manner befitting one who knows all, is fully conscious of it, and is eager to disseminate it regardless of the time it takes or the result on weak constitutions, begins: "Mr, President, political science, being the substance of nil, and the evidence of which we have yet to see, is not possessed except by the fortunate few. After prolonged investigation into the marked delineations of character in this class, and after considerable observation into the psychological capacities of all individuals concerned, I have eventually arrived at the con- clusion that a candidate for this honor should be fully qualified for it. The recipient or the recipiency of such an honor must be included in the category of the versatile subjects dealt with in the Encyclopedia Britannica, and therefore lclass, thinking he is going to quit, begin to assume less belligerent attitudesl we should now get right down to business and carefully take a survey of the circumstances. Now a-"fthe class, disappointed in their hopes, rise up in a fury, and cannot be quieted until the object of their wrath is ejectedl. Barker, however, receives his nomination, Vince Smith. After the identity of this individual is revealed, proceedings continue. "Mr. President. I should worry so about all this fuss. There is only one man 'fully qualified by his innate potentialities for the magnificent assumption of such an honor' as our friend, Mr. B. S. Trembath, might say. That man has been much in evidence this day. He has given away more cigars than any ten men and I don't know what else, he has been nominated for almost every ofiice, a proof in itself sufficient to elect my nominee. lClass begins to become impatient 304

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