Keokuk High School - Comment Yearbook (Keokuk, IA)

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------if-I THE 1941 COMMENTIM-'-1-l Dick Shultz recently published his iMemo'irs . We hear that they are havingtrouble in Boston. Government agent Elaine Lawson solved the mystery of why there are so many Smiths. In a small Michigan city she located the Smith Manufacturing Co. Glenn Riley, who had a rather low opinion of education, is happy setting pins at Blankenship's Bowling Paladium Qrecently renamed 'Patty's and Jake's in recognition of J'ake's new -partner, the former Patty O'Sheab. Glenn is able to keep up a constant repartee with 'his neighboring pinsetter, an orangutan imported from the Belgian Congo. Every Sunday morning the kiddies -gather gleeful-ly around the radio to hear Uncle Clippert read the funny papers. ' Right after Kieth comes Reverend Gregory, a missionary from Ethiofpia, And right after the Reverend comes fifteen minutes of Torrid Transcriptions featuring song 'birds Eddy Jobe and Ida Belle J-ones. Only asbetsos-coated radios pick up this program. Cooperating to turn the platters are Anna Lou Vice and Margaret Whitaker. News Item: 'tConcert goers are recovering today from the explosive forces hurled at them from the stage of usually staid Carnegie Hall. The occasion was the presen- tation of Raymond Beat me Daddy Banghart's jazz symphony. One of the high- lights of the program was the playing of the Concerto for five Drums by the Don Higgins Hot Five. Another zooty performance was given by Maestro Banghart and Melvin play it sweet Bates who teamed together in a number called simnply, The Piano And Sax In This Modern World . Receivers of this year's Mucollogheigm Scientific Award are Doctors Robert Carter and Laurel Haggerty. The doctors were given the award for their meritorious work in establishing television communications with the newly founded moon colony. Bernard Norman is the head of an organization whose purpose is to teach people how to drive safely. Inseparable Bessie and Betty Rotter have opened a joint on the West Coast called Bess and Bett's and have grown quite wealthy dispensing clam chowder. Right between Mr. Adams and Mr. Levant, on an elevated chair, sits expert Nancy Elgin of Information Please . For three years, before she got her elevated chair Nancy's outstretched arm could not clear the table and Quizmaster Elmer Spearman was at a loss to explain what had happened to his lady expert. Richard Tucker shoos pigeons off a prominent edifice in New York. The principal of the new, beautiful, three million dollar Keokuk High School is Jack Fader. Jack has hired Joan Porter to manage the office while he coaches the state champion checker team. All-American Paul Deyo is coaching basketball and drop-kicking at Siwash Uni- versity. The I-Ianley's, 1Carl and Kenneth, are disturbing the soil for their living. They say they're doin' right well, to-o, what with all these g-ol' dern new fangled machines the city fellers are puttin' out. Evelyn Bundy is giving instruction for the French horn, saxaphone, and the gramaphone. Norman Inman, II, won this year's Soap Box Derby driving the high speed model his old man, Norman Putt Inman used to kick around. Margaret White, following her sister's footsteps, is auctioneer for the Pell Mell Tobacco Co. Although Jean Gabel did study bookkeeping it was incidental in her being hired as chief librarian of Bud .Nordstrom's private library. Bud married an heiress and illustrates pornography in his leisure moments. TWENTY-SIX

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al l 1---ai-I THE 1941 coMMENT1m--i- Betty Marshall and Shirley Lofton gather walnuts for that new Walnut Breakfast- food Co. whose plug line goes, 'iRememlber: Only champions can eat 'Walnutt1es'! Top sports ann-ouncer of the country is Bob McMasters. Even in high school Bob was noted as a walkin-g 'library of sports informationg but what took him to the top of his profession was his sensati-onal ability to forecast winners. 'His most spectacular forecast to -date was the choosing of Gertrude- Hedrick to win over Shirley Gardinier in the national shuffleboard meet at Atlantic City last year. Sign 'painter Dick C-asaidy, weary of sketching letters, is now taking an anatomly course on one of 'Chicago's more windy corners. Becoming artistic soon after graduation, Ida Mae Haskins has embarked on a career of wall paper designing. To give some examples of her scofpe of operations she 'has designed a luminous paper for people who are afraid of the dark, After gracefully turning down the .presidency of the U. S. 7Ric'hard Othmer has resigned himself to a life of even more varied accomplishments than that of Leonardo da Vi-nci or Bob Burns. Richard Rose isn't doing anything. Bofb Maddox, famed explorer, has discovered a race of 'blue -pygmies on the Isle of Twango Bangio and plans to tour the world exhibiting the lilliputs in his 7-ringed circ-us. Due to a slight miscalculation by fiight engineer Felix Anschutz of Planetary Airlines Inc. daring test pilot Jack Doss will be a satellite of the planet Pluto for at least five billion years. But he sh-ould care--with him was aviatrix Al-ma Andrews! A new singing commercial 'has two former KI-PS'ers as featured soloists. Every morning at-6:4-5 Wanda Strahn and Rex Power emote with '1Duz does it and Crisco too but DuPont paint gets clothes twice as blue . C. M. Jack-son, an inventor -of labor saving devices, has now invented a device to reduce the laabor of inventing labor saving devices, Another dynamo of energy is Ray Bailey who operates the controls that open the Keokuk-Hamilton Bridge. It is probably only coincidental that a numfber of cars have hurtled off the bridge recently. Joe Fields, chief of police, spends all his time chasing desparad-oes around Goat Hill. Po'k Chops is his ever-ready deputy. The leading lady of many musical extravaganzas, Diane Krueger was afraid of being typed after starring in 0klahoma! , PensylvanI4A , and CalifornI-A , but recently agreed to appear in No State a Steele-Shrdlu production. The title of this production has an interesting origin. While co-producer-author Jean Steele was still in the throes of co-mposing it, reporters insquired if she w-ould state the name of the new extravaganza. Rapt in composition, Jean unthinkingly replied No state. Noted Keokuk club woman, Dorothy Prince, has formed The Club of the Month Club and sends each member, each month, a nice, in season shillalah. Clyde Glasscock is developing something new and exciting in portable radios. Designed for false teeth wearers, the radio is concealed in the front teeth and stations are tuned by a flick of the tongue. Eldon Tucker, eminent archaeologist, is quite ecstatic over his discovery of five thousand pickled monkies in a Greek catacomb, Ann Anderson, who runs a day nursery by day an-d ai night nursery by night, finds that, excepting the Rovane brood, the children behave quite nicely. After being employed in a hat shoppe a short time, Lucille Carlton married a Swedish boy and had two fair haired children. Nada Petry is furnishing -all the mackerels that people are as dead as. In a new play on Broadway, The Animal Instinct, co-authored by Clarisse Gordon arad Salliie Guy, Bill Finerty portrays a dyspeptic sea lion in 'one of his most difficult ro' es to ate. TW ENTY-FIVE

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---all THE 1947 COMMENT 1-e-1--- Most of his leisure, however, is spent sipping and supping with affluent jingle composer Jim Biery while a group of Goldwyn Girls and a symphony on the patio provide appropriate dinner atmosphere.. l'0'h, the joy of being your own prophetl. -Colleen Leake recently led a seventy-eight block long parade--composed mostly of admirers--up Broadway. The parade was sponsored by The Retired Air Raid Wardens of Greater New York and Kukomong-o . If you ever have the pleasure of seeing the world famous Rockettes and your eyes get as high as the girls' faces you no dou'bt will recognize Jean Bank, twenty- third from the left. Dorothy Atteriberg is the star attraction off' the Follies in Paree. Charles Atterberg has rigged up television sets at various places in the t-heater allowing -him to enjoy the choice performances in the comfort of his own home. Wild Willie Hoffman has engineered a position as professional wrestler for Mike .Jacobs Bill won his last match from Bull Moose in three falls or throws. Willie was certainly throwing Bull that night. Rex Boehm, advertising model, is especially known for his portrayals of The Man of Distinction . Rex says he needs the Lord Calvert assignment to brace himself for his Stretchfy-seat 'underwear advertisements. David Koch rather unexpectedly took up art after visiting ar life class at Sunshine Art Sch-ool, Ohio. Bob Leu has a spacious ranch out west. His fifty thousand head of anteaters often get lost in the backyard, Phyllis Dose has the jotb of naming the new perfumes. She says this is quite an emotional strain. Mary Margaret Worster owns a chain of sweat sh-ofps in N. Y. Her company manufactures classy clot-hes for casual people. Like the wonderful one -horse shay, Martin Peterson's auto fell apart one day and started him. on the road to success. Martin is now known as the junk king of Annaheim, Mazzazza and Powdertown. Congressman Powell of N. Y. has employed Etta Woods as his personal secretary. The Dupy Fruit and Bakery Co. has replaced A8zP as the world's leading grocery. Carl has Shirley Chance managing his gigantic St. Louis warehouse. Phyllis Van Ausdall has become a photographer of male pinups. Women every- where rush to buy each month's Harpers to view the current Van Ausdall Boy. Keokuk's head librarian, Norma Stark has purchased two hundred copies of Nord Strum's new book Forever Ember Duane Bair has started a coast to coast chain of Kaiser-Engler automobile dealerships and has as his chief shop foreman and draftsman, Danny Bramhall. Jack Engler was just recently selected by Kaiser to take over Frazer's job as head of desi-gn and motors. Bill gchowalter and Clyde Ferris are now wardens at Idle Hour Prison . Ferris is day warden and Bill takes the night watch. Bill says this gives hi-m time to make his telephone calls to Powdertown. The fellows became wardens after serving aipprenticeships as Y.M:C.A. secretaries. H 'Carl Dresser and Guerdon Miller started on a world cruise in an all-plastic rowboat of their own making and design. Last reports indicate that they sunk off the coast of Bermuda. The plastic for the boat was furnished by the W. E. Smellum Chemical Co. and discovered by Eileen -Chamiber-s while concocting a Mead-ow Gold Sundae. Allan Terpening has resigned as the brains of the See Sul Bottieger Company and gone into a monastery to contemplate on the pin-'ball racket. Charles Henry is the winner of this year's Olympic diving contest. Yes, Charles is quite a splash, but so are Ira Jones and Betty Londrie wh-o placed in the breast- stroke and distance swim. Russell Moore and Betty Steeples are now starring in the Tarzan movie series. They have proved quite popular and have just finished a new film, The Son Of The Son O-f Tarzan in which Russell gets to grunt seven times. Agnew Rovane, former U. S. Chamber of Commerce president, has assumed control of the old Hay's office and has announced that in the future banning of movies he will let his conscience be his guide. TWENTY-SEVEN