Kettle Falls High School - Review Yearbook (Kettle Falls, WA)

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The Uncle Sam Chronicles N! lik A J.. tr ll ll x, X! 9 M1738 1- G? lil ll' 0 1- 7. 121 'ef ,t 1 :-21,-E' , X. . slssxy Y Q Q w,,ilI:f'W' American history did not begin in 1776 of course, any more than Columbus discovered the place in 1492. Civilizations flourished 1976. as all of us know by now. marks the 200th anniversary of American independence. The philosopher-historian George Santayana warned that those of us who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it. Another famous man said that while one may not always find truth in history, at least history is truth, by definition. Fortunately, it is not our task to argue the truth or falsehood of pronouncements like these, but merely to explore some of the back alleys of our past in search of...what'? Truth, beauty, meaning, the mysteries of life. Qi:-17 at fax . . AAAA . ee. . 1-X'w-at-x':' txwaliio .1 t E Y 1 is on both continents of the Western Hemisphere centuries before the Nina. the Pinta, and the Santa Maria sailed into the Caribbean. Leif Ericson showed up around 1000 and called the country Vinland. The first baby of European parentage was born in 1007, and they called the kid Snorro. Snorro and his Viking parents did not stay long. America was first used as a name in 1507, after the explorer Amerigo Vespucci. Billiards were introduced to St. Au rustme Florida 5, . . in 1565. and pocket pool made it to River City, Iowa, in 1900. The first beer was brewed in Roanoke, Virginia. in 1587, followed by popcorn in 1630, the same year that the first salt works were built. The first recorded duel took 1'tce in 1621 and ot'1toes were p . , p I. ' introduced to American soil the following year.- Harvard College was established in 1636, and the first Swedes arrived in Delaware in 1638. Slavery was introduced at Jamestown, Virginia in 1619: and the first corporation, the New York Fishing Company, was in 1675. The first known newspaper advertisement appeared in the Boston lt -01: News Letter in 1704, and golf was flourishing by 1729. - July 4, 1776. Declaration of Independence signed, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. There is no indication that Japanese fireworks were set off to commemorate the event. There was no school that day, since it was summer. 1776. First cocktail mixed. A customer asks Betsy Flanagan, a barmaid in Elmsford, New York, for a glass of cocktails, referring to a jar of tailfeathers kept behind the bar for decoration. Betsy obliges by garnishing his drink with a feather, which also becomes the first swizzle stick. 1776. First submarine. American Turtle is built by David Bushnell of Saybrook, Connecticut, and propelled by a hand-turned screw. The Turtle is used successfully to affix a bomb to Admiral Howe's flagship, Eagle. February 6, 1777. France becomes first nation to recognize United States. June, 1778. Secret Service organized. 1780. First slave emancipated. Elizabeth Freeman freed by trial at Barrington, Massachusetts. March 1, 1780. Pennsylvania passes a law calling for the gradual abolition of slavery. October 19, 1781. Cornwallis surrenders at Yorktown. September 3, 1783. American independence formally recognized by England at the Peace of Versailles. October 6, 1783. Benjamin Hanks of Litchfield, Massachusetts takes out a patent on the first perpetual motion machine in the United States. July 17, 1784. Thirteen year-old Edward Warren makes the first balloon flight in America. Edward, who returns to earth safely, is luckier than the balloon's designer, Peter Carnes, who crashes one month later. September, 1784. James Rumsey invents the motor boat. f -1 ,

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the indomitable American Spirit, the eternal verities? Maybe, but you won't find those here, either. Keep looking somewhere else if you're interested. What we have for you is an America that is usually forgotten, sometimes not even remembered, occasionally best left undisturbed beneath its rock. Your history books have given you the hopes, dreams. promises and realizations of America. For our 200th birthday, we give you a second look. And we give it to you one year early. The Uncle Sam Chronicles Benjamin Franklin conducted the first electric dinner in Philadelphia in 1749, the event by letter: A turkey is be killed for our dinner by the electric shock roasted by the electrical jack, before a fire indled by the electrified bottle: when the healths of all the famous electricians in England. Holland, France and Germany are to be drank in electrified bumpers, under discharge of guns from the electrified This was the beginning of 224 years of profligate use of electric power by Americans. a custom that continued unreversed until 1973. The turkey was served well done. Yankee Doodle was written in 1755 by Dr: Richard Shuckburgh at Albany, New York, as a putdown of straggly federals. Later the was played at the surrender of Cornwallis orktown. the time of independence. New York had a Chamber of Commerce. a law school, and a medical college: mustard was being manufactured in Philadelphia, and an inclined r ulway had been constructed in Lewiston, New York. Two days before independence, Jersey became the first colony to grant to women. Later New Jersey rescinded law declurin' in 1807 that onl free 1785. Dr. John Greenwood introduces the first porcelain false teeth to America and the world. One of Greenwood's first customers is George Washington. October 26, 1785. George Washington imports first jackasses from Spain. 1787. Levi Hutchins invents the alarm clock. Once set, the time of the alarm cannot be changed. September 17, 1787. Constitution is signed. September 13, 1788. New York named capital of United States. April 30, 1789. George Washington inaugurated. John Adams is Vice President, Thomas Jefferson Secretary of State, Alexander Hamilton Secretary of Treasury. ' September 15, 1789. James Fenimore Cooper born. 1790. James Dearham becomes first black doctor. - 1 5 Y white male citizens could vote. 1790. George Vancouver explores the Pacific Northwest coast. 1790. John Carroll is consecrated as Bishop of Baltimore, first Catholic bishop in the United States. March 1, 1790. First census records 3,939,326 Americans. April 17, 1790. Benjamin Franklin dies. 1791. Washington, D.C. is platted. March 4, 1791. Vermont becomes a state. 1792. First Conscription Law passes. Every white male between 18 and 45 is ordered to enroll in the militia and to provide his own weapon and cartridges. No punishment is specified for non-compliance. April 9, 1792. First macadam road between Philadelphia and Lancaster. April 16, 1792. First chuckhole. May 17, 1792. New York Stock Exchange meets at the Merchants Coffee House. October 13, 1792. Architect James Hoban lays cornerstone for White House. June 20, 1793. Eli Whitney applies for a patent on the cotton gin. September 18, 1793. Cornerstone of Capitol layed. Architect is William Thornton. Capitol completed in 1830. June, 1798. Oliver Evans manufactures the first practical steam engine. December 14, 1799. George Washington dies. December 15, 1799. The Bill of Rights, the first ten amendments to the United States Constitution, is passed. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Century.