Keokuk High School - Comment Yearbook (Keokuk, IA)

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al l 1---ai-I THE 1941 coMMENT1m--i- Betty Marshall and Shirley Lofton gather walnuts for that new Walnut Breakfast- food Co. whose plug line goes, 'iRememlber: Only champions can eat 'Walnutt1es'! Top sports ann-ouncer of the country is Bob McMasters. Even in high school Bob was noted as a walkin-g 'library of sports informationg but what took him to the top of his profession was his sensati-onal ability to forecast winners. 'His most spectacular forecast to -date was the choosing of Gertrude- Hedrick to win over Shirley Gardinier in the national shuffleboard meet at Atlantic City last year. Sign 'painter Dick C-asaidy, weary of sketching letters, is now taking an anatomly course on one of 'Chicago's more windy corners. Becoming artistic soon after graduation, Ida Mae Haskins has embarked on a career of wall paper designing. To give some examples of her scofpe of operations she 'has designed a luminous paper for people who are afraid of the dark, After gracefully turning down the .presidency of the U. S. 7Ric'hard Othmer has resigned himself to a life of even more varied accomplishments than that of Leonardo da Vi-nci or Bob Burns. Richard Rose isn't doing anything. Bofb Maddox, famed explorer, has discovered a race of 'blue -pygmies on the Isle of Twango Bangio and plans to tour the world exhibiting the lilliputs in his 7-ringed circ-us. Due to a slight miscalculation by fiight engineer Felix Anschutz of Planetary Airlines Inc. daring test pilot Jack Doss will be a satellite of the planet Pluto for at least five billion years. But he sh-ould care--with him was aviatrix Al-ma Andrews! A new singing commercial 'has two former KI-PS'ers as featured soloists. Every morning at-6:4-5 Wanda Strahn and Rex Power emote with '1Duz does it and Crisco too but DuPont paint gets clothes twice as blue . C. M. Jack-son, an inventor -of labor saving devices, has now invented a device to reduce the laabor of inventing labor saving devices, Another dynamo of energy is Ray Bailey who operates the controls that open the Keokuk-Hamilton Bridge. It is probably only coincidental that a numfber of cars have hurtled off the bridge recently. Joe Fields, chief of police, spends all his time chasing desparad-oes around Goat Hill. Po'k Chops is his ever-ready deputy. The leading lady of many musical extravaganzas, Diane Krueger was afraid of being typed after starring in 0klahoma! , PensylvanI4A , and CalifornI-A , but recently agreed to appear in No State a Steele-Shrdlu production. The title of this production has an interesting origin. While co-producer-author Jean Steele was still in the throes of co-mposing it, reporters insquired if she w-ould state the name of the new extravaganza. Rapt in composition, Jean unthinkingly replied No state. Noted Keokuk club woman, Dorothy Prince, has formed The Club of the Month Club and sends each member, each month, a nice, in season shillalah. Clyde Glasscock is developing something new and exciting in portable radios. Designed for false teeth wearers, the radio is concealed in the front teeth and stations are tuned by a flick of the tongue. Eldon Tucker, eminent archaeologist, is quite ecstatic over his discovery of five thousand pickled monkies in a Greek catacomb, Ann Anderson, who runs a day nursery by day an-d ai night nursery by night, finds that, excepting the Rovane brood, the children behave quite nicely. After being employed in a hat shoppe a short time, Lucille Carlton married a Swedish boy and had two fair haired children. Nada Petry is furnishing -all the mackerels that people are as dead as. In a new play on Broadway, The Animal Instinct, co-authored by Clarisse Gordon arad Salliie Guy, Bill Finerty portrays a dyspeptic sea lion in 'one of his most difficult ro' es to ate. TW ENTY-FIVE

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l'T- Ml THE 1947 COMMENT lid SENIOR CLASS PROP!-IECY We had just about given up hope. The deadline for turning in this prophecy was almost up and our Helper h-adn't shown up yet! Previous prophets, you know, have been helped out by such omniscient beings as Kilroy, Far-sighted G-ran'paw, or Mrs. Ouija Board, Afterall, to decide right off what one hundred and thirty-some innocent school- mates are going to be doing in ten years and probably for the rest of their lives is a pretty serious thing to do, especial-ly without a Helper. But just as I said, we ha-d almost given up hope when the funniest, most coincidenta-l thing happened. Just as I was sort of unconsciously fingering an ink bottle I happened to say, Inky blinky block , and whether you believe it or not, a big, black genie rose up from inside that ink bottle and sat on my desk. It had a rather shapeless sha-pe, called itself Monsieur Scri.pto . It is to Monsieur Scripto that we are indebted for guiding our fingers as the following lines were peeked: ' After experiencing a twenty-two inch upshoot several -months ago, Speck Dowell replaced Charles Atlas as the World's Most Perfectly Developed Man. Among those taking Speck's muscle course is Coach Hap Miller. They live to dye and dye to live. Yes, that's JoAnn Biddenstadt and MarScine Roche who have made a fortune in Hollywood testing the new hair dyes for the stars. The current hair color is a fuchsia and yellow plaid--a striking combination. America's champion shot putter is Bernice Elllenberg. Ed Buckney is really on the ball -out in Oregon. He mana-ges the No-Par golf course. It was on this course that Floiyd Wyrick made eleven consecutive holes-in-one to win the 1952 American Closed golf tournament. Montgomery Ward catal-og has 'become a best seller since Jewel Henson and Wille-tta Smith became that firm's chief models. Sometimes they model coats and sweaters, other times--well--it doesnft am-ount to much. I I Phil. Myers has become a big gun in the munitions business. iAfter experimenting with chalk and paper shells during his senior year Phil shot into the bigtime by manufacturing a shell made of copper-pl-ated irium. Dick Rosa is a big wheel in the washing machine industry. He sells a- machine that washes clothes, dishes, floors. walls, bakes bread, changes diapers, and can be made into a spare bed room. Dick is doing quite well. Leonard Bryant is a big monkey wrench in F0rd's Detroit auto works. i The first woman judge of the U. S. Supreme Court is Barbara Howard. She has hand-led th-e international situation very well in th-at she has instigated only three minor wars a-nd has caused iniiation of the Lazurk, Hottentot fifteen cent piece. Margaret Ege has devised a sure-fire plan for saving money. She suggests burning all due bills at the end of each month and banking the money you would have used to pay them. Bette McVey always like-d to do things in a 'big way, like preparing a week's assignments all at -once. So it was no surprise when we heard that Bette, who thought the ideal family size was six, had recently been blessed with quadruplets. The biggest department store in the world, Goldiblatt-BarrfField-Younker and Co. hired nary a one of the grads. The stinkers! Everyone is agog at Clarence Skog who is a big cog in the nog and grog business out at Soganbog. Maine. Helen McFerson has founded the McFerson School of Language and has on her foreign language staff Dorothy Londrie, who has been doing missionary work in Brooklyn, and Delores Sale, former ambassador to East Transylvania-. Earl Depew, public relations man for Green House Dairy, says Mool to all cows he sees. , , gil g TW ENTY- FOUR m.n..l.l....i.. ...,-,,A,,-a. . -- - hi! ' ii

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------if-I THE 1941 COMMENTIM-'-1-l Dick Shultz recently published his iMemo'irs . We hear that they are havingtrouble in Boston. Government agent Elaine Lawson solved the mystery of why there are so many Smiths. In a small Michigan city she located the Smith Manufacturing Co. Glenn Riley, who had a rather low opinion of education, is happy setting pins at Blankenship's Bowling Paladium Qrecently renamed 'Patty's and Jake's in recognition of J'ake's new -partner, the former Patty O'Sheab. Glenn is able to keep up a constant repartee with 'his neighboring pinsetter, an orangutan imported from the Belgian Congo. Every Sunday morning the kiddies -gather gleeful-ly around the radio to hear Uncle Clippert read the funny papers. ' Right after Kieth comes Reverend Gregory, a missionary from Ethiofpia, And right after the Reverend comes fifteen minutes of Torrid Transcriptions featuring song 'birds Eddy Jobe and Ida Belle J-ones. Only asbetsos-coated radios pick up this program. Cooperating to turn the platters are Anna Lou Vice and Margaret Whitaker. News Item: 'tConcert goers are recovering today from the explosive forces hurled at them from the stage of usually staid Carnegie Hall. The occasion was the presen- tation of Raymond Beat me Daddy Banghart's jazz symphony. One of the high- lights of the program was the playing of the Concerto for five Drums by the Don Higgins Hot Five. Another zooty performance was given by Maestro Banghart and Melvin play it sweet Bates who teamed together in a number called simnply, The Piano And Sax In This Modern World . Receivers of this year's Mucollogheigm Scientific Award are Doctors Robert Carter and Laurel Haggerty. The doctors were given the award for their meritorious work in establishing television communications with the newly founded moon colony. Bernard Norman is the head of an organization whose purpose is to teach people how to drive safely. Inseparable Bessie and Betty Rotter have opened a joint on the West Coast called Bess and Bett's and have grown quite wealthy dispensing clam chowder. Right between Mr. Adams and Mr. Levant, on an elevated chair, sits expert Nancy Elgin of Information Please . For three years, before she got her elevated chair Nancy's outstretched arm could not clear the table and Quizmaster Elmer Spearman was at a loss to explain what had happened to his lady expert. Richard Tucker shoos pigeons off a prominent edifice in New York. The principal of the new, beautiful, three million dollar Keokuk High School is Jack Fader. Jack has hired Joan Porter to manage the office while he coaches the state champion checker team. All-American Paul Deyo is coaching basketball and drop-kicking at Siwash Uni- versity. The I-Ianley's, 1Carl and Kenneth, are disturbing the soil for their living. They say they're doin' right well, to-o, what with all these g-ol' dern new fangled machines the city fellers are puttin' out. Evelyn Bundy is giving instruction for the French horn, saxaphone, and the gramaphone. Norman Inman, II, won this year's Soap Box Derby driving the high speed model his old man, Norman Putt Inman used to kick around. Margaret White, following her sister's footsteps, is auctioneer for the Pell Mell Tobacco Co. Although Jean Gabel did study bookkeeping it was incidental in her being hired as chief librarian of Bud .Nordstrom's private library. Bud married an heiress and illustrates pornography in his leisure moments. TWENTY-SIX